Hello fellow warriors,
I needed to post in a safe space and with people who understand. I'm feeling so angry at the world today. I really want ivf to work but some days it feels so hopeless and I'm so tired of hearing other people's baby news, especially when they already have a child and had no issues conceiving. And mother's day feels like the heaviest weight too.
I'm awaiting my period to start before I can do my fifth fet cycle and have had so much loss already.
Thanks for listening. Xx
Hi, I totally understand you, I'm feeling exactly the same today, just think it's so unfair how people who don't try get "lucky" and the ones trying so hard end up so unlucky.
Thanks for your message Always_hope_andpray . So sorry you're feeling the same way too. It sucks!! Sending you hugs and baby dust x
I feel the same! This journey is exhausting and filled with lows. Sometimes I think of just accepting the fact I won’t have children but then in the next moment I think I can’t possibly quit!
Women that conceive easily have no idea how truly blessed they are. Sending lots of love x
Same! Sometimes I think I should surrender and accept that it might not happen but I can't, my mind won't allow it. I don't know what else to do, Ive tried fertility massages, herbal remedies, acupuncture, IVF. Cutting toxins, eating better. What else do I do! Meanwhile I go to work and hear from a colleague "we wasn't planning on getting pregnant soo soon, it just happened". I don't want to turn into a envious bitter person.
Hi RedFox23 , thanks for your message. Sorry you're feeling the same. I totally understand that feeling of giving up and then immediately thinking no I can't do that. Sometimes I wish we'd gone straight to adoption. It's all so hard and really affects all aspects of life. Sending you so much baby dust and love x
Sending love and hugs Citizenerased83 I can completely relate 💜
Thanks so much Aquaharmony Sending love, hugs and baby dust your way. I really hope you get your miracle soon. X
I have been on this journey for a while now. I get frustrated and angry and upset as I see people around me getting pregnant by accident, having babies and they start growing up and I haven’t even started. I remember being in a class and someone sharing in the group she accidentally got pregnant and to make sure you use protection as you don’t want an accidental baby with everyone laughing hilariously, meanwhile I’d just had a miscarriage a month before. I had someone tell me the other day I just need to manifest it… yes thank you for that wonderful advice I must tell everyone so we no longer need fertility clinics that manifesting a pregnancy will make all our dreams come true! It’s hard because people that haven’t had issues don’t understand how hurtful it is to tell someone you’re not thinking hard enough! I also am feeling frustrated today. Some days are harder than others.
Manifesting?!!This made me laugh out loud! Simply because the other thing people say is be positive as if that’s all you need to conceive as if my mind (lack of positivity) is why we can’t even get close! GRRR!!! Tried all the regular mainstream methods of IVF and all the frills. Going to try this manifesting…. Best of luck ladies.. we will get through the weekend…
My other "favourite" advice from those who should keep their mouth shut is just have more s£x. Like we don't know how babies are made. Honestly only ppl who have been on the journey will truly understand the mental and physical load. The others I'm trying to avoid talking to for the sake of my mental health.
I got the manifesting advice too and daily texts to remind me to do the manifesting. Well I manifested myself into OHSS and no transfer. 🙃
It’s so good to be able to laugh at this! Thank you. The credit card could do with a break from IVF, maybe I should have taken the advice more seriously… I’ll try next cycle. 🤣
Hi Someonehere1 so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. Leaves the deepest scar on your heart doesn't it. Sending you hugs. Aargh - manifesting. Someone said that to me too once. Made me so cross. They clearly don't understand biology!
Some days really are so much harder than others. I just felt angry at friends who had their babies easily yesterday. Not fair at all. I really hope we all get our miracle soon. Xx
I feel you , going into 9th fet cycle and not sure with wat hope it will work . Sometimes I feel like I’m doing it for the sake of doing
Sending so much good luck to you. I really hope it works for you. I completely understand that feeling of doing it for the sake of it. I always think, if I looked back in 10 years time, would I regret that I had not continued. It's the only thing that helps me decide next steps. Xx
Thank you . Good luck to you too
Thanks so much!
Although it’s not nice for any of us, it’s so nice to know I’m not the only one feeling down and fed up today.
