Hi, I'm new here, and it's nice that this community on this website exists.
I'm a nonbinary transmasculine person (as I'm neither male or female, yet tend to learn towards being more masculine), and I go by they/them pronouns. I'm currently on puberty blockers (Lupron, in my case), and am also on an add back therapy (so micronor, which is just progesterone) as apparently this reduces the negative effects of the puberty blocker I'm on - according to my doctor anyways.
Now, because apparently the original plan with my doctor (who is collaborating with an endocrinologist in the US) was to just go on hormone blockers for 6 months, and I've actually been on puberty blockers for about 7 months so far. And so he asked me about what my plan was, going forward, and I have no idea what I should do - like I know I want top surgery, and getting on testosterone is also an option I'm thinking about, it's just I have no idea if and/or when my dysphoria will change and/or my feelings towards this will change (like it's difficult when you're a part of a system and everyone wants different things; and people identify and/or present differently - me being the host). It's also difficult when you're dealing with other mental health issues, and doing things for yourself feels like you're just wasting your time and that it's pointless. And also when your mom has explicitly said that she doesn't support you going on HRT, it's kinda difficult (to put it lightly) to honestly tell her what you want/need, as I'm just so scared of how she'd react (and I need her support to do this, as I don't have a bank account or anything of that sort).
Does anyone have any suggestions on what to do and/or how to proceed?
I just don't know what to do, and this is just another thing, upon me dealing with my mental health issues, that I don't know what to do about, as nothing seems to help (am dealing with major depression, anxiety issues, etc). Sorry if this is confusing and/or long winded, I just have no idea how else to ask/explain.