Repossession order

[englishmumof2]

So 4 letters arrived today to say they won't re-new on the house so I've got 9 weeks to find housing😱. Not that I don't have enough stress to be going on with...At least it's not raining 😜

[Hidden]

Sounds like your landlord wasn't so great so hoping you find something better and less stressful 🤗

[englishmumof2 in reply to Hidden]

Landlord was useless as was the agent!! Got to make house perfect or we loose £2,100 deposit 😭.

[Hidden in reply to englishmumof2]

I always take photos before and after so when you're done take some photos so they can't come back and make things up. Iv even asked my removal men will you confirm I left the place spotless. And, they have.

I know it's stressful you are going through a lot but I believe things always happen for a reason. I'm not always sure what, especially with the FND!

I had an awful landlord overseas and had to move and find a new job at exact same time and ended up sharing with someone who became an awesome best friend.

I know you have a family just hoping you get a nice agent/landlord next time. Some landlords don't appreciate the good ones and you have a bit of notice to move so hoping that will help that you are not doing too much at once. Use that 9 weeks and break up the packing and everything else you need to do.

good luck xxx

[englishmumof2 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you 😍

[nurmihusa]

Oh good LORD?! Hugs!

[englishmumof2 in reply to nurmihusa]

I know.... the thought of all the work to do is overwhelming.. I'm just in stuck mode... sent kids out for the afternoon and have only managed to clean 1 carpet... I have no idea how I'm going to do this...it's hard enough coping with day to day stuff... but no good moaning just need to make a list (haha). And do something... no idea where to start though 😱

[nurmihusa in reply to englishmumof2]

Well, yes, a list a great place to start. But making lists can be stressful too. Hugses!

[englishmumof2 in reply to nurmihusa]

I know I write it all down then just sit and look then write more lists... 😜. It will have to wait till next week when kids are back at school pointless doing anything now !

[ukmsmi4]

Sorry to hear you are under so much stress. Moving house is difficult at the best of times.

I haven't moved house for 17 years and that was before I was ill and when I was still working full time so had no other worries.

As you say it isn't really worth doing much cleaning before the kids go back to school. I would suggest you start with decluttering as much as you can and packing away things you know you aren't going to need over the next few months. Perhaps as the kids are on holidays it might be an idea to get them to go through their stuff and see if anything can be recycled or thrown out or packed away in boxes. They probably won't want to do that once they are back at school.

Now would be a good time to decide if you are going to move yourself or get someone to move you. Also if you will be packing yourself or asking the removal people to do it for you. I'm guessing you are going to be packing yourself so you could start getting a hold of some sturdy boxes or crates from somewhere.

If it was me I would leave things like cleaning until very last as it will very likely only need doing again before you move so best not to waste valuable energy on doing things more than once. Plus the more stuff you can get rid off or pack away, then the less there is to move whilst you are cleaning.

Do you have any family or friends that could store things for you until you make the move? I guess some of your decisions will depend on where you are likely to move to. Will you be having to stay in the same area or could you potentially move further away. That could change what you need to do for the move.

I know it's a difficult situation to face but I would recommend you start doing as much as you are able as soon as possible. When you have kids to look after and a chronic illness leaving things to the last minute is not a good idea.

Good luck, I really hope things work out for you.

Gentle hugs, Margaret.xxx

[englishmumof2 in reply to ukmsmi4]

Thanks margret! I'd like to stay local as the boys schools are giving fantastic support ! I already decluttered a few months back so there's not a huge amount to do... it's things like large furniture to maybe sell rather than take.... I've got to make some big life changing decisions sooner rather than later... hugs xxx

[LEEJUNFAN]

All the very best with it all and take each day as it comes.

We're going through housing problems right now and it is very taxing at the best of times, even when you're healthy.

Keep on doing your best as that's all we can ever do but I can understand your frustrations to a T.

Best of luck my friend.

Best wishes always.

Tony & Kim xx 👍

[englishmumof2 in reply to LEEJUNFAN]

😍

[malalatete]

Hi there, here are some suggestions and thoughts which I hope will help:

Ask the agent for their photos and inventory which should have been lodged at point of letting. Without these they cannot claim degradation beyond fair wear and tear.

Use these photos as the standard to which you try to reinstate - but remember it is not supposed to be EXACTLY the same as when you moved in - fair wear and tear e.g. to carpets is allowed.