I had a phone call first thing this morning to advise that my cousin had a baby girl… the pregnancy she announced the day I got my BFP that ended in an ectopic. Even though I feel like I’m doing well right now it felt like someone had just hit me in the stomach and I immediately felt a huge amount of sadness.
It does feel like I’m living a nightmare and I don’t know if it will ever end.
Sending you lots of positivity and baby dust, it’s so hard to talk to people when they don’t understand or have never been in this position xx
I'm so sorry lovely - pregnancy loss is so horrific. It's so hard and completely get that feeling of being hit in the stomach and living a nightmare.
Thank you for the good wishes. Sending you many back and hope it works out for you.
It really is hard as you say as so many people don't understand. Xx
I can relate, I’ve been there and it hurts. I’m on my second cycle now and currently doing stims getting ready for egg collection Monday fingers crossed. But some of my previous posts have been about my cousin getting pregnant then another one about friends too, it’s devastating and it feels like someone punching you over and over in the stomach. People try give you advise too like oh relax and don’t think about it and it will happen, and your just like yeah nice one thanks for info I must tell everyone that it is so easy! You just feel like telling everyone to F off. You have come to the right place where everyone understands you.
Don’t give up, you are strong enough and I send all the positive vibes your way. Good luck ❤️
Thank you so much! Good luck for Monday. I'll be thinking of you and sending big positive baby vibes your way. If you feel like updating us, please do.
I agree, so much poor advice from people who don't have a clue and yes the urge to say F off is so strong at times.
Thank you lovely. Really appreciate it. Xx
Yep. It is awful. The ones at work that apologise for falling pregnant "I'm so sorry to be leaving you all while I go on maternity leave - I dont want to!" and the "we really didn't expect it to happen so soon" are my personal favourites. I've also had a rant this week at my other favourite "you have nooo idea how HARD my life is with two children. It is awful. Please feel sorry for me for successfully having the children I wanted." And - ta daaaa - "you are soooo lucky not to have to deal with young kids. I was woken up at 6am again this morning". Well... I was also awake at 6am this morning because IVF drugs make it hard to sleep, and at least when your toddler punched you in the stomach it wasn't full of injection sites. 🙄 We all have these days and Mothers Day is particularly unfair. But I just tell myself that I wouldn't wish this on anyone and it isn't their fault they don't know how it feels, and when/if I have a lucky outcome here, I know I will never, ever make someone feel the way so many people have made me feel over the last 6 years. I try to take some solace in that x
you are an extrmely strong person to deal with all this. I am sure that you will be a wonderful and strong mother. Just stick in there. We are all in it together.
Thank you, that's very kind. I don't feel particularly strong but I know I must be to be going through this alongside so many other impressive and strong ladies. 💪
So sorry to hear about your experience too WillowPark. People can be so thoughtless. I think it's the fact that empathy is missing in people's words and actions that really upset me. Even if they haven't been through it themselves, how hard is it to show empathy.
Wishing you so much luck and hope you get to become a mum very soon. Xx
Thank you - you too! It is true. Some people are just so clueless and others so wrapped up in their own world they don't hear themselves talking I think. Hope you are feeling less angry today and have some nice things planned to treat yourself over the weekend x
Thanks lovely. Just had a big cry about it all. I'm seeing my mum on Sunday but I just want to hide under my duvet. Hope you have something nice planned for the weekend too. X
My mum is away at the moment so I'm escaping it. And might be hiding under that big duvet. We have our OTD tomorrow though so the weekend may depend on the results!
Good luck for tomorrow. Hope it brings you the best news x
Thanks!
People are clueless and some can be careless with their choice of words. Last year at a family event we was having a conversation about fertility struggles and a "family" member said about herself "I'm so lucky me and my sisters are very fertile". I just thought wow , how could you say that knowing very well the struggles of infertility I am going through. I was lost for words and couldn't reply. 😭
Sending you love. I’ve been feeling the same for the last few months. Like im being punished for something. Hope you have a lovely day on Sunday and try to make it about you. Sending you luck that next Mother’s Day you will be holding a little bundle of joy xxxx
Thank you so much Chowlady14. I really appreciate your lovely words. I'm sorry you've been feeling the same and hope you also get to celebrate mother's day next year with a baby in your arms. Sending you lots of baby dust. Xxxx
Thank you for posting this message. Couldn’t have said it any better myself. Today is test day and we’ve just found out that our 6th cycle is BFN. Not sure how much more we have to give to this, but we don’t want to give up.
