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Scheduled a doctor's appointment and now I feel like I am on the verge of a panic attack...

Kirsty_7771 profile image
5 Replies

I was excited when I scheduled an appointment last week. I researched this doctor and saw that she seems to have experience in chronic illness as well as thyroid problems (which is what I suspect I have), but ever sense last night I started to panic.

And the more I think about it, the more I want to just cancel the appointment and cry in my room all day. What was I even thinking? Here I am trying to take charge of my health, but I know that I might just end up walking out with more questions than answers and a broken bank account. I can't have that. I need to SAVE money, not WASTE it! I'm in college and on probation at my job...am I completely nuts?!

I don't even know what to do when I do go to the doctor. I don't want to explain ALL of my symptoms because that will end up just over-whelm my doctor. But, at the same time, I want to make sure she knows what I am dealing with, and I want to tell her the symptoms so she could see why I believe I've been suffering from a thyroid problem.

I've been meaning to call to check if I need to fast for any blood tests and whatnot, and to make sure that I can know beforehand how much the appointment is going to cost, but then I know I have to explain at least some of my symptoms to tell them why I think I need to get my thyroid tested, and possibly my cholesterol/triglycerides, and checking for any cysts on my ovaries (sense I had a problem in the past and am experiencing the same symptoms again)

Of course, now that my doctor's appointment is coming up, I'm no longer feeling my worst. Usually that would be a GOOD thing, but I'm afraid that because I'm feeling slightly better my results will come out normal (or semi-normal...again) and no one would care about what I think is wrong.

I'm panicking and on the verge of tears. I've heard people tell me so many excuses or that I'm crazy, that I don't think my heart could take any more of it. I couldn't even bring myself to tell my mom why I'm really going to the doctor, because she tends to make the most excuses (although, I know she doesn't mean to...).

I've suffered through so many symptoms for seven years. I'm tired of fighting. Any advice?

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Kirsty_7771
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5 Replies
KdStephens profile image
KdStephens

Wish I had breakthrough advice but I don't. I hear you & feel for you. So, breath & try not to

add on an anxiety attack. Deal with your Doctor and List of symptoms & explain that you wish

to do the cheaper tests as your funds are limited. Good luck hun.

Judmilla profile image
Judmilla in reply to KdStephens

You sound awfully young to have that many medical problems. I am dealing with much the same, but I am 74. I don't know which is worse: To be dismissed as too young to be that sick, therefore it must be mental, or to be dismissed because, hay, you're old, whaddya expect? We both feel rotten, and we want to feel better than this. Why is that so difficult for medical professionals to understand? My best advice though, would be to try to lay all your cards on the table, and hope that this particular doctor has enough empathy to understand that you need help, and to lay out a course of investigation that you and she can follow, as your budget allows. I'm guessing you don't have health insurance to cover the testing. Tell her that 1) you have all these varied symptoms that are pulling you down, and 2) you realize you are young to be having these problems, which is precisely WHY you are so concerned, and you have limited funds so you need to eliminate the cheapest things first and maybe save up for the expensive tests if they are needed later. Good luck with it, and don't give up just because you fear a poor outcome. If this doctor is a disappointment, maybe the next one will be better.

Kirsty_7771 profile image
Kirsty_7771 in reply to Judmilla

Thank you for this reply, this really made me feel better. :) I do feel like many people dismiss me because I'm too young. I do have health insurance, but I just don't think it covers that much. To be honest, my mom always scheduled my appointments and dealt with the payments when I went to the doctor, so I am kinda new at this. I don't feel comfortable talking with my parents because they don't realize that they tend to make excuses, and I feel so incredibly nervous to even tell them about my symptoms. In fact, every time I talk to my mom she either makes an excuse or gets quiet. /: She's not a bad parent, and I know most of it is my fault for not speaking up, but...still. It's too difficult.

I am going to the doctor this Friday, and I'm most likely bringing a friend for support.

Also, I'm sorry that you have to go through the same thing due to your age, too. I hope things get better!

Judmilla profile image
Judmilla

It's good that you are taking a friend. Can you ask that friend to do more than be supportive? Ask her (or him) to be an advocate, and to take notes, and ask any questions that she (he) thinks you might have missed? When I had cancer, my sister did that for me. It was a big help, especially when I was so fogged out on chemo that I couldn't think straight. Having another person along who can listen objectively and write things down and not be overwhelmed makes a huge difference. On other fronts, it sounds like your family is somewhat dysfunctional. You say your mom makes excuses.... For what? For you? For your symptoms? For her own lack of involvement? Your mom ought to be the one in your corner, being your advocate, being supportive. It's wonderful that you have a friend to do that, but why isn't your mom doing that? It sounds from here that SHE'S the one with a problem. Is there something else going on in the family that "is not talked about"? Drinking, maybe? Or abuse? I suspect that YOU are making excuses for THEM. It sounds very much like there is something going on in the dynamics of your family, and you are the one paying for it. I can't be sure from the limited information you offer, but something about it just screams out at me. If I am right, then please get help with that as well, and maybe try to extricate yourself from it in order to take care of yourself. Taking care of yourself can be a long and rocky road, but someone's got to do it. You and I probably don't have a single symptom in common, but I started out where you are now and I have the benefit of more than 50 year's experience in taking charge of my own health so maybe I can be of help. Best of luck.

Judmilla profile image
Judmilla in reply to Judmilla

Not every problem turns out to be serious, despite some really strange symptoms. By way of example: when I was in my mid-twenties, after college, I was working in a research laboratory in a major university/medical center. I started getting weird attacks of mystery symptoms. a few days a week, but not every day, I would have strange attacks in the early afternoon, around 1:00 pm or 2:00 pm. I would find myself standing in the middle of the lab, holding a rat in one hand and a syringe in the other, and not know why I was there or what I was doing with those objects....., then I'd come out of the fog and remember that, oh, yes, I'm supposed to inject this drug into this rat for my boss's experiment. I went to the employee health clinic; described the problem; the doctor ordered a battery of tests; they were all normal so he handed me a referral to a psychiatrist. I knew it wasn't a psychiatric problem, so I threw the referral away and forged on. A couple of years later, I switched jobs, and the symptoms vanished. A few years after that, I figured out that I am allergic to onions, and the employee cafeteria at that job put out big bowls of large, thick slices of Bermuda onions. I would often take a slab of onion and put it on a burger or in a salad. Some days, I would skip the onion if I was having something like lasagna that didn't call for raw onion. Looking back on it, I realized that my mystery symptom occurred on the days I ate the onion, and I was fine on the other days. Mystery solved! It wasn't serious and it definitely wasn't psychiatric. In contrast, fast-forward to age 62. I had one minor symptom, one time, and almost forgot to mention it to my doctor next time I saw him. I wasn't really concerned, but I just thought it was odd, and happened to mention it. HE was on the ball, and sent me to a specialist, and it turned out to be esophageal cancer. I had chemo and radiation and major, MAJOR surgery, and I'm still here 12 years later. I am very fortunate that I didn't have one of those doctors who would just dismiss me as a hypochondriac, or hand me a prescription for an antacid and tell me to come back in a year, or I wouldn't be alive to talk about it. so you never know. Over the years though, I have had health care experiences along a whole continuum between those two extremes. It takes work, and perseverance.

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