lost job due to false accusation of assault arrested and released without charge i turned to drink as was humiliated ....
then my friends daughter who was killed by hit and run broke my heart and satrted a bigger downward spiral for me...
had accusations from wifes ex and was removed from my home to live on the streets for over 4 months during winter from january 2012 till end of may where i was beaten laughed at humiliated and raped on many occasions iv never told anyone that ony in my diary is it written so saying it is big big step for me but now i dont trust men i HATE them im in pain daily since was homeless thats when my stress was at all time high and satyed there ever since .......
i became suicidla while homeless and fight with that still on daily basis im coming to anextent with the fight but now my dad has got cancer last december and my mentla haleth team make me feel like i should be dead as they dont help they make me feel moreworthless than i alrady do and no i have fibromyalgia im destined for pain daily and the3 doctor who diagnosed me lied to me to my face but heard him tell y wife il never get better it will get worse over the years and il never work again due to it
hi sandra thank you ,just not had anyone talk 2 ie my mental health team keep swapping who wants deal with me they go round in circles they didnt see me for 3 months from july till september then heard they complained had made no progress really upset me as they not dealing with all this stuff am sure if 1 of the above happend to them theyd of killed themselves by now i just keep fighting but getting harder and harder now and with the fibro it just put me on ass as the paingot worse last week
Hi thank you he has put me on amitriptyline for my fibro only been takin it since saturday night not helped much if at all as last week pain been worse than ever but have ha d more stress and all the porbelms getting worse ..thank you again suforklass
Oh oryan, you have been soooo brave to come and share this with us. You really have been through more than any person should have to put up with! I can't imagine the pain! both physical and mental that you have gone through. I am also soooo proud of you, that you have had the strength to come through all you have, albeit very very hard, what you've experienced, and then come and share your life with us.
As the other have said, Fibro isn't always present, it can come and go and effect people differently and there are good medications that your GP can give you to help. It might also be useful if you could get him to refer you to a pain management team, so that at least your pain can become copeable with.
I think some of the mental health workers have undergone changes in the last couple of years, I can no longer see a CPN who I had seen every month for over 10 years.....down to funding it seems, so maybe that is impacting on the tea to j are dealing with.
I hope I don't appear rude in any way, but your self esteem seems very low, I know it is so hard to overcome but do keep coming here and we will give you all the support we can, that will, I hope give you more confidence.
hi foggy luckily my laptop next to my bed so dot have move big distance touse it just hurts touch things in genreal.it all in short soace of time i havnt dealt with the death of my daughter i know genteically im not her dad but i raised her was there for the birth and she loved me as il always love her iv not dealt with that yet im just struggling as the time goes on i fght as much as i can im a big guy but like a teddy bear i dont hurt anyone but i do fightback when i can in the past but now im just a ounchbag for bad news or bad health..thank u fggy for saying urproud of me my wife is and her son ie my stepson just hard talk my wife as she would go mad atmy mentalhealth team as they dont supportme correctly im no doctor but they know ALL issues but they ony focus on the agrophobia and netalhealth not the grief the sexually abuse when homeless or the guilt i hold on my self daily for alot of the issues .i hate my self most days just wish they would focus on 1 thing first and elimnate some of them that way as less for me to focus on as it all of thm combined itstoo much and they cant decie which team i should be under to suport me they been with me for over a year now just upsets me alot.....and they expect improvement when iv told they not helping they hindering me....
il look into a pain management team il talk my ife about it but will i have go outside as im petrified of going out side due to agrophobia..
im on medication for my mental health its onea day in morning venlalic xl 75mg
cocodamol for pain of my headaches and broken hand i sufferd when they broke my hand hen homeless
and just been put on amitriptyline 10mg once a day at night for my fibromyalga
they donthelp much but make me sleep or feel cold on them a combination of things while on them. andno ur not rude i am down alot of the time but first time in over a year feel like making new friends
thank you foggy for ur msgs and nice thoughts they are very preciated thank you x oryan
Hi there oryan, sounds like you have been thru hell, and as foggy says you are soo brave to come on here and tell all, but it is a step in the right direction, together it off your chest and share your pain can help big time, and as our fibro friends say we are all hereto listen and share your sorrows, you can in box any of us if you want to have a chat, do hope you start to feel better real soon, looking forward to reading your posts, sending you gentle healing hugs....Dee x
Hi Dee thank youim trying i really am just very hard as im down and out and now feels like im being buried alive to more pain as hard to breath on asthama alot my becotide and salbutimol all time due to nervea and panicing alot.
it is helping alot Foggy has been wonderful and now your nice msg has also made me smile thank you dee and il be here in the days maybe nights just depends on when and how due to the pain im constantly in thank you x oryan
Found really hard swallow this morning hand it few days ago but really bad this morning had coffee and just coudnt swallow without pain all over face and inside mouth
Oh organ my love I am sooooo touched by you. You have a lot of issues you need to overcome. You need to take each thing one at a time. Some things will take a lot longer to overcome, so tackle the easier ones first. First of all you need to get your physical pain in hand. Speak to your GP. I take amytriptaline. That is to help pain and sleep. Then you will need something to help ease your pain. If you can sleep and manage pain that is a massive bonus, however this may take some time to get meds sorted to your needs. Then you need to tackle your well being, as mentioned above your self esteem will improve when you start to feel better physically, you will be able to at least think a little better and to sort out what to do next. I don't think you realise just what you have already achieved by chatting to us about it. Well done to you and I take my hat off to you. One thing I have gained about using this site is that there are a lot of understanding kind hearted people waiting to help, who don't even know you. I have found them to be a tower of strength. One thing that I look forward to that makes me laugh is the 'pic of the day' the pictures posted are so funny, no matter how down you are feeling they do raise a smile. Please go and speak to your doctor. Set the ball rolling. Good luck my friend I hope things turn put good for you very soon. Take care and god bless.
hi sorry just saw msg been drinking allday as pain too much for me physically and the mental stuffff im on amytipiline 10mg not doing anything to help at all felt so down today wantedkill my self as my mental health team useless they focus on the mental stuff not the physical and thats hurting most at moment they say i be better in 3 years or so im just so lost right now being here has helped but the mental health team are failing me and nothing i can do they just tell me and change mind and iv told them for a year my symtoms and always said as i in bed all time or sat same chair never once said well look in2 it so for ayear theyve caused me more physical pain and it unbareable iv got lager crayes gona be drinkng for while iv been thinkng how worhtleass i am
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7 years ago and in still fighting the good fight 
PIP!!! Grrrrr
First ever blog - deep breath and here we go
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