I suggest if you are worried that you get a professional firm in to clean the carpets. It will save you a job and some of these one man band franchise people are really reasonable. With all the cleaning you do I don't imagine there will be a pŕoblem though.

Your deposit should be held by one of the deposit protection schemes so if you think youŕ agent is being unfair go direct to them.

Get to the Council and make an application as homeless. You aren't homeless yet, obviously, but you are threatened with homelessness by a NTQ against which there is no right of reply - so loss of the house is inevitable. You will be in 'priority need' as you have children. You are not 'intentionally homeless' as your landlord has decided to sell. And you will have a local connection through time spent in the area by virtue of your current tenancy. So they will have a duty whilst you are still in the house to support you to find alternative accommodation and, should nothing materialise, to make sure you have accommodation once your tenancy ends. (You can also have a local connection in another District or Borough by virtue of long term residence of a parent or sibling).

This may only be temporary accommodation whilst you bid for a more secure property - and the nature of that varies from area to area. Some is better than others, but it is only temporary.

Your secure accommodation can be a Council tenancy, a Housing Association tenancy, or another private sector let. Again different areas work differently and it really depends on what the housing stock is like in their area.

You talk of 'life changing decisions'. This could offer you the opportunity to make changes in a number of areas of your life...I suggest you think through all the options.

[Ronwyn]

Hun that's not good as if you don't have enough going on you now got to deal with finding another place to live .. my heart goes out to you ❤️️💟💖😭😭

[Hidden]

englishmumof2

Like Ronwyn said, my heart goes out to you too...

Hope it works out best it can.

Dan / Seattle

[Shirleysy11]

Hi you must get to the housing ASAP explaining your situation regarding tenancy finishing , you have children and you have a medical condition which you must stress to them how it affects you. Regarding the deposit on the tenancy don't let the letting agent bully you , clean it as best you can take photos and if they say they are keeping all the deposit you MUST put a letter to the agent that holds the money explaining you are being unfairly treated and the letting agent are being totally unfair as the carpets etc is due to wear and tear which is the norm. My daughter had issues with her letting agent they tried it on she persisted and in the end they could only keep back £50 from her deposit. So don't give up. Take care

[VivienneWaterworth]

What I like about what Malalatete has said is that it reminded me that you can use photos of your house as it currently is to help with your application for another house. If they have any concerns about you being disabled and therefore not able to keep a house neat, clean and tidy, your current/recent photos of your house might be able to help allay their fears, from what you have said.

I have moved so often I can just about do it in my sleep, though I did shut down a lot with the last move, 1 or 2 years after being diagnosed with severe Somatisation Disorder (another variation of Conversion Disorder). I was crying all the time, and having seizures regularly.

Anyway, what i do is get a kids exercise book and start putting headings on each page. One per thing you have to do, e.g. carpets/ carpet cleaners and perhaps professional house cleaners if you can afford them (or your kids friends, if they are old enough and prepared to clean after you've moved out, for the going rate for teens which would be much less than professionals (not sure how old your kids are, or if there are kids in the street who would like to earn some pocket money.

By putting a different subject onto each page, it means you simply flip to the correct page whenever you think about that subject and make a few more notes, or keep records of what phone companies or electricity companies you might want to switch to, or notes of phone conversations.

One page would be a list of everyone that needs to be notified of your change of address. You get that list from every envelope that crosses your front door in the next 2 months. Plus all bills paid online automatically.

Another few pages could be related to different houses you apply for, or different real estate agents that you talk to.

Leave the front two or three pages blank...then use them for very important information, as it comes up later on. You'll appreciate when it happens, but not before.

As for packing, you can buy packing boxes from most storage places and most removalists. Second hand cartons are usually half price...and will usually do the job just as well, but may be written all over, which you might not like.

Try to use the same brand for all your boxes. They generally stack much better if they are the same brand. Three sizes: 1. book boxes are small and are used for heavy items, including books, wine and food. 2. Larger boxes for everything else. If you or a female adult can't lift the corner of a box, it's too heavy, so use two smaller book boxes. Or take out the top few layers and replace with fluffy toys or cushions or bedding. 3. wardrobe boxes. You can use them if you like, but i find they usually fall apart during transit, and all the clothes land on top of the shoes at the bottom.

