Too young for this...

[Gud4Ewe]

There is a common turn of phrase used so simply, that it is rarely recognized as an insult, until you receive it.

"You're too young to have those kinds of problems." - Really?! Thanks, I'll let my chronic condition know!

Is there ever any appropriate age? No. We are all in this together. The sooner everyone realizes it, the better! Old or young matters not to biology. Each of us has our own path and our own rate of degradation or balance, and there is no standard by which that can be measured. The variables are infinite.

As we come into the holiday season, don't overextend. Be kind to your body and your soul. Take extra time when you need it, stay home when you need it, and ask for help. If your life is such that you can't take the break you need, plan time for yourself each night, where you can devote at least 1 hour to something that brings you joy.

We are ALL, "To young for this.".

[Hidden]

Too young for medical gaslighting?

If this is how you actually feel then maybe listen to this Webinar - it may help wake some people here up to realising there are many other rare but very possible causes of your symptoms that cannot be explained by a diagnosis of FND

Diane O’Leary, PhD presents - “All in Your Head”: The Problem of Psychogenic Diagnosis for EDS

[Gud4Ewe in reply to Hidden]

I don't second guess how I feel or what I face, but I know those comments are detrimental over time and errode especially this time of year. This is more of a PSA for self love/care, than anything else. Thank you for offering additional information though.

[Hidden in reply to Gud4Ewe]

I just feel this community is so full of sadness compared to others I use. And yet the symptoms people describe are actually no worse, less severe or actually very different to those described elsewhere.

Here there is just the feeling of resigned helplessness and innate assumption that “it is what it is” and there is the advice over and over that we must just accept this diagnosis in order to find inner peace?

Personally I don’t see much inner peace here - just depression, low self worth and self defeat?

Older people often tell younger people, for example, that they are too young to have arthritis or too young to qualify for a disabled parking badge. Of course this is just plain wrong.

I think fighting assumptions like these can galvinise us where resignation of the sort you seem to proffer can be soul destroying.

I know we have to go carefully with each other here because some will feel that acceptance of an FND diagnosis brings some necessary calm and peace.

But many more just find being told by their friends, families and strangers that they are too young to give up or accept or just to be ill will have an empowering effect on them. I’m 55 but I feel too young to take this nonsense lying down. I wouldn’t want my children, if they were chronically ill, to accept that this is as good as it gets. I don’t want to feel I’m old enough to accept this even though I’m 55 and my autoimmune diseases are incurable.

Fighting medical gaslighting is very similar to when an oppressed partner finally says to their oppressor, “enough is enough”. Knowledge is power and empowerment through research and challenging those who oppress us can sometimes give us back our self esteem. This is certainly how it works for me - especially at this time of year.

[Hidden in reply to Gud4Ewe]

PS a friend of 83 has had very FND like symptoms for 6 months since a severe case of flu. He feels that doctors have been gaslighting him due to his age. Medical manipulation can affect anyone of any age but the younger we are the more we can fight this kind of manipulation. This is why the old sometimes envy the young I guess. Saying “you’re too young for this” is their way of saying “please use your time to resist those who try to oppress us?”

[Hidden]

Thank you for this. I related to the phrase "you are too young to be sick". That's one I definitely just can't stand! I'm 15 and have FND. Thank you for the positive encouragement to take the time needed for ourselves!