Walking through the world and not in it!

It wasn't until two and half years after my SAH and Stroke that I realised I was walking through the world during my recovery. The moment I realised that - I was back in the world! Now I am back I also realised that the injury was the one thing that nobody saw. The injury was invisible to the world and made me invisible too. People could see me being unreasonable but did not see the injury that was creating the change in behaviour. The injury has started to heal and I am more visible rather than the injury. I am different, still suffer from fatigue, anxiety, paranoid thoughts etc, etc but I am back, walking in the world again and no longer walking through it. Thought I would share my experience and hopefully help others whilst they are walking through the world. Good luck to everyone on the journey xxx

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  • It's only very recently I realised that 4and a bit years on from my injury that the first few years are a blur, almost like I was drunk for years and the whole thing is hazy. The things I did, decisions I made all within this mist of 'the past few years of my life' but it feels as though I've been asleep the whole time. Every now and then I let my mind eat away at its self til I don't think I can take it anymore then it throws me a rope only to slowly take it away. All the while I spend distancing myself from the people who used to know the old me, as just as you say nobody can see what's happening. What's happened. Suffering any form of brain injury is a cruel and torturous game, and none of us want to play. Exelent post alicedenham!

  • Thank you. How very true. The injury is very selfish whilst it is healing making person lonely and misunderstood. I feel like my injury it not so raw now and new skin is forming around the scab. One day it will be just a scar! :-)

  • You dont just have to be the one with the injury to have scars , i feel for you all and hope you recover to the best you can . I Cant fix what i can not see . The scars i have will never go .

  • How very true. Being the child with a father with schizophrenia and manic depression I have a lifetime of scars especially the emotional ones! Scars will never go away but at least over time that can become less prominent. I have the experience of being on the other side and how painful that can be too. My thoughts are with you xx

  • Great description of what happens! I've been living my life on autopilot for last 19 years, since knocked off bike (at 15) and head injured leading to coma/hospital. Been fairly aware of the old me - but in denial regards changes without realising it, thought I was just getting on with trying to get life started (and 'ignoring' head injury while I try to re start the engine from a different level - it's become a self-defeating habit)

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