Birthday 'party' or not?

[TwoCakes]

Hi all

B will be in a new rehab next week and its her birthday. A mutual friend has suggested a few of us go to visit B for a small birthday gathering. I usually see B alone as I can see that she is unable to follow conversation if people talk over each other or the conversation is full of banter and questions. I've also noticed that B can become more easily upset when there is a group.

But it is her birthday.

Does anyone on the forum feel able to share their views on whether a small group coming together is worth the disadvantage of being made tired or a bit irritable or not feeling part of the conversation? I'm thinking it will be really nice for B to have a bit of a 'do' on her birthday, but I'd appreciated your views as I want it to be a good birthday not a stressful one for her.

Cheers all!

[Pazstan]

It sounds like a lovely idea. I would ask one of her therapists what they think too as it is such an individual thing. They can probably give you some good advice on how to handle it, such as only having one conversation at a time.

I hope she has a good birthday.

Paula

[Shar_raby]

Hello, last year it was our sons 21st and we were unsure too! We finally decided to break up the day with small visits allowing rest and controllable conversations. We also took it in turn to talk one to one for a minute or so face to face with him!

It worked well after asking family and friends to co-operate. It also allowed us as a family to have some “normal“ family time which assisted us as a family to heal from the experience too. As an OT myself I have found that the support from family and friends is just as essential if not more important than hospital input sometimes. Support appears in different guises and it will benefit you and B to focuss on what was your normal before and how you are able to adapt.

We as a family are constantly moving forward and our son continues to progress so go ahead and enjoy the birthday!

[brighton88]

I'm sure B would like to know she is not forgotten, if I were you I would run it past B first, and give her the choice? I can remember back when I was in the early stages of recovery; small groups would come to visit me and I was not able to follow group conversations, and was left exhausted and frustrated. Which is how you seem to describe B.

[TwoCakes]

Thanks everyone. B is just moving into the rehab which is some distance from my home, but the staff are great and will definitely pass on the question you suggestion brighton88. So I shall do that, but first I have rung B's parents to check what their plans are as I think we could try the approach Shar_raby suggested. I think B would love having visitors over the course of the day and I've passed on the info from the SLT to B's friends.

Right, next dilemma....what present?!!! Only joking don't expect any answers for that one!