Yesterday i seemed so much more awake mentally, today i just feel like a zombie who cant even function the oven properly.... ooh and seem to keep my eyes open
All quite normal in recovery,Savage.A brain injury repair is not like a broken leg,that gets better and better each day.It fluctuates,some better days,some worse,especially if we overdo things on a good day(and it is hard not to when feeling good) without realising it.We get payback and feel rough for a day or so afterwards.Don't fight it,just relax,take it easy and let your head catch up again.It's a lovely afternoon here ,perfect for a snooze in the sun : )
Yes, I STILL can't really understand our fatigue/feeling really bad, because although often it's after I've done way too much and had mega stress other times I can't see any reason or cause, it varies, that's how it/we are.
Had so many BAD days overdoing it and yesterday being TOTALLY scrambled by woman I went to for help. Thought today = maybe MY fault because I should (maybe) set out at start how I am (simply) and what I am there for/need and what NOT to do = please give me simple clear true info I can rely on. But shouldn't have to do that (the latter)!
Woke wide awake 3.30am with MEGA frets about everything: stupid me, didn't rest or sleep yesterday afternoon coz brain on overdrive after talking to the woman who scrambled me and then it just WON'T shut up, tried to rest but really couldn't.
So took another tablet at 4.30am and slept til 9! And today have (really surprisingly) felt more clear-headed than in AGES, why? NO idea! So today I'm PROUD of myself, nothing at all to anyone else but today I :
- washed up
- sorted some papers
- hoovered 3 mats (not done for 9 months)
- wrote a postcard saying thanks to somebody
- put some heavy winter bedding away
- tried to find hand towels but can't
- tried again to sort my car insurance, think can't ?
- put some food away into cupboards that'd been waiting for a week or so
And now I'm EXHAUSTED, but for me = proud coz done lots more than most days.
And not talked at all really today (briefly on phone) or gone out = so no overload walking, seeing movement, no cognitive overload outside.
I moan so much on here thought I'd share my 'successes' - though VERY minor to those without ABI.
Sad though that I feel proud at these little things but think it's only me who knows how hard they are to do now - and others ABIers of course! Governments/DWP have NO idea how we must WORK just to try live, how can we explain it to them?
So, coz done so much today I might be exhausted tomorrow. Know (but forget) that if do too much pay the next day or two, but when feeling bit better feel MUST try to catch up with the never-ending list of jobs MUST do that gets added to faster than I can do them. I remember trying to explain that to the ABI co-ordinator where I lived in 2007 but STILL got no help from Social Services and muddled on OKish with FREQUENT exhaustion and tears, but nobody sees me like that usually except when I break down in public, try not to coz it's SO embarrassing.
Ive seen a few posts that you have put on here and my heart goes out to you as you seem to be battling everything on your own. I wondered if you had a friend or relative that you could talk to who could perhaps try and help you sort out and prioritise what you needed to do in small chunks so it wouldnt feel so overwhelming and cause you more stress as everything then seems too much to cope with especially if you are not feeling great. Is there a Headway group in your area if not why not try the helpline see if they can suggest some support in your area?
I am dealing with stuff for my daughter so I know it can get quite stressful on top of everything else but for me its a welcome relief as doing something practical for her makes me feel useful as its horrible not being able to help her recovery physically.
Please try and find someone to help you out, take care
Thanks Niki/Cath, Woke exhausted this morning, derr: WAY overdid it yesterday and had the most terrible night, kept waking and mega frets about ALL the stuff trying to do = NO rest, brain busy all night.
Been asking/pleading for help for 9 months but although people SAY they're helping and will help then they don't. Really hurts.
So cried already today (after washing up = already frazzled) but forced myself to clear papers from floor coz slipped yesterday, already fallen down stairs and shoulder/arm STILL painful months later but doc didn't examine properly or give a toss. Broke ankle/damaged foot on stairs 2010 and foot still deformed/painful but no doc gives a toss.
So today too tired to do anything much at all. And so the years roll by. Just can't get my head round NOBODY helping when it's their job to, paid to. Makes me feel rubbish that I can't do it all or properly, makes me hate myself because they make it very clear I don't matter AT ALL. Totally lost confidence in myself and others, HATE my life like this but am totally stuck and can't change it.
So sad: felt quite good yesterday but like the dumbo I am = way overdid it.
Can't get my head round all those who know me being happy to leave my physical injuries = am in constant pain and STILL hurting bad from walking too much 6 days ago, shouldn't do it but I CAN walk and too hard to do by bus. Am more injured now than at start after op and apparently that's OK and some find it funny = SICK.