You can buy a roll of the old white butchers paper/packing paper. I start by lining the glassware and crockery boxes with towels. Then I wrap everything in items from my linen press. Stack them so tight that nothing moves as you try to twist or jiggle the box. If you hear a clink, or see anything moving, something will break during transit.

Once I run out of linen press, then i use the white butchers paper. I always layer my packing with a piece of paper laid between each layer, and sometimes I will wrap a bundle together, then stack the bundles inside the box. All extra security against stuff breaking.

I always start packing at least 2-3 weeks before moving. Start with the boxes you will open last. Use masking tape or similar wide tape, along the length of the box, along middle join of the lids and down those sides about 4 inches, and also twice across the box and down perhaps 2 inches. That should be all you need, top and bottom of the boxes, unless they are damaged.

I used to label directly onto boxes. Now i write the label on at least 2 or 3 sides, only on the tape that comes down the side of the box a short distance. That way you can find a specific box in a stack of 4-6 boxes high, 2 or 3 rows deep, 2 weeks after you move. Also label on top, again on the tape, not on the box. I always label for the room that they are going into, not the room they are coming out of (then when I get to the house, label the rooms with tape so strangers can get things into the correct rooms. If they are going into the 3rd bedroom until you can sort it out later, then that's where you write for it to go. Also write a simple summary of what's in each box. You won't remember otherwise. e.g. Bed 3. Children's books. or Bed 1. My winter clothes.

By the day before moving, everything should be packed away in boxes and all cupboards in the house should be empty, except for breakfast food and lunch/dinner for 2 or 3 days. Also keep out the kettle, tea, coffee, enough saucepans, glasses, cutlery and plates (or a picnic set) to use for up to a week or 2 (there's always something that gets lost in a box that doesn't get opened for 2 weeks!)

The other thing that gets left until the last minute is to pack a suitcase per person with all the clothes they will need for a week. Because it's in a suitcase, it's harder to lose in the move. Label if you want to...may not be needed.

Now, EVERYTHING that doesn't get packed until the last day gets their boxes labelled in RED for urgent or GREEN for the non-urgent stuff but that you will need in the first month there. Red labels stick out, so you don't have to go a week without your cup of tea because you can't find the teaspoons or the sugar. Or you lose your undies! All red labelled boxes will probably be unpacked by lunch time the following day, but most will at least be opened that first night. Oh, and make sure you have a torch and toilet paper in the reddest of the red boxes.

If you lay a dressing gown on the bed, you can pull coat hangers out of the wardrobe and lay them inside the dressing gown, then do up the buttons, tie it closed at the waist, whatever. All of your important wardrobe stays together, doesn't get crushed and is easily unpacked at the other end. Boom boom.

Bedding: sort of make your bed but don't tuck anything in. Leave the pillows and PJs on top of the bottom sheet, where they normally would go. Now pull out the bottom sheet from the top of the bed and fold down over the pillows. Now roll it over again, so it's now sort of a wide strip of bedding, across the middle of the bed. Now pull out the bottom of the bottom sheet and fold it up by the same amount as you did at the top of the bed. Then roll it over again...perhaps twice, so it ends up on top of the top half of the bedding and you have one line of bedding across the bed. Fold the ends into the middle, perhaps with one or two folds from each side, depending on how thick your bedding is.

That makes a nice pile of bedding in one bundle in the middle of the bed. You can tape it up, or just have someone carry it to your car as, or put it inside a large bin liner. When you get to your new house, lay it across the bed and reverse the procedure, making sure you unroll the top of the sheets to the top of the bed.

Learning that trick has saved me hours of endlessly making beds at the end of the day when i am beyond being physically exhausted.

By the way, if beds don't get assembled that night, just lay the mattresses on the floor and sleep there. Assembling beds can take hours of hard work. If you have someone do it for you, great, but if you don't, leave it for a few days. The kids will feel like they are 'camping'.

Since you've done all of your packing except for the last minute toiletries and food on the day before moving, once you've done those (oh, and emptied the fridge into those cold food shopping bags or those white foam cold food boxes from the fruiterer), you can start cleaning...the toilet and bathroom first, then go behind the removers, only cleaning a room after they've emptied it. Sweep the dust off the walls first, then the floor, then vacuum. Then shut the door!

