Should i just give up? I am so confus... - Fertility Network UK

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Should i just give up? I am so confused about what to try next. My head is a total mess and feel like i cant go on today.

Cuppppatea profile image
32 Replies

So stuck with deciding what to do. Should I try mild ivf ? Or go with a normal clinic? I don’t feel like my two previous rounds give me much of a clue based on their results. The nhs consultant said he would use the same protocol again in our follow up. But he also suggested moving to donor eggs ...

My head is a total mess and feel like i cant go on today. I'm an ex smoker and have been dipping back in the past few weeks and craving to smoke now even though I know its the worst thing I can do.

Just 40 years old previous two rounds:

Round One; 3 eggs two fertilised day 5 - one 4 cell and one 8 cell. nothing to freeze (no fresh transfer due to cyst and high progesterone)

round 2: 4 eggs only one fertilised normally - (calcium ionophore was used) one blastocyst transferred. Sadly failed

I am having consultations so far with crgh and create. I am looking at either mild ivf (embryo banking) or a three cycle programme via access fertility if I’m eligible. I think both consultants I speak to will want me to take their protocol and believe its the best.

Obviously Create do mild ivf and i was considering embryo banking…However as I’ve had nothing to freeze before I wondered if this will be viable ….

I also worry that if I choose crgh I will run out of time while I’m transferring each embryo from each cycle. I wonder what will get better results …. Could I try one with create first ?! If I do that I’m not likely to get funding with access fertility.

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Cuppppatea
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32 Replies
Skittles11 profile image
Skittles11

I can relate to the total confusion and not knowing what to do or where to turn. Unfortunately I don't think anyone can tell you which way to go but what I have found useful in the past is listening to my gut feelings and also taking pen to paper and writing down pros and cons of each option. Also a discussion with your other half maybe even with a counsellor as a third party if that could be helpful.

Perhaps in speaking to the consultants at those clinics you mentioned you also felt more connection with one more than the other. This can also be a helpful guide x

Cuppppatea profile image
Cuppppatea in reply toSkittles11

Thanks for your reply. My husband pointed out that just the dna frag tests and the consultations I want to do will be nearly a grand 🙁 makes me wonder am I stupid for doing this

Twiglet2 profile image
Twiglet2

agree with skittles great that you have a few consultations and tests lined up and you can weigh up the pros and cons of each after that- the only thing I would add is that it really doesn’t take much ‘extra’ time to transfer the embryo after each round in fact for me it saves time doing a fresh transfer rather waiting for another month later down the line to do a frozen. You literally have your answer 10 days later. If you then got some to freeze too you could decide to do more egg collections before transferring those but if possible I would always do at least a fresh transfer from an egg collection as my philosophy is one in the hand is worth 2 in the bush 🤗 xx

Katsi profile image
Katsi

Please keep failth! I would definitely change the clinic or embryologist.. I have low AMH so for me mild IVF gave the same or higher number of embryos vs high med standard ivf. My partner had a high dna fragmentation and he went through a course of vitamins and supplements for 3 months. It also worked better for us with frozen sperm. They used some add ons for sperm selection but I cannot say if it made a difference. But frozen sperm definitely worked better for us.

Cuppppatea profile image
Cuppppatea in reply toKatsi

I do wonder about having a better embryologist for sure… x

Cuppppatea profile image
Cuppppatea in reply toKatsi

Can I ask what your 'mild' protocol entails please? I have just had a CRGH consultaation which describes the protocol as mild but the dose is 400 every other day plus clomid (not MILD!)

Katsi profile image
Katsi in reply toCuppppatea

For me it was Clomid or femara with 75 IU of menopur or 87.5 IU Pergoveris daily… but its was in 2020.. but the doctor knows best your situation..

Spicycurry profile image
Spicycurry

You can go only do Access Fertility packages if you are not banking embryos and you do not have biological children already from either yourself or husband/partner. I think that is the condition. I used Access Fertility at 38 and did a 3 cycle non-refund package and it worked on second cycle.

