Why does life have to be so fine tuned to where only certain people give you the time of day. Why is there so many fake and wanna be people

[loyalT]

[jillylin]

Hi,

wish I had the answers for you but sadly I don't. Just remind yourself there are still good people about, even if we are not lucky enough to meet them.

Gentle hugs

Jillyxx

[loyalT in reply to jillylin]

Jillylin,

Hello friend, thank you for the reply that you left me in regards to my question. But your reply brings me to another question. Even if we are not lucky enough to meet them???? Honey, what does this mean. I want to meet everyone i talk to , online. At least once. Is this statement so true that maybe the one i love will never meet me.

[jillylin in reply to loyalT]

Hi,

I believe that the right people do come into our lives when we need them. Sometimes they may not appear as friends. Some come to help and support us, others bring us information and yet others teach us lessons. Fortunately the good people outweigh the others.

Gentle hugs

Jillyxx

[loyalT in reply to jillylin]

Thank you Jillylin, I appreciate your comment and taking to time to reply.

[hamble99b]

I agree with jillylin, there are good people about. it's just that some others can be louder and attention seeking.

[loyalT in reply to hamble99b]

Thank you for you feedback hamble99b. I need to learn to talk more and take initiative more.

[TheAuthor]

Hi loyalT

I sincerely hope that you are feeling as well as you possibly can be today? Welcome to the forum and it is wonderful to make your acquaintance.

I have a completely different perspective on life! I believe from the very bottom of my soul that we, as homo-sapiens are one people, with the same goals, dreams, aspirations and loves in our lives. When we are children the most important words in the world are mum and dad. When we grow older our hormones and instincts help us find the right person, and fall in love and have our own families, and then we are mum and dad, and so the circle is complete.

As a part of the work that I use to do a long time ago, I had the opportunity to look into the eyes and talk to people who were alone. I do not mean for the afternoon or they didn't have any brothers or sisters, I mean completely alone in this world, and they had the same needs and wants as those I have already mentioned; and it manifested itself in their eyes? An overpowering sadness and pain that I could never hope to alleviate, but I tried, not because it was my job, but because they were no different to me, except in the hand that fate had dealt them, and nothing more.

I think what I am trying to say is this, a stranger is a friend who you haven't met!

All my hopes and dreams for you

Ken

[loyalT in reply to TheAuthor]

Ken, why do your words have to hit the nail on the head so well with being alone. You dont even know me and if you looked into my eyes, you would probably see right through me and my pain with being alone. I hate it and try to cope but not always in the best ways. i am so confused and sad. Please, any advice would be helpful. thank you

[TheAuthor in reply to loyalT]

Hi loyalT

I am so sorry to read that your loneliness and pain are overwhelming you in this way, and I genuinely hope that in time, you will find resolution and relief to this problem. I would always say to somebody in your position that life is sacrosanct, and should never be lived in isolation to others. You have the power inside yourself to reach out to others and seek new friendships, new relationships and new meaning!

If you were to join a club or a group of like-minded people who are feeling isolated and alone, then you will have common ground and a frame of reference to not simply to coexist with them but to reach out and share, and then you will all learn from each other. There are so many groups like this out there, and there will be one closer to where you live than you realise. Try looking on the internet or in your local library, and you will be truly amazed how many people out there, are feeling just like you?

I want to wish you all the best of luck with finding friends and enjoying your life again.

Ken

[loyalT in reply to TheAuthor]

Ken,

i have to reply with only thanks in my heart. You are absolutely correct about i need to reach out and try to make friends. I have not always really been the social type or the type to have alot of friends. I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve and it has gained me nothing but pain and loneliness. I will try what you say. and Thank you again Ken, Your words meant alot to me and there is nothing like some good advice.

Thanks Again Friend,

Todd

[Hidden]

Hi loyalT

I agree with what the others have all said not because I'm a sheep that follows the rest of the herd but because we are brought up to respect everyone no matter what.

