2002 A night out in town, after too much to drink and not being able to flag a taxi, i thought it would be better to cross the road so we had traffic covered both ways. I continued to talk as i crossed the road and didnt look to my right as i crossed, a mini bus hit me. This filped me in the air and i landed on my head, i sustained a skull fracture, blood clot on my brain and was layed in the road unconscious until i woke. I remember saying i wanted to go home.
I stayed in for around a week then returned home with the most horriffic head aches i have ever felt. All i wanted was to feel normal, back to how i was, myself.
After being off a month or so i made myself to go to work and try to get my driving licence back again some of the old life back. On returning to work i slept on my lunch, the nerve endings twitched constantly where the 50 odd stiches held my head together. I also had mood swings which were so hard to cope with. I was deeply un happy at 23 i had not experenced such deep depressive thoughts. I left one day and didnt return, that was the start of my 11 years on and off anti depressants.
Every time i have felt down i have been given cipramil, stayed with it for a few months and then when i am sick of feeling flat with no emotions stopped taking them. Until recently that is when the doctor looking at my notes asked me if i would ike to try sertraline. Well if you think its going to make you feel better why not try it. This tablet was different i went back after 6 weeks i was far worse but the doctor told me i hadnt given them long enough time to work. Back on them again and i still wasnt any better, i stuck with it for a year. It slowed me down so much and i was in my own world like 10 seconds behind everyone else. I am now 3 months tablet free again and doing exercise and going to run the Sheffield half marathon. Not really sure if i can keep living like this tho as depression doesnt ever seem to go.
The one constant is my wife, the greatest person ever. That is a shortened version of my last 11 years. Has anyone else gone through a similar experence or suffered depression let me know how you cope?