I would say IMSI is better than icsi as well. I took most supplements from Rebecca Fett’s book It Starts with the egg. I avoided Dhea at 38 and also high vitamin e and melatonin.

My husband was on all the supplements though. I also added lycopene as he hates tomatoes.

Cuppppatea profile image
Cuppppatea in reply toSpicycurry

I also took all these for my second cycle. I did take dhea from October - December -(25mg) I stopped taking them when my period was late and I had stomach pains. Think it was a bad idea. Think I had a very early miscarriage. I struggle with knowing what to do supplement wise when also ttc naturally. Husband also on the ‘action plan for sperm quality’ from the book. Were you with crgh ? How come you did the non refund pckage. Thanks for your reply as ever ❤️

Spicycurry profile image
Spicycurry in reply toCuppppatea

Yes I was. We did IVF due to male factor (husband having lower morphology). However, his driving job affected his morphology so we really worked on his diet and supplements. CRGH used IMSI and also assisted hatching. I tried again at nearly 40.5 years old and that was a good cycle for second child but I had a miscarriage last year. Did not test embryos as used to not have many blastocysts but when husband was on supplements for longer his morphology really improved. However, covid did affect our fertility after that.

It’s difficult. I can recommend the embryologists at CRGH. Assisted hatching is for women over 38. I would be weary of Create as I have heard they don’t do so much blood testing. CRGH are good at blood testing to check levels. Nothing is left to chance.

Cuppppatea profile image
Cuppppatea in reply toSpicycurry

This is so useful thank you

Cuppppatea profile image
Cuppppatea in reply toCuppppatea

I’m sorry to hear about your miscarriage too 😞

Spicycurry profile image
Spicycurry in reply toCuppppatea

I did the 3 cycle package with Access Fertility at 38. My levels at that time were very good. My amh was just over 16. My fsh was 4.9. I had no previous children and neither did my husband.

Cuppppatea profile image
Cuppppatea in reply toSpicycurry

They were good levels ! I’m dealing with amh 3 and fsh 11.9 ( i whooped today when my amh was recorded as 3 but pretty sure it’s half that) 😞

Spicycurry profile image
Spicycurry in reply toCuppppatea

Is that in American measurement? 11.9 is good for fsh. If vitamin D is low, your amh will be lower. I’m wondering if you need a vitamin D blood test. Also was amh tested on nhs? I had my amh tested on nhs but my vitamin d was low and I had no internal scan. It nearly doubled when I took more vitamin D and also had acupuncture twice a week. But I think it was low vitamin d and inaccurate blood test with nhs. It was more thorough at CRGH.

Cuppppatea profile image
Cuppppatea in reply toSpicycurry

No not American why ? I’ve just had a vit d test with the dr 😊 t results back next week. I was doing acupuncture weekly but I’ve had a break since my failed transfer …going to start back up again. Wheatgrass am doing. Did your consultants ever mention dhea ? I feel like it did bad things last time. I’ve just had levels tested of that too so all will help I hope x

Spicycurry profile image
Spicycurry in reply toCuppppatea

My consultant told me to avoid it when I was 38. But when I was returning for second child at 40, he was advocating Dhea but left it up to me. Initially, it was too much but lately at nearly 43 it doesn’t affect me. Wheatgrass is good but I learnt that not to take it with stims. I kept taking ubiquinol 200mgx3 with stims.

When you had amh test, was it at CRGH? Also did you have antral follicle count measured as that should line up with amh. My test done with nhs was so inaccurate and much better with CRGH.