I'm guessing your profile name tells us a lot about you when put with this question you ask, as I, personally, assume you have been hurt by someone special, somehow, who broke the vows of loyalty?? Apologies if I'm wrong, I do say I'm assuming

A stranger in the park who looks like a wannabe and acts like wannabe could save your life one day, you just never know these things. In my experience people who try hard to copy a famous person are usually self conscious and afraid underneath the glamour and glitz of it all and probably in as much pain as you or I so we shouldn't be so sharp to judge a book by it's cover because what's underneath is often fragile and afraid of life.

With regard to the other side of the coin to your question regarding people who are fake I agree and get where you are coming from I call them 'pretending people' and wrote a poem 20 years ago expressing it.

I can rake it out for you if you wish?

I was surrounded by friends who didn't know how to be themselves and they were all trying to be something they weren't and always better than me regardless of anything. I was deep into depression when I wrote the poem as a means to get what I felt off my chest.

Always trying to impress the next guy instead of being themselves and not seeing that what they had was good enough.............. they'd stab you in the back in an instant given the chance................. and they did!! No-one believed I was in pain and spread the word about that I was faking it just to get sickness benefit, I was in my early twenties and devastated by it all, which was what sunk me into depression and then the poem!! I was left alone not knowing who to trust.

In a nutshell.......... the fakers - pretending people - accused me of being a faker! ironic really!!

I do hope that you find resolve to your mental anguish and I hope you don't mind but I would like to point you in the direction of Action on Depression, or Anxiety Support where you would be better advised about dealing with emotions.

It's ok to be cross with life and people, or even yourself, but how long for?

I wish you wellness and resolve to your isssues loyalT

Fluffies and smiles for you

xxxsianxxx

[loyalT in reply to Hidden]

Zeb73, i am reading all these replies probably backwards and for that i am sorry but you seem like such a pure and honest heart. It sounds like we both have alot in common with certain pains. Your right about needing to impress anyone with anything. We must be ourselves, and for me its hard because i want people to like me for who i am and not who they want me to be. My life is chaos sometimes and i just want to be happy with what life throws at me.

[Hidden in reply to loyalT]

Thankyou

Sorry for taking so long to reply to you

There is nothing wrong with that

I think that some people may wish to be someone else if they don't like themselves very much and possibly envy the people who do and who are comfortable being themselves.

My motto is if they don't like me so what! I'm not going to become someone else, someone I don't want to be just so people will like me as I need my energy for other things.

I am a take me as you find me type of person I'm afraid

How are you feeling today?

Sending healing fluffies to you

xxxsianxxx

[loyalT in reply to Hidden]

Hey Zeb,

thanks for the reply, i am feeling much better today,and tell me what exactly is a fluffie lol. I am trying to be myself and am so very confused, my story is not common and most likely people think im crazy, but thats for me to decide. and all i want is to be myself and have people in my life that actually give a crap about me.

Have a good day friend,

T

[Hidden in reply to loyalT]

Ahhhhhhh!

A fluffie is a soft hug so as not to cause pressure pain as we are very tender people as in 'ouch a lot' when people hug too tightly

LOLOLOL

take care my friend

xxxsianxxx

[loyalT in reply to Hidden]

Lol, okay Zeb, thank you friend and many fluffies to you as well, i hope that you are not in alot of pain today and that your day goes well.

[loyalT in reply to Hidden]

In the vows of my name. I respect everyone equally. At least try and dont judge a book by its cover but whats on the inside. I have lost whats left of my insides only to desire a heart that i once met, but things went wrongly, not her fault, but my own. If another chance was involved then my life would maybe saved. I just took a walk in the park or rather a lake to only find my soul alone to where it started the morning. I need a particuluar woman that maybe i was blind at one point, but the light is so bright now that i dont even know what to say or even how to begin.

[Hidden]

Hi again loyalT

I forgot to say that I read on a different post that you didn't have fibromyalgia and was wondering why you asked this question here as it is a forum for fibromyalgia (FMS) sufferers to come for support and advice about fibromyalgia (FMS)? and so you're post isn't really appropriate for this forum as it's not regarding FMS.

