Dreaming of University

[Negeen]

Sometimes I get really sad about the fact that i'll never know what it's like to get a college degree.. I get very sad.

[sange]

how about Open University courses and getting a support worker if you try and dont succeed keep trying you have nothing to loose ...i know i dont know your ability but i know the poor of will....and neuroscience (research says the brain can rebuild itself ) that its neuroplastic so how about that as a topic to consider and future learn has many online taster university type intro course and coursea too and look at online stuff at alison.com all free ....one day one step at a time ,,,

[lew-ann]

Please don't it is possible but really hard I had a still do have all sort of memory issue and at the moment I am halfway through my law degree I don't do well in a written examinations but I now have DSA which provides extra help, they are fantastic I get extra help and software I am allowed to use my laptop for the exam (word processing only) I get extra time and a coffee break at home they send an invigilator so no cheating it is really hard but you have to keep going I now know the brain does not repair itself you just adapt and find ways round it take care and aim high prove to yourself. No one else x

[Danslatete]

I never went to uni or college as it is in USA. I got my qualifications at school and college then in the Air Force and throughout my working life. I have a folder full of pieces of cardboard proclaiming my ability to do stuff.

The thing is, none of it apart from first aid, is any use to me now. I would need to go back to college to get up to date qualifications if I were to change jobs.

Many people in my family are degree holders, some have two or three most of them were gained in adulthood as the previously important on the job experience or working up the ladder were overtaken with the need to have certificate to say you are competent to do the job you been doing since you started work.

There are many people who would love to gain a degree education but for many reasons can't access it, it doesn't mean you are less than worthy as a human being.

[Kirk5w7]

Hi Negeen, Janet here.

I think I know where you're coming from on this, it's not so much the piece of paper it's the whole life experience you want isn't it. To trip off to college and be "normal" with the other students.

Wish I could wave a magic wand for you, I never did university, tried it and dropped out after 6 weeks, I couldn't settle, I can't say I've missed it, my life took another path , and I wouldn't change it.

Regrets are self-destructive you need to fix your eyes on the horizon and make your way forward. I know education is different in the USA, have you explored what's available to do at home ??

Love and hugs to you xxxxxxxx

[Negeen in reply to Kirk5w7]

Janet has it on point, it's about tge experience more than anything else.

[Jennaberri]

Do it!!!! Seriously, since my brain injury I've been doing online courses in equine care, nutrition and animal behaviour and welfare. Got really good results. Before the accident I did go to uni, I'm severely dyslexic and had a short term memory (even before the accident, lol). I don't know where in the world you are but I would imagine all colleges and unis in the world have support systems fir students who have difficulty with things. I had full support, a note taker if I needed one. A dictaphone so I could record lectures and listen at my own pace when I got home. I got a third, I studied bsc conservation biology. I now have my dream job, hu n you CAN do it, it'll be hard work but so worth it. Do it for you, believe in yourself

[nemo_really]

What would want to do?

Would it be to show yourself (or others) you could do it? Or something that interests you? Or something that would lead to career that was better in some respect than what you have now? Or ... ?

Depending upon the subject and methods of learning, it will probably be harder work for you than for the average student, but having learning difficulties does not necessarily prevent someone getting a degree. I was lucky that my TBA left me with good visual memory and reasoning skills. OTOH, I have a lousy memory for facts am "organisationally challenged" and have the attention span of a ... where was I? Oh yes, it ... nope, gone, whatever it was (NODUF .. I bet Danslatete will recognize that word, although I can never remember whether it has one or two 'F's).

By the way, the Open University does cater for international students; degrees are modular and flexible, and you can pretty well take them at your own pace. Not for everybody, though, as some might benefit more from face-to-face or group tuition. However, here's a link open.ac.uk.

[iforget]

As I see it we have options...

We can decide its too hard and that we can't do it/will never be able to do it ... and so we don't do it. And we mourn the loss of the prospect/experience and feel resentful and sad and we will always be thinking " I wish I could have...its so unfair..."

Or:

We can try it.

If we try...

We might struggle, it might be really hard, but at least we tried. We will always know that we gave it our best shot...

We might need some extra support.... we must ask for all the support we need... most educational establishments have programmes to support students with educational needs. If the kind of support we need is not currently available, we should ask if there is anyway our specific needs can be met... they want to help us to be the best we can be... and of course, we should get as much support in place before we begin, rather than waiting until we are struggling...

We might struggle, even with support...but we may also grow in ways we never thought possible....

We might enjoy all or some of the whole experience that going to college offers...

We may even surprise ourselves and succeed....

Think how amazing any or all of those things might feel....