Also, with Access Fertility I did 3 cycle 50% refund package but used it at 38 and did not need 3rd cycle luckily. Did you say you’re nearly 40? If so, you would need to find out how quickly you could use it. There are pros and cons to batching but batching did not do me favours. I would say though it can take a few months to improve sperm quality. My husband did acupuncture with me when we were trying for first but don’t think it did much. You need an acupuncturist who specialises in Fertility. I can’t afford it anymore and preparing for my frozen transfer with embryos I created at 40. It was my only good cycle at that age and it seemed better than what I achieved at 38 but I did have a missed miscarriage last August with one of those embryos from my cycle at 40. I had 7 day 5 blastocysts which was a really I high number for me. I transferred two as very small risk of twins after 37. I have 5 day 5 blastocysts left frozen. Did not test as always had lower number of blastocysts but my husband was taking supplements for longer. I really believed dropping alcohol, reducing sugar intake, reducing caffeine and increasing fish, white meat, fruit and vegetables helped. Lycopene was also added and also wheatgrass as well as those from It starts with egg and Wellman’s vitamins for him. I have also read garlic tablets are very good for men’s Fertility as well as DHA.

Cuppppatea profile image
Cuppppatea in reply toSpicycurry

why stop wheatgrass during stims? X

Spicycurry profile image
Spicycurry in reply toCuppppatea

I took it during stims and it slowed down my response once. Also there’s so much that interacts with meriofert or fostimon.

Cuppppatea profile image
Cuppppatea in reply toSpicycurry

Omg pretty sure I was drinking this on both cycles

Spicycurry profile image
Spicycurry in reply toCuppppatea

Wheatgrass? Do you have the powder form? It’s excellent for sperm health so your husband/partner could keep taking it. Ubiquinol 200mg x3 times a day can be taken during stims. Also, flaxseeds are good to have eg in porridge during stims. They are supposed to be good for ovarian function and whole milk is the best to drink. I don’t take flaxseeds when taking hrt as some say it can interact but flaxseeds are fine when taking stims. NAC is another good one for taking during stims but needs to be stopped before blood thinners. NAC is an antioxidant but it can increase fsh so good for stims.

Cuppppatea profile image
Cuppppatea in reply toSpicycurry

Yes powder form. I put it in a smoothy with banana and spirulina.

Spicycurry profile image
Spicycurry in reply toCuppppatea

Also wheatgrass should not be taken when you have a transfer. Wheatgrass is good for lowering fsh. Your consultant might suggest oestrogen priming anyway because if fsh is above 10 oestrogen priming would maximise number of follicles available for even growth.

Spicycurry profile image
Spicycurry in reply toCuppppatea

If you take wheatgrass, omega 3, Dhea, ubiquinol and vitamin d, this will help with fsh and egg quality to some extent.

Spicycurry profile image
Spicycurry in reply toCuppppatea

I’ve never been able to conceive naturally so that’s a plus. I found out later on I had low nk cells in my endometrium. I had treatment for that. A game changer for me at 38 I think was hgh growth hormone. As you are nearly 40, I would ask for it. If you do 3 cycle package and fsh is ok, I would not leave big gaps between things. If you can, acupuncture be relaxing. Also, do a blood test for vitamin d. I took 1000iu x3 times a day this time around. I also take ubiquinol 200mgx3 times a day. Omega 3 strong is also good.

Spicycurry profile image
Spicycurry

Have you got embryos from the nhs?

Cuppppatea profile image
Cuppppatea in reply toSpicycurry

Nope x

Spicycurry profile image
Spicycurry

You could opt for PGS testing with Access Fertility. That way it only focuses on those which are tested if that’s what you want to do. At 39-40, you can choose to transfer two blastocysts.

Cuppppatea profile image
Cuppppatea

I wonder about pgta testing as I’ve read it can discount viable embryos mistakenly later in age? If numbers are small I might be tempted to transfer anyway x

Spicycurry profile image
Spicycurry in reply toCuppppatea

Well you could decide at day 3 or day 4. Does CRGH say about fragmentation dna test? Which consultant did you see? You don’t have to tell me.

Cuppppatea profile image
Cuppppatea in reply toSpicycurry

I haven’t seen one yet - been assigned dr saab. I don’t have the frag results until after my appointment so I’m wondering if to push it back a week x

Spicycurry profile image
Spicycurry

He’s good and thorough. There are two Dr Saab consultants. One is very young. Both are good.

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