Saying goodbye to my dream and hope's of my rainbow baby 😞

[Niki_B]

Hello lovelies ❤

It's been a long while since I've posted, but I have been checking in from time to time to see how you all are doing. So happy to hear of all the BFP's and milestones, and so sorry to hear of the BFN and losses...this journey can be so unfair 😞

Just wanted to let you know my IVF journey has come to an end 😞 my partner and I have split up, and sadly my last frozen embryo will be discarded 😥 I'm about 95% sure once you split you are no longer allowed to use any of your frozen embryos. I have not contacted the clinic yet to tell them... I think I've been avoiding it as it's just too painful to think about. But I will soon have to face facts.

But all is not doom and gloom...I've met someone and I have not been this happy for a very very long time...if ever 😁 after everything I've been through in the last couple years, it feels good to finally smile again and my heart feel full of love ❤

I just wanted to thank every one of you who was there for me throughout my journey, which we all know is incredibly hard and I dont know how I could have gone through it without all your love and support. You are all amazing women/warriors and I take my hat off to each and every one of you. I truely truely hope you all get your miracles one day I will always be rooting for all of you!

Thank you all again from the bottom of my heart ❤ sending light, and love 💕

[Noah1981]

Xxxxx you go be happy sweetheart life is short we got to make sure we live it to the fullest every day I wish you all the happiness in the world my darling xxxx

[Niki_B in reply to Noah1981]

Hey sweetie thank you ❤ and yes life is way too short to not live our lives to the fullest! I wish you so much luck and you are one of the ladies I will be checking back in to see when you finally get your miracle 😉 thank you for your kind words 😘💕

[Noah1981 in reply to Niki_B]

Xxxxx

[Sayusayme]

Hey dear

It kind of stupidity to a leave a girl just because she is having hard time to concieve.

God bless your ex partners soul🤗

But am glad you have have a good and lovely partner and God bless you both and let universe shower your soul with all happiness ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[Niki_B in reply to Sayusayme]

Hey hun, he didnt leave me I left him. But thank you for your kind words 😘 I wish you the same lovely 😘❤💕

[Cinderella5]

Hey Niki, I was just thinking about you last night! Im so sorry you've had to give on your little frostie, that is so sad and must be incredibly difficult. I am however so happy that you seem in a good place with a lovely new partner by your side, great news! And even better to hear that you are smiling again! Lots of love to you.xxx

[Niki_B in reply to Cinderella5]

Hey hun, yes it is really really difficult. But I couldnt stay with someone in hope's that my last frostie would work 😞 I had done that for long enough as it is. My miscarriage as you know was really really hard to cope/deal with and having 0 support from your supposed other half just made it even harder. But yes I am in a good place and feel I've met my soulmate 😍💕 so nice to be filled with love again 🤗 I wish you soooo much luck with your upcoming FET...its gotta be lucky number 7 😉💖 thanks again for all your love and support, and I shall be checking up to see your long awaited rainbow 💕😘 xxx

[Cinderella5 in reply to Niki_B]

No, you're absolutely right! No point in staying with someone that doesnt make you happy and that lack of support Im sure was the straw that broke the camel's back. Happiness is what life is all about after all. Im truly happy for you lovely, you deserve this and you never know what is around the corner. Thank you for your well wishes, I'll keep you all updated.xx

[Niki_B in reply