I'm so scared

[Mccasta]

Just wondering if anyone can help:

For about five months I've been feeling really tired. Like I have to force myself up in the morning kind of tired.

I started to get a hip and back pain and put it down to starting a new strenuous job and getting a new mattress.

Since the pain has gone I started to get tingling in my hip, it moved to my whole leg, then my face and now my arm. I feel like I'm shaking from the inside out and I have a pressure in my head and a slight ache. All these feelings are only Down the right side of my body. My doctor thinks it's anxiety because I've lost my mum recently but has refaired me for an MRI anyway. I'm just so scared that it's a brain tumor or some thing terrible. The only thing that helps me is taking Co codamol from over the counter. I've not left my bed in a week. I'm absolutely past myself with worry! It feels like the the symptoms cause my anxiety not my anxiety causes my symptoms

[JustDomUK]

Hello McCasta

First of all, I’m sorry you’re having a bad time, try not to get too worried. That’s sounds really hard but it helps to just take one day at a time. A wise man once asked if you can add inches to your height by worrying, the answer should be no unless you’re 9 feet tall :).

Focus your energy on the day ahead.

If it helps, plan out what you want to achieve that day and start at the very least. For me that can mean just the act of getting out of bed so I can understand how you feel.

The other thing to bear in mind is that it is easy to jump the gun and think that it’s the worst. Wait for the results of the scan before deciding what it may be.

Keep us posted on how you’re feeling.

Dom

[Mccasta in reply to JustDomUK]

I really appreciate your reply. I feel its definitely exasperated by my mother dying. She told every doctor that she was ill and they all told her it was depression from packing in smoking. She had terminal cancer and was dead within three months of diagnosis. So I'm kind of fearful about suffering the same fate. I do have these symptoms but I'm also over any analysing ever other symptom too.

[JustDomUK in reply to Mccasta]

Have you spoken to the Dr about how you are feeling?

Have you been offered any type of counselling?

If not this might help you and I mean this in regard to the loss of your mother.

I know it is hard. I can only hope it eases for you.

Dom

[Mccasta in reply to JustDomUK]

Yeah. I'm in councilling. I've just been started on antidepressants. I'm open to try anything. I hope these symptoms are in my head. I just can't see how!

I feel like i didn't maurn the loss of my mom. Everyone else was too sad so maybe this is what I'm experiencing. Who knows!

Thank you so much again for responding. I can't think if anything worse than being ill and putting my family through that again

[artmom]

Hi Mccasta. People here understand how you’re feeling.

I would echo what Dom has said. While what the dr has said may be correct it also may not be. And given what you’ve experienced some sort of therapy would be justified. That will hopefully help with previous but also present feelings. Also the dr will see you’re not dismissing possibilities. But that does not mean to stop looking at a more physical cause. Of course given your knowledge you are going to react very negatively to any suggestion that the origins are anxiety or something similar. Hopefully if your dr doesn’t already know this they react supportively to the information. I really hope you get the understanding you need. And small steps to get out of bed? To shower and dress is good enough for one day, etc. Worry and anxiety (I’m sure you know) have wheels all their own. When I find myself getting worried over what might be the worst as regards any symptoms I’m feeling, I stop the thought and tell myself ‘I don’t know and getting caught up in it won’t change whatever is wrong’. Now this is fine, but when I think how I don’t have a clue what is really going on and am I making all this happen myself etc. and the drs say ‘what a lot of symptoms all your tests are normal’, it’s hard to stay focussed and strong and trusting of one’s instincts. Be gentle to yourself and take care.

[Mccasta in reply to artmom]

Thank you. I got up and did some exercise on a stepper. I'll do some more later!

I'm trying my best not to worry. It seems to come in waves this overwhelming anxiety and tingling. It's OK but still present when I stand or lay down. Much worse in a sitting position and I am very over weight so I'm wondering if I've trapped a nerve of some kind. I just feel incapable to focus and consentrate.

I'm trying to think rationally then I get stressed and read Google symptoms and then I convince myself of other things. I've got to stop googling but I'm mostly looking for reassuring conditions. Trying to get some control over how I feel. I'm going to not Google anything today.

[92Immi]

Hi lovely,

Sorry you are experiencing all these horrible symptoms. Emotional upset Grief etc can come out in all kinds of different ways, I’m really pleased you are having counselling and starting some anti depressants. Have you had a physical trauma before this happened?

I have fnd and fybromyalgia as well as very bad anxiety. I drove myself crazy thinking I had a tumour and the doctors thought I had ms. The doctor in A&E told me whatever I do don’t google my symptoms before I’ve seen a neurologist. I didn’t listen and it drove me mad. Please don’t go down a google rabbit hole because you won’t know anything until you’ve had that scan and this is a time to rest and look after yourself- much easier said than done.

I would say you need to start trying to implement some self relaxation techniques now, whatever the diagnosis is the power of the mind is really something. Practice some mantras about good health and practice some meditation it may sound silly but I find when I’m anxious it really helps me to repeat phrases like / it’s just a stress response and I am healing and in good health. Try to distract yourself with things you like. Get plenty of rest and eat well also even though you are exhausted and feeling rubbish it is really important to get up and move as much as possible and try to keep positive. Don’t give up you are going through something scary and it’s the unknown which is the worst and jumping to the worst conclusions.

The feelings of the shaking from the inside out I have too I believe they are called internal vibrations and I also experienced the tingling that was my first symptom just in the left fingertips and then it spread to the left side of my body and then chopped and changed about.

Keep talking to everyone on here and when you have the mri it isn’t very nice and is very loud but you can absolutely do it. Keep us updated. I wish you all the best xxxxx

[Mccasta]

Thank you so much everyone. I massively appreciate everyone of you responding to me. It's really helped me managing knowing all you lovely people manage too. I'm still waiting for my Mri and the anti anxiety medication has kicked in and the symptoms seem to have settled slightly with it. However I just feel drained, my eyes feel dry and like I can't focus them and I'm 4 months into this right sided headache and numbness. I'm just so ready for answers.