Wishing all a merry, peaceful Christmas - Fertility Network UK

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Wishing all a merry, peaceful Christmas

Darcy1996 profile image
21 Replies

Hi all,

I’ve just left the house to go to the gym, get some space & burn off some cheese, but mostly to have some self-compassion and remove myself. This is our third Christmas without the baby in arms or utero we’ve imagined and hoped for. Looking for peace & joy still and being grateful I can have wine and cheese, silver linings! But wanted to say hello and hope all are coping in your own ways too, wherever you all are on your own journeys.

Happy holidays!

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Darcy1996 profile image
Darcy1996
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21 Replies
Skittles11 profile image
Skittles11

Good idea to give yourself this break and self compassion. I'm on my fifth Christmas with no baby in my arms which sometimes I simply can't believe. Like you, am trying to think of silver linings, I've had bit of nice cheese, lots of chocolate and some indulgences x x

Darcy1996 profile image
Darcy1996 in reply to Skittles11

Thank you for replying & sorry it’s your 5th without a babe in arms. I think TTC has taught me that self-care isn’t just a fad so hope you thoroughly enjoy those treats 🌲💜

Skittles11 profile image
Skittles11 in reply to Darcy1996

Thank you, and you as well. Definitely agree about the importance of self care x x

OrangeBear profile image
OrangeBear

Happy Christmas to you too xx

Going through third Christmas also, twin sister has had 2 babies in the last 3 years. Never gets easier but we keep pressing on and hoping for the best ❤️

Darcy1996 profile image
Darcy1996 in reply to OrangeBear

hope can be hard can’t it. I hear you, my baby brother is 15 years younger, and 2nd baby also imminent in the time we have been TTC too. All the best to you & hope you’ve found some joy this Christmas & some peaceful times

OrangeBear profile image
OrangeBear in reply to Darcy1996

Thanks xx yes found some joyful moments this Christmas even if it’s still hard to be jolly. Hope you have too ☺️

Christianbaby profile image
Christianbaby

Love the attitude of gratitude. Wishing you well. Hope you had a happy Christmas! x

Darcy1996 profile image
Darcy1996 in reply to Christianbaby

You too 💜

WillowPark profile image
WillowPark

Merry Christmas Darcy1996 . I did something similar yesterday - jumped up put of my bed at 8am with my husband and we snuck out of the house with the dog who "definitely needed out" and absolutely wasn't snoozing off her Christmas turkey when we forced her out 🤥 Best decision. It is a hard time of year and sometimes a little break just makes it all manageable. Hope you have managed to have a good time despite the heartache. I have but if I'm honest this next week and a half is usually worst for me. I'm already planning things to make it as easy as possible x

Darcy1996 profile image
Darcy1996 in reply to WillowPark

Brilliant, I have often thought I needed a dog, and now this is an even better reason! I like your idea of planning too…I’m a planner by nature so I need to plan some small goals and dates to look forward to. Hope you have a Happy New Year when it comes 🌲

WillowPark profile image
WillowPark in reply to Darcy1996

We got our puppy after a couple of years of infertility. It was always in the plan to have a dog but we decided to do kids first and get a dog when 'the kids' were a little older - when that didn't work out we just bit the bullet and got a dog. Absolutely no regrets and I genuinely think I wouldn't have got through these last couple of years without her by my side ❤️ 🐶🐕‍🦺

Skittles11 profile image
Skittles11 in reply to Darcy1996

My dogs have honestly helped me so much at various stages in this hell hole. If you are considering getting a dog my advice would be to go for it! X x

WillowPark profile image
WillowPark in reply to Skittles11

Skittles11 It is so true. I second getting a dog! She is phenomenal and my rock. (Don't tell my husband 🤣). If I'm still sitting here next year I might be tempted to get another!!

Lenley81 profile image
Lenley81

4th Christmas for us with no baby for us & most recent railed transfer just a week ago so still pretty raw. Sister-in-law about to give birth & although we have yet to see her this Christmas, we have hosted both mums so there’s been lots of talk about the imminent arrival & how mother-in-law is about to become grandma for the first time. Can’t help but feel that it should have been us giving her that long-awaited grandchild after so long.

I have allowed myself to have a few Buck Fizzes this year & about 3 times my weight in chocolate.

I hope everyone has been able to have a nice Christmas despite all we are going through.

Darcy1996 profile image
Darcy1996 in reply to Lenley81

Oh Lordy, that’s a lot for any time of year, let alone Christmas. I hope the Buck’s Fizz helped bring some cheer, and having family around, even with baby chat. I’m the eldest sibling of 4, and the only without a child so I hear you on the “should have been me with the first grandchild for you” - there’s already 6 kids and now another announcement imminent. Sorry re the failed transfer, I hope you’re coping with that alone as best you can 💜

Ree_Laine profile image
Ree_Laine

I feel exactly the same way. Took my test after what felt like a longggg 2ww this morning and it was a BFN. we’ve had so many obstacles to finally complete our 1st round after 3 years. ( 2 surgeries for me and 1 surgery for my fiancé). I went for a run then did a strengthening exercise class. It felt so good to go back to exercising and has really cleared my head. I’m already looking forward to a glass of bubbly I’ll have tonight that I wasn’t able to have throughout Xmas. In a way I feel relief that I finally know the outcome but already thinking ahead of how we’re to tackle doing this again next year 😩. Look after yourself and do things to make you happy! I surely will be have a Happy and prosperous new year! We will eventually get our happily ever after xx I believe and declare!

Darcy1996 profile image
Darcy1996 in reply to Ree_Laine

LOVE this declaration and flipping your outcome to think about the things you can enjoy instead. Exercise clears my brain too…or at least defers the feelings. Fingers crossed for us both for 2024, all the best 💜💜

Lamagarden profile image
Lamagarden

Hey Darcy1996, I can relate! I find Xmas challenging already plus fertility pain and other difficult personal circumstances this year, all in all v difficult period. I’ve committed to running every single day, just 2km but it makes me happy! Along with yoga, it keeps me sane. Am worried about next cycle, when those coping mechanisms will be removed but I’ll have to walk each day instead. Wishing you all the luck for your journey xx

Darcy1996 profile image
Darcy1996 in reply to Lamagarden

That’s a great idea as if nothing else, it gets you out. I’m tempted to try the couch to 5K again in Jan to have something else to focus on 🤞🏻🤞🏻

Positive20 profile image
Positive20

Darcy - I can totally relate to this however I am pleased to say this is our first year not wondering when our last childless Christmas is. All I can say is a lot can change in a year. Well done for looking for silver linings. Enjoy xx

Darcy1996 profile image
Darcy1996 in reply to Positive20

Aw congratulations!

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