In my job I deal with people who struggle with addiction and they have no trouble getting pregnant. I just don’t get why I can’t, I eat clean, I cut toxins, I take my medication, I have acupuncture. What more could I possibly do.
Feeling angry and feel like giving up.
I'm so sorry about your BFN, after your 6th cycle. I've had my BFN today aswell and I feel so numb. I keep thinking where did I go wrong.
thank you. I’m sorry to hear this. Sending you lots of love. Be kind to yourself x
I'm so sorry that you had a BFN. It's so hard to deal with. Be gentle with yourself and know that you did nothing wrong. Xx
I'm so sorry BethanyDavey about your BFN. I know it hurts so much. I think if you don't want to give up just yet you should use that to guide your next steps. I hope your Dr can help too.
It must be so hard having to deal with that in your job and seeing people fall pregnant so easily. I'm sending you lots of hugs and baby dust. Xx
Thank you so much for this kind message , xxx
It's totally okay to feel angry, frustrated, and exhausted. The journey of IVF is filled with ups and downs, and it's completely valid to feel overwhelmed, especially when faced with constant reminders of others' successes. Take each day as it comes, and be gentle with yourself. Wishing you strength and hope as you await your next cycle. xx
Thank you so much Christianbaby. I really appreciate your message. This journey is so brutal, my heart aches.
Wishing you so much luck too and I hope you get your miracle soon. Xx
sending you so much love! I understand your feelings - I’m exhausted with it all and don’t know where to turn. It seems as though there’s positive baby news everywhere I turn, but just not in my world. Your feelings are valid and you’re not alone 🤍
Thank you so much Babydust2023. Sending lots of love back. It's so exhausting!It is so hard - there is no escape from baby news. Thank you again.
Sending lots of baby dust your way. Xx
It's so hard isn't it 😢 plus mothers day is so triggering! We are so unbelievably strong and deserving. X
We are definitely strong and deserving. Here's hoping it happens for us soon. X
I'm on this hard road of IVF as well so I get the anger. There are some days I can't stand to hear about someone else's pregnancy. It doesn't seem fair that people who don't want to be parents have several children easily and neglect them when there are people like us who struggle so much to conceive and have a baby. So if you are feeling angry - I think that's normal. It helped me to ask questions and figure out how I could adjust my next FET protocol with my doctor so I could take some control over the situation and be proactive. I'm 5 days after my 5th (and final) FET transfer so your post resonated with me. I'm alternating between hope and despair (currently feeling hopeless because I have zero symptoms.) I hope that your next FET transfer works for you- sending baby dust your way and positive thoughts!
Hi Mellia, thank you for your message and and good wishes. I'm wishing you all the luck in the world for your transfer. It's so hard not to symptom spot but I know many people get zero symptoms and then turn out to be pregnant. Wishing you all the best and please keep us updated if you feel up to it. Take care of yourself xx
you aren’t alone . I feel like I am being torn apart on this journey . It’s absolute torture at times and I do feel like I am becoming bitter . I can’t help it . I have booked a counsellor and I hope it will help to release some of my feelings xx
Hi Natasha2012, it is so brutal and I understand about feeling like you're becoming bitter. I hope the counsellor helps. I started seeing a fertility counsellor and it has helped me. Wishing you so much luck on your journey. Xx
you’re so right and you’re not alone. I’m still amazed at how unfair this all is - how on earth can women who don’t even want or try for babies make them so easily and ok here so desperate and doing so so much more than them and still have no baby yet!
It’s also tough as it’s all consuming, you can’t escape it! Thanks for sharing your rant, it’s nice to get it off my chest too x
Hi CarlottaD27, thanks for your message. I'm sorry you're feeling the same. I know, it's so unfair and brutal. Doesn't make sense does it. Wishing you so much luck and hope you get your miracle soon. Xx
Thank you, you too! I’m pleased to have found the lovely people on this forum as it makes me feel less alone in it all x
I couldn't agree more. It's such a lifeline. X
So angry, I'm between tears and screaming
Ffs the whole world is prego
Can’t believe this cruel world
Even slimming world isn’t safe!!