Hopefully you will have had the time/energy to clean most of the windows in the next few weeks...long before you move.

As for agents trying to keep your bond. I rented privately once, and he was a great landlord until we moved out. I washed the external doors and fly screens with a hose to get all the dust off...but apparently the last of the water still had tiny amounts of dust in it, leaving barely visible dust marks in the tracks under the sliding doors. I was very cranky with him, having to go back with a tissue to wipe up that dust. I could barely see it, and it certainly wasn't worth him withholding 4 weeks rent/bond.

So, you can do this. You've got the weekend to get over the huge shock you've just had. Settle back, feet up, and start writing ideas and thoughts into your book.

Also write up a calendar for the next two months...roughly, and as things start falling into place, write them into the calendar. This book will live with you until you move. It will follow you everywhere, and it will stop you worrying about things. Write everything down so it doesn't get forgotten, and also so you don't have to try to keep remembering it. It's safe in your book, and you will find it again. No stress!

Moving is one of the most stressful things you can do, especially when you've got children and a body that doesn't like stress. But getting yourself organised, very early, even before you find somewhere to go, will help you cope with so much happening. You can do it.

Best wishes.

[englishmumof2 in reply to VivienneWaterworth]

Thank you Vivienne I needed you when we moved to and from NY.... brilliant suggestions. ... can't wait for kids to go back to school.... less mess.... less noise.... hugs xxx

[VivienneWaterworth in reply to englishmumof2]

I think you can tell that I've moved too many times lol. I think I lost count in the mid 30s. The last two houses were 5 and 7 years, the longest I've ever stayed in one house, ever!

[nurmihusa in reply to VivienneWaterworth]

You are brilliant, Vivienne! That is the most impressive plan for moving I've ever seen. I wish I'd had it to hand when I've helped friends move. I'm copying it out and saving it for the future. It's just brilliant. I especially love your solution for packing the bedding. Wow! Thank you!

[VivienneWaterworth in reply to nurmihusa]

That one works for going on holidays too, so you all have bedding with your own smells that will hopefully drown out the unfamiliar smells of strange places.

[englishmumof2 in reply to VivienneWaterworth]

Vivienne I've just set up my moving book and bought moving boxes.... no house yet but I need to clear things out now or panic will set in ! Your tips are invaluable xx😍🤗😆

[VivienneWaterworth in reply to englishmumof2]

I'm glad to help. Since writing that, it has been shared with a local man with FND who moved this weekend (I think), and it has been shared with the FND Hope Ireland and Northern Ireland Facebook users. I also posted it to the main FND Hope Facebook group, so hopefully it will help a lot of others too.

The secret really is to just write everything down in a semi-organised way, i.e. one subject per page. You can set up the order of things in your notebook, with just headings for now, and come back later and fill it in, or wait until things start happening, but certainly the earlier you start planning, the easier moving day will be.

I forgot to ask how old your children are. If they're under a certain age, they may freak out if they see things disappearing into boxes, so packing might be best done while they are at school. Likewise, younger children can freak out when they see their furniture being carried off by big strange men. If they can go to a friend's house, that would be excellent.

[englishmumof2 in reply to VivienneWaterworth]

11 and 14, they hate this house so they are excited to move xx

[DNE92 Moderator FND Hope UK]

My heart goes out to you. Think humanity is dead among some people. Shame on them. Do you have any appeal mechanism or a lawyer prepared to do pro bono work on your behalf or some organisation.

Usual Scottish weather here.

Thinking of you.

Lou

[englishmumof2 in reply to DNE92]

Hey louyse! I will get the house perfect so I get money back ... need to go to council asap see if they can help... however I feel after talking to them that as I'm not in need of adapted accommodation they won't help... they said my sons mental health issues including 3 suicide attempts are not of there concerns.... I sometimes wonder what is there concern???? But had a good day visiting family am exhausted now need lots of sleep but eldest is sick... ugh so I'm going to rest a bit then go look after him .... one day it will be ok.... one day it will be better.... until then I need to keep on going , keep on fighting, keep on one foot in front of the other... in fact I do think maybe my illness is in my head...I do often wonder am I making up this stuff... I know I'm moaning again.... just stress... might be giving up my dog.. she's my 24hr companion on my really bad days.... she keeps me going so I leave the house , even when I'm exhausted, makes me get up, get my kids to school..... anyhow ... time to kick my own ass, stop wallowing as that won't help.... hugs love everyone here.... loosing feeling in feet... time to rest ... its all still here tomorrow.... 😍

