Eating out at Christmas

[penelope2]

Does anybody else get fed up with all the food adverts and worse still communities, friends and families, all having a jolly time, eating together, being shown on TV. Know it's a bit bah humbug, but when you are on a restrictive diet, gf and df, it makes me feel isolated. There is no way I would risk this sort of thing!

[Cooper27]

Well they do say the ideal way to eat healthy, is to break the habit between thinking of food as reward/special, so you're halfway there. You just need to find another way to feel like you're doing something special.

I'm still looking forward to an excuse to go to some extra effort for a few meals over the next fortnight, I'm going to roast carrots and parsnips in orange juice and make some proper roast potatoes, and enjoy some time off work without having to worry about what will be waiting for me when I come back (because everyone else will be off too).

[penelope2 in reply to Cooper27]

This sounds like a good approach and the carrots sound nice too 👍

[Cooper27 in reply to penelope2]

It is easier said than done, but if you want some help to reframe things, it helps to write down 3 positives about your day, every day, for a couple of weeks.

I tried this out when I was doing AIP (a really strict elimination diet), it was actually amazing how often I wrote "super tasty dinner tonight" as one of my positives, no matter how rough I'd been feeling about missing out earlier that same day.

[penelope2 in reply to Cooper27]

I think I am grieving for life as it used to be before gluten ataxia progressed. It is taking a long time but I am getting there slowly. Thank you.

[penelope2 in reply to penelope2]

It is the first time that I've written this down and that is therapeutic in itself!

[Cooper27 in reply to penelope2]

Oh I know, my partner is also coeliac and he also went through that spell of grieving for how easy things used to be. It's not easy, so all I can do is send hugs x

[cathie in reply to penelope2]

Cumin in carrots ...

[penelope2 in reply to cathie]

Sweet smoked paprika in rosted sweet potato chunks ...

[BabsyWabsy]

It is very easy to focus on being left out. I sometimes have to have a word with myself on this. Personally, I am not keen on all the forced jollity and the commercial hype. So, I do my own thing. I will be cooking from scratch for me and my husband, keeping it simple, quiet and knowing that it will be good, safe food. Our children all do their own thing, so it is just us.

[penelope2 in reply to BabsyWabsy]

Yes it is the best we can do for ourselves. Enjoy your day together.

[bookish]

Hi, absolutely agree with both you and Cooper27. It is an especially hard time of year when so much of our perceived 'togetherness' revolves around the food, so after a few years of letting that get to me, I am now a bit better at just enjoying seeing the rest of them have a nice (but not excessive) meal but taking a bit of extra trouble with what I can eat, so that I have a nice time too but without making the food the be-all and end-all (which it isn't and shouldn't be). I never eat out as it just isn't worth it, but I can cook something tasty, and I prod myself mentally to remember quite how much better changing my diet has made me, if I start to get the infernal internal grumps! I also keep my diary and often really enjoy my roast veg, or a new recipe, so write it down. It does help sometimes to look back and see what was bad and what was good, as I find I don't remember accurately. You just get an overall wash of 'that year was really hard' but if I read I can see that there were good bits amongst the less-good. So I count that as progress! This year some of the advertising is hitting me more because so many will be struggling to afford to eat/heat at all, so I count myself very lucky that my own situation is less precarious than others, and that I have learned enough to be trying to do the best I can afford to for my health and my family's health. Best wishes

[penelope2 in reply to bookish]

You are right, we have to be grateful for what we have, more than some!I have gluten ataxia so I remind myself that gluten and dairy are toxic to me, it works most of the time and getting some treats in helps!

And the further damage would definitely not be worth it. I have on various occasions gone hungry rather than risking it. Take care.

[eliz45]

I know exactly how you feel. There were so many delicious things I used to be able to eat and now it is so limited. All the treats at Christmastime look so great, and all the feasting and having fun. It is hard on the holidays. But one thing I have figured out that works sometimes in order to at least participate with friends throughout the year. People just come to my home and bring what they want to eat for snacks or lunch and I make my own. We sit and talk and have fun but there is no cooking involved and there are no worries about whether I can eat the food or not. It is very informal and comfortable and they seem to like it since they return. So although I do feel a bit left out on the holidays, I know a lot of people who can eat whatever they want get depressed in this season. So much hype. For some reason the holiday does not always deliver what is promised by the ads. Have a peaceful and relaxing holiday season. It is almost over. ha

[penelope2 in reply to eliz45]

Get others to bring there own nibbles and food so we can eat our own safely is a great idea, thanks. And yes the whole Christmas hype thing is just that really, my family are understanding even my young grandsons know what gluten free is, but mind you I have to watch those fingers, if you know what I mean. Thanks 👍

[Hidden]

Totally. When GF and DF you are not allowed to participate in normal life it seems. Equally, ads at this time of the year pump out a lot of old guff generally - most families and couples are descending into fistycuffs by boxing day, or simply white-knuckling it through until they can leave/their family leave. Christmas is one day of the year, that has many meanings for many people, but one-size does not fit all, and the ads are just depressing across the board.

[MTCee]

I have mixed feelings on the issue.

I used to feel I was being excluded from all the festivities because they were so often centred around food. But nowadays, when I see all the festive food offerings on the supermarket shelves, I’m not that tempted because it all looks so terribly beige and over processed. Everything seems to be wrapped in pastry.

What I do still find a bit difficult to avoid getting miserable about, is whenever I see a poster on the village notice board advertising a get together with a meal of any type. I know it won’t be anything I can eat, so it means I don’t go to such things generally. Bringing something of my own would require explanations which would only make me feel more excluded. Plus lots of events around this time of year include offerings of mince pies or cakes as part of the ticket, which I can’t eat and so that’s just plain annoying. I can’t even drink alcohol at the moment because of the medication I’m on, which seems particularly cruel at this time of the year. But that’s another story.

Overall, it’s easy to feel grumpy at this time of year when you’re gluten or dairy intolerant. But you can concentrate on making a yummy Christmas meal instead. This year we’ll be having roast chicken, lots of roast spuds, roast carrots and parsnips with a bit of local honey, home made gf chestnut stuffing, stir fried grated sprouts with bacon, and gf sausages wrapped in bacon. Dessert will be home made gf sticky toffee pud.

[penelope2 in reply to MTCee]

Yes I agree most food in supermarkets does look beige processed and wrapped in pastry and I do look forward to cooking a healthy gf and df meal.Spending time with family is the most important thing. My son is gf and my son-in-law, but they are not strict so there is a lot of understanding.

I don't worry about taking my own food it provides a talking point about gluten ataxia and I can talk for England about that!

Most people have heard of coeliac disease but very few of gluten ataxia.

Please can you say where you have got the recipe for gf sticky toffee pudding, that sounds yummy. Thank you.

[MTCee in reply to penelope2]

I do indeed have a cracking recipe, which I’ve honed over the years. I hope you can read it. Enjoy.

Recipe for sticky toffee pudding