Newly diagnosed

[Majaz]

Just diagnosed with fybromylagia. Working my notice period, have 3 weeks remainin. Husband decided I'm too broken for him.

Not sure where to start dealing with it. Any advice would be very appreciated.

[lou1065]

I really feel for you, you will find us a supportive bunch here, cannot understand your husbands attitude to your illness none of us would choose this. all best wishes. Lou xx

[Vinchento]

Hi, Oh I am sorry you are not getting the support you need, I was also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and currently trying different ways to help me cope with it. It is an awful illness, support and understanding is needed. Don't feel alone with it so many of us out there who have this so we can support each other.

I work full time which I find really hard I tend to want to go straight home after work as I am exhausted but I know a visit to the swimming baths helps me, its hard putting clothes on let alone taking them off but once I am in the water its like a restbite from the pain, I never want to get out. Hydrotherapy works well too. it is difficult making the effort but worth it if you can try.

My very best wishes to you.

xxx

[joannie1964]

Hi Majaz, firstly I'm so sorry about your diagnosis and about leaving your job. Can you explain about your husband? surely he's not abandoning you? You will get great support on here, also check out Fibroaction website and because your income will be reduced you may be able to claim some benefits like ESa. Best website for this is Work and benefits. Membership costs £20 a year but its written by experts and has helped so many people with applications and has a great success rate. please do let us know how you get on. Big hugs

Jo x

[fibrofran]

I'm sure I speak for everyone on here when I say we understand and feel your pain, your suffering and confusion. Iv been living with fibromyalgia and ME for 4 years now and it's not easy. Being only 25 having a young son and my whole life ahead of me, I did not know where to turn. My advice is to not give up. You will come across ignorance, but their are Dr's and people out their who can help. Don't let them brush you aside now you have a diagnosis, get all the help you can. If the medication doesn't work try a different one. Not all of us are the same. When I was diagnosed I was stubborn, I would not let this illness dictate what I could and couldn't do. I stayed in work doing 36 hour shifts supporting people with mental health, and then on the wards as a mental health nurse. I tried to keep my family away from this illness protecting them at all cost, it was hard my partner couldn't understand why I would be so tired but couldn't sleep or why he couldn't hug me because of the pain. Anxiety crippled me but I didn't listen to my body, and that was the worst thing I could of done. I now cannot work, I am on morphine as well as god knows what else. I crashed, I crashed hard and it has effected my whole family because I didn't listen to my body. Be active when u can but stop when and rest when you need to. Pushing through will make it worse.

People will question you, because it's hard to understand something you cannot see how can you believe something that is not in front of you, we have chronic pain. But no wound, we are exhausted yet we cannot sleep. Don't let the ignorance shape who you are, don't let the arrogant questions doubt yourself. You ARE ill, but you will find a way to cope. Patients is the key. I wish u all the luck. xxxx

[rosewine]

So sorry to read your post Majaz it is bad enough being diagnosed with fibro without having to give up your job and the problems with your husband.

As others have said it is a lovely supportive forum here and we will try and answer any questions and give support as and when you need it so you are not alone.

As Jo has said our mother site FibroAction has alot of useful information and I can second the Benefit and Work site as being excellent value for money I could not have honestly helped my OH win his Tribunal about his ESA without their guide, it was the best money I have ever spent. The CAB can also be very helpful to put you in the right direction about benefits, etc.

I don;t know how long you have been having these symptoms and am just wondering whether your husband might just be in a state of shock with your diagnosis and you losing your job I just hope so.

Alot of dealing with fibro is about pacing yourself and you will eventually learn how to listen to your body. If you can gentle exercise does help keep you supple. Do try to eat a good diet and get good rest.

I don;t know what meds you are on but as others have said it is a bit of a trial and error. If they aren't working for you try to get a referral to a Pain Clinic as they might be able to help with advice on meds, treatments, etc as not every doctor is fully equipped with the knowledge of how to treat fibro.

Please come on the site whenever you need to ask a question or need support as there is usually someone around. For the moment soft hugs coming your way.xxx

[BlueMermaid3]

Hello Majaz

Welcome to our lovely, kind, compassionate forum.

I can't really add anything that hasn't already been said except to say if you are having any trouble navigating your way around the site give me a shout and I'll do my best to help you.

I've had Fibro for 34 years, so with me (like quite a few of us on the forum) I've been there, done that and got the t shirt! What I'm trying to say is I've had quite a lot of experience which I'm happy to share with anyone I can if it is going to help.

I worked full time and raised two children right up to 2 years ago, when due to a massive trauma I had to give up work.

There is usually someone around all the time so if, in the middle of the night you need someone to chat to don't hesitate to post.

Sending you a gentle hug to keep you going. Keep us posted how you are.

Lu xx

[Majaz]

Thank you all for encouraging and supportive words. I have only been diagnosed last week, I have suspected it for a while and have researched and learned a lot about fybromylagia and have determination and will to deal with it in a right from the start. Big massive knockdown was my husbands attitude towards it. I was reallying on his support, which he has strongly rejected from day one. I will be dealing with this without him and any moral support and/or tips are more than appreciated. My main worry is that , even though I can manage to deal with the constant pain, I can not focus and have become forgetfull. Reason why I can not continue in my current job role as an Apprenticeship Assessor. Where I was relying on my husbands financial support to retrain and find new job, currently I do not have this commodity anymore and have to continue to work. I am not taking easy the act that I might have to depend on benefits, but I would like to be prepared and know what to do if it does come to that.

I thank you all for your kind words and encouragement.

[BlueMermaid3 in reply to Majaz]

Hi again

Your best bet is to get an appointment to see someone at the CAB. They are able to run a benefits check for you and will let you know what you would be entitled to in a worst case scenario.

I worked hard all my life and I absolutely hate the fact that I now have to rely on benefits, so you are not alone.

Has your husband said that he is leaving you? It's so sad. Marriage is supposed to be for better or for worse.

Do you have family nearby and a good support network around you?

We are all here for each other on this forum and hugs are always available.

I'm sending a special one for you.

Lu xx

[TheAuthor]

Welcome to the forum and it is wonderful to make your acquaintance. I have read your post with so much pain and sorrow for what you are having to endure, and I sincerely hope that you can find some resolution and relief to these issues. I cannot begin to imagine what you are going through emotionally but I want to genuinely wish you all the best of luck.

All my hopes and dreams for you

Ken

[Hollytree]

Hello Majaz,

It is certainly a traumatic time for you. It is bad enough coping with the Fibro if one has the support of friends and family . Giving up the job also feels like such a defeat but it isn't. I hated having to give up my job which I loved, but I knew I couldn't continue and it was certainly easier to manage once I had given up. Hope it will be for you too.

It's a case of one problem at a time, one day at a time. There will be good days and bad days. Even on the bad days, you know they will end and you may have a good day tomorrow. Try and find pleasure and joy in little things.

There are so many people on the forum and they all seem to have different symptoms and different ways of coping. I try and get out as much as possible. It makes me feel better and to meet with friends or do things takes your mind off the Fibro.

Good luck.