[VivienneWaterworth in reply to englishmumof2]

I know the temptation when things all start going so bad is quite strong to blame yourself for your own limitations, but DON'T. You are not making this stuff up, even though it may often feel that way. I know from my own experience...I often think that, then I look harder at what's happening, and yep, it's not me giving me those symptoms so I can get attention. No, it's usually something else, like the weather (I don't handle low air pressure systems).

Oh, don't let your constant companion go. If you can get someone to sign something to say you need her for medical reasons (i.e. a medical companion dog), you might be allowed to keep her in your new home, when you find one.

Would it be helpful to ask your son to help you pack? It might give him something else to think about, something to make him feel valued, special. Like he's pulling his own weight in the family. Not all kids are open to those thoughts, but...?

Go take a big hug from your little friend, from me

[englishmumof2 in reply to VivienneWaterworth]

Thank you Vivienne, he's a funny kid he told me he told school he's a carer for me as I have mental health issues (his dads description of my illness) so they are treating him as such.... yet getting him to even wash is like a fight.... oh and some days the body odor is so bad 😭. When I am really bad he is good as he'll cook chicken for him and his brother.... and if in lucky he'll walk the dog 5 minutes and bring her back saying she won't walk... 😝. I'm supposed to be walking dog now but I don't have the energy, my left knee hurts and I need to do laundry! At least the weathers not too bad. It's funny because all this self pity and moaning isn't me.... I'm an out going, funny , glass half full kind of gal! But in the last year I've changed , I try to put on a front of yeah life's great but I'm not really good at it now!! But I have to remember I'm actually a lot better than most other sufferers I'm mobile, pains not too bad, I'm not on too many drugs, not had to many accidents recently, brain fog... well that's always a problem... but I've not burnt my self in the last 2 weeks so that's a plus! Right need a shower... thing is I have to figure out climbing in the bath to do it 😂. It's a lot of effort but I love my showers ... right today's plan... shower... walk dog.... laundry... trash in to big bin...find something for kids to do....probably sleep 1-6 pm ... roll in next week kids back to school so I can try and sleep my normal 10.30-2.30. Love to you all have a fabulous weekend 😍😘🐣🤗

[Hidden in reply to englishmumof2]

Hi I'm a bit behind with people's posts. I haven't had energy to get involved with the FND week and feel bad but just reading your posts

Is there a reason you can't keep your dog? PTSD soldiers coming back from overseas with mental health issues found getting a trained dog, some got their working dog helped them out if their issues such as having difficulty leaving the house , interacting with others, and just coping with life occurred. Can you get help to get your dog assigned as a helper so you can keep them? Dogs are really sensitive to the person they loves moods and illnesses and provide unconditional love especially when you are having a bad day so I hope you don't have to let it go. I have cats and one will be at my side all day sometimes and i wonder why then I have an asthma attack. She knew before I did, as she is not a clingy cat. She'd rather be jumping fences and exploring outside.

I'd really try to get the council to help you. In Scotland we have social care direct. You can call them even on the weekend although they are office hours department, they have people on at the weekend and explain all your issues and that you need help with housing and you have 2 sons who require extra help and you are unwell with little support and have to move house. The weekend people will take all the information and allocate it to a weekday case officer. They have access to different departments within your local council.

It's annoying because I found the same when I lived overseas. There are resources out there but if you are on benefits no one tells you what those resources are.

I found advocacy services recently for help filling in long winded forms as I melt at the sight of them.

I know there is a housing shortage all over the uk but wondering if you would consider applying for homeless consideration. They have levels depending on the persons situation and surely you must score high with your families needs. Also if you were in council accommodation you might feel a bit more secure rather than having a landlord.