Yes, you'd think there'd be someone who'd help me wouldn't you? Nobody to turn to, tried SO hard. Very very low and broken.
Oh my love Im really sorry to hear how you are feeling. Are you in UK if so please give the Headway helpline a ring Im sure they can put you in touch with someone in your area that can help you
Niki/Cath, I'm not in the UK I'm in France and I've tried for months to find people to help me but failed even though they promise to they say too complicated and drop me.
I'm scared to try buy help because did in UK and me such a dumbo and she didn't help me in ways wanted needed, felt like. I buy stupid things I don't need and aren't right for me and I give my money away when people ask for some/need it = I'm so rubbish at stuff,not everything but lots of things. Stupidly bought van even though KNEW not right, I do such stupid things and feel really scared at myself.
I've got yet another charity (I think they are) coming to see me at home on Tuesday but am TERRIFIED they too will drop me. Hate having strangers coming to my home but am desperate and they too far (I think coz parking/car probs at mo/get lost) for me to go there.
Was told (several times) to try get state help here for things I'm not able to do (though keep trying and wear myself out/fall to bits, especially my worst nightmare = PAPERWORK/understand systems) but keep going round in circles: one thing depends on something else and I get too boggled and drop it til the next time try again. But bit of a catch 22: need how I am and my ABI to be recognised and accepted as true but no doctor and no records explaining it all and apparently nobody believes me coz we're assumed to be liars = must have proof and I not got, can't get, blocked.
Am VERY VERY confused and sort of given up coz WAY too hard for me. And although yes got psychological probs like depression, anxiety, sleep/nightmares, PTSD/repeated traumas = SICK of told I'm JUST psychiatric and anyway the psychiatrists don't understand or help me, not even allowed to talk/get therapy for it all, help me deal with the past and how I am now = yes: grief, loss, despair etc. Don't know what to do: am VERY stuck, feel a failure but although know not MY fault makes me feel like it is coz NOT clever enough and not got EVER enough energy even though I give it all I can and NO time/energy for things I WANT to do and lost my ART = SO sad. So: don;'t know who else to ask/turn to. Very very lost.
Have you no family that can help you as it sounds like youve lost all confidence in outside organisations but you really sound like you need some proper support to try and help you work through stuff little by little. Perhaps if you made a list of what is most important and just did one thing then move onto the next. The list will keep getting added to but perhaps it would help if you could tackle it bit by bit till you are feeling better and less stressed. I wish I could help you in some way and I really hope the people coming to see you next week can.Dont give anyone your money and try to only spend on whats on your list to sort out. Sorry sound like your mum dont I - its just a natural reaction when I hear someone struggling. Sending you a big hug
I also suffervfrom fatigue and sleepines and judging from the regular posts here it would seem to be very common with people with brain problems (l have a tumour, stable at moment).
I'm currentley seeing a nueropsychologist for rehab and one of the things tob covered is coping with fatigue so when I get some useful coping strategies I will post them here for you.
Sporan: tips for helping cope with fatigue = YES please!
I actually had quite a good day today (sorry always such a moaner) after yesterday was a complete wash-out exhausted wasted day. Took tab yesterday to shut brain up and slept properly in bed in the afternoon and felt lots better after.
And coz did that = and NO brain-strain I slept FAR better last night, the opposite of what my GP said/believed!
So made myself go out for bit today, hot choc at café (I never do that, think SAMBS suggested). Could NEVER do that when trying to exist on benefits: far too wasteful/expensive.
Then chat with bloke about car insurance = he says he can-do, hope it's true coz really fretting about that and daren't use car.
And got recorded delivery letter I was REALLY stressing about (hate ALL letters now, official ones NOT nice ones from friends) and yet more instructions. Then I remembered = I THINK I'd had one asking for same stuff but didn't know what to do so left it then forgot then buried in the piles of letters. So this time I'll just do what they tell me to, not try think coz can't come up with anything clever/answer. ??? I never know now, I used to, quite what to do about ANYTHING, so awful.
I think confusion and losing things is all part of the same BI experience.
I keep putting things in the wrong place and not be able to them (a bit like bo-peep really) and no matter HOW hard I try to follow my own advice of keeping stuff in the same place I still do it but I think thats more due to the type of seizures I get from the epilepsy.
If I get the info on fatigue then I'll post it on here.
works full time so I cant have naps or rests in the day and I have no family who want to help.
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