Of course if we try there is always the chance that we will stumble...that we will not make the final grade, that we will not enjoy the process...

BUT if we do not try then it is over .... we cannot succeed if we do not try. We will have CHOSEN not to succeed.

It wouldn't be easy (its not easy for anyone) and it requires a huge leap of faith (and a ton of practical measures in place too) but at least if we try and we give it our best shot we will know that we did not just sit back and say "I can't... " without ever seeing if we could...

At the end of the day only you can decide which would be worse for you... to try and fail or to fail because you couldn't even bring yourself to try...

[gr33nmind]

First of all, just having a degree, is kinda useless, and pointless. I just received one, pre injury but I'm not working on Wall-street or anywhere else for that matter. I kinda agree wt Janet. I think that going to college is only an important thing, because it is a loosely structured association of only people your own age. It gives you an opportunity to both learn and have fun. Still a person can do those kinds of things, even if they're not in college. It is harder, but certainly possible. It just requires keeping your eyes open to possibilities. Also taking classes online, and non credit courses are a wonderful things.

[gr33nmind]

Also, how do you absolutely know, that you'll never attend a college. Cognitive improvements can always happen, as time passes. Resigning yourself to failure, is the best way to fail.

[mikep129 in reply to gr33nmind]

Thanks for that comment,

Gives me hope for my wife's improvement!

[Hidden]

DO NOT GIVE UP on your dreams LIVE GETS BETTER (promise )

[Negeen in reply to Hidden]

Well I was told by a professional that "certainly she will be unable to successfully pursue an academic career"

[B_S_A in reply to Negeen]

No waaaaay! If they said that, then they're an idiot. What a stupid thing to say.

[RogerCMerriman in reply to Negeen]

people say lots of things, sometimes they are right, and sometimes they are less right. medical professionals tend to take the safest option which often can be a rather pessimistic one.

we are a long way from understanding truely how the body works, we have gained a huge amount of knowledge but there is plenty more to know still.

Please don't let someone rule out your ambition.

This said do need to work out what you want to study.

This is the first Job yes? did you think that would be possible? you may need to build up to it. but go for it!

[mikep129]

I'm with Danslatete,

I've got a degree and it's never done me the slightest bit of good.

I've had office jobs most of my life which I could have got with no qualifications. Now I drive for a living and it's the best job I've ever had, bar one (programming - for which I also didn't need a degree). My wife is much smarter than me, but never had the opportunity to go to university. It's just luck of the draw.

As for the experience. University was good and bad in equal proportions. If I had to choose now, I wouldn't bother with it. Apart from a bit of fun here and there it was a waste of time when I could have been earning.

In short, not having a college degree doesn't make you a lesser person. Not even slightly. Try not to worry about what it's like to get one. It's really not that big a deal. I'm sorry I wasted my time and my parents' money!

[Negeen in reply to mikep129]

Mikep, I can't tell you how appreciative I am of your comment

[mikep129 in reply to Negeen]

You're welcome Negeen,

Sorry I didn't see your reply sooner.

[gr33nmind]

Negeen, you wrote, Well I was told by a professional that "certainly she will be unable to successfully pursue an academic career" A professional Yeah, I had 'professionals' tell my family, that I wouldn't live. Then professionals told them, I'd be a vegetable. Then a professional told me, "your memory will never improve." Yeah professionals are usually so full of themselves, that if you believe anything they say, then you've been set up to fail.

[Flumptious]

To be honest, the 'getting a degree' thing is about lots of different things. Often, people don't use the actual 'subject' they learnt about, out in the real world. But they use the *skills* they learnt, too - following instructions, constructing and presenting arguments, teamwork... A large chunk of it is just leaving home, aged 18 (which clearly, you're not!). However, we often have mature students - sometimes they're in their twenties, sometimes they're in their sixties ("Right, it's time to retire. I don't want to get bored, though. Ooh, there's a new degree in Earth and Planetary Sciences, that sounds interesting!").

I think a lot of universities are happy to help people with problems. Talk to some - If you contact whichever department covers the area you would be interested in, and explain your situation, they might be able to help.

It really depends how badly you have been affected - is your memory OK, now? If not, yes that will be a major problem, of course. Did you do 'A' levels? If not, some universities do 'access' courses - you spend a year or two at a nearby further education college, doing stuff 'instead of' A levels. Likewise, they may be able to say "OK, because of your problems, we will give you x% extra time during the exams...". Speak to them, and find out if they'll try to help.

[MICH451]

hi having a college degree, dont worry i studied years ago got a degree in criminology, but its not much use when you have had a TBI. So i wouldnt worry about it, The main thing is you move forward and enjoy life. Because you owe it to yourself.