[englishmumof2 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you Amallia, a council house would provide what I need as I wouldn't have to stress at moving each year and unsettling the boys....I'll go and see them this week but every call gets met with "your privately renting that means you have funds to do so". Thing is they don't understand it's not about money.... it's about mental and psychical needs.... and it's not just my needs it's my kids... anyhow managed shower and laundry... going to bribe kids to walk the dog as my legs are shaky today!! Xxx

[Hidden in reply to englishmumof2]

That's so frustrating that they don't get you are sick. Was just reading Malalatete'sresponse. I think you would be eligible for the highest priority homeless accommodation and the first home might not be your dream home but once you get your foot in the door, you can, when you get some time to think, relax a bit and then look for a more suitable home. There are priorities such as if you can't climb stairs and need a ground floor house you score higher, if you have falls, seizures etc but even if your husband is working they can't refuse you homeless status if you can't find another private rental. They just take rent from you. It sounds like they just don't want to help.

I'd suggest 2 options

1.If you don't find a rental close to the time you are moving go into the homeless office and state you are homeless.

2. Contact citizens advice and ask them to get you an advocate that can take some of this weight from you and help, as you are sick, you have 2 children who have needs, and the stress of not feeling secure and living with bad landlords can affect your illness.

Just the thought of packing for me is a nightmare but Vivienne seems to have it as a qualification. Wonder if she could get a certificate for that detail 😊

But I do hope the council come through. Try social work. Tell them everything, they can't ignore this. and that you can't move every few months with private landlords or deal with the stress of bad ones as we are told with FND to avoid stress and too much exercise.

[englishmumof2 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you xxx

[malalatete in reply to englishmumof2]

They are trying to fob you off. The law requires them to provide accommodation. Get Shelter on your case.

[malalatete in reply to englishmumof2]

Ask to see their homelessness team. Adapted accommodation doesn't come into it - you have a prioity need for housing (by law) because you have dependent children. If you have nowhere to go they MUST find you accommodation. Go to your local CAB or ring Shelter.

[englishmumof2 in reply to malalatete]

Thank you! Thing is we can afford to rent privately so we are not entitled to even register for housing. Which is the way it should be.... it just doesn't help me and my situation. Hopefully we'll find long term private .... it's ok I can do this , the birds are singing and kids are at school so I can go back to bed..I hope you have a better day today xxx

[malalatete in reply to englishmumof2]

The law on homelessness makes no reference to what you can afford and having money to rent does not exclude you from Council tenancies (otherwise everyone in them would be out of work and on benefits which they are not). Also Council housing lists are often the only way these days to access Housing Association properties and they certainly don't expect to house only people on benefit - I was a Trustee for 12 years of one here and we would object if the Council didn't put forward a mixture of people as it risks creating ghettoes otherwise.

Honestly, ring Shelter. Otherwise you are in line for another 6 month let. You don't need that and nor do your children and I think a Housing Association would be delighted to get you on their books.

What District/City Council area do you come under?

[englishmumof2 in reply to malalatete]

Welwyn Hatfield

[malalatete in reply to englishmumof2]

I have just read their Housing Allocations Policy welhat.gov.uk/housing/policies and it is pretty standard. There is no exclusion from the Housing Needs Register on grounds of financial circumstances so what they are telling you is that if you have the funds to exercise choice you can do so - not that you must do so. If someone starts saying that you must I would pull out a copy of their policy and read it to them.

You should get Shelter on your case and with their help make an application under Part VII of the 1996 Housing Act as homeless because you are about to be threatened with homlessness in 28 days. Send it in with statements from your GP, any EWO or SEN or similar working with your children. Ask them to ask for medical priority on your behalf on the basis that you need accommodation that is settled.

It looks like some of the Housing Associations locally in your area may not put all their vacancies into the Council pool. Ask the Council whether any take direct applications and if they do, ring them and apply direct. They cost more than Council properties but are often newer and in smaller groups.

Council housing advisors are trained to politely send people off into the arms of the estate agents. This really is an area where only those who know how to 'work the system' - that is to ignore the fob-offs and stand their ground - or those who really have no option at all get through to settled Council accommodation. But that just creates poorly balanced communities that are a nightmare to manage in the longterm. It is a totally insane policy and practice.

Fight against it - you aren't asking for anything more than what you are legally entitled to and you if you were able to bid for a property from their Band B - homeless families - I would imagine you would have a good chance.

[englishmumof2 in reply to malalatete]

Thank you Malalatete xxxx

[englishmumof2 in reply to malalatete]

I've left messages for CAMHS, GP and school to call me! Feeling very sick and shaky !