If a post isn't about fibro we like members to point out that the post is 'off-topic' and I was wondering if you could mention this please.

Thankyou in advance

xxxsianxxx Administrator

[loyalT in reply to Hidden]

Zeb73, i appologize for my post. i didnt mean to derail the topic. I am really not sure what fibro is to be honest. I didnt mean to disrespect anyone.

[Hidden in reply to loyalT]

That's okay

We all do it!

I mentioned earlier that we just write 'off-topic' or something similar in the title.

xxx sian

[Gramma]

Whatever the reason is that you feel like this, it's obviously very real to you. I agree with you and I'm sure a lot of others do too. I have Fibromyalgia now but have had this view long before. I've had cancer, a pulmonary embolism and had a major trauma in my life, all since 2005. This view of other people is always heightened when something like that happens. I used to have many 'friends', but now just a couple of really true and loyal ones. The thing is, don't dwell on what other people are or are not, just concentrate on yourself and those loyal to you. I don't believe we should judge or form uneducated opinions, everyone has a heartache somewhere.

[loyalT in reply to Gramma]

I dont believe my opinion is uneducated or unreal, i was just making an opinion, that has me confused

[Gramma in reply to loyalT]

Sorry if you thought I meant that your opinion is uneducated, that wasn't my intention. I was speaking in general terms and not about what you had said. I was actually agreeing with you as I said.

[loyalT in reply to Gramma]

Maybe i took it wrong Gramma, i appologize. I am reading your previous reply again and i must confess, i dont have fibromylgia, I have never had cancer or anything bad that i know of. I didnt mean to disrespect you in any way if i did. I appologize. I do have pain in my back and knees. Not from any accident but only from age and hard work through the years. I am 36 and bout to turn 37 the end of this month. Dont know what im gonna do for birthday but it doesnt matter as long as i keep the little family with me that i do have left. Just another day, but another day closer to where i want to be. Thank you Gramma for replying, Maybe we can be friends.

[nokidding]

I've been on this earth for 50 years. Before Fibromyalgia, I walked over most of England, some of Wales, lived in Germany for 3 years, Paris for 3 years and Belgium for 8 years. I was into endurance horse riding, loved to dance and worked in a animal shelter where I retrained hundreds of dogs with various degrees of success! Following a bad RTA Fibro struck and the damage to my spine from the accident I can no longer horse ride or walk far. Depression set in. But life goes on, kids still need to get to school, hubby still needed his packed lunch and the dog still needed to be fed, played with and loved. Where am I going with this? It's so easy to fall into the trap of thinking that everyone around you only wants you for what they want and doesn't give a dam about you and the worst thing about Fibro etc is that they are hidden illnesses. You look perfectly normal and unless you are prepered to hang a sign around your neck, or moan 24/7 people who know you don't realise how badly your disability affects you and the people who don't know you can't tell and don't understand what's wrong with you. So my life changed drasticly. So what? My doctor doesn't understand how to treat me? So what? Yes it bugs me, yes some times I break down in tears and wish I was dead. But the flip side is that I met a fantastic bunch of people when I was out with my dog, half of them use mobility scooters to get around and they helped me get mine, so once more I can run with my dog. They are my dog walking friends. I used to be a beauty therapist and I'm part of an on line forum for beauty therapists. I've never met any of the people on that forum but over the last 12 years some of them have become my closest friends. I'm also on face book and have many friends on there who don't even live in the same country as me. We swap recipes, moan about our neighbours, all the normal stuff of life. What has all this taught me? Life is to short to sit there stressing about the things that should have been. And as for those fake friends. That's what the block it button is for. And the real life fake friends? Well you don't have to be polite. You can allways tell them exactly what you think of them and move on. It feels quite liberating and saves the cost of a Christmas card. I hope that's helped abit, or at least made you smile

[loyalT]

Thank you no kidding. im sorry it has taken so long to reply, but reading you reply i suppose you are right. I live with alot of pain and emotional distress with multiple things. I am just trying to not live in the past and get on with what life i have left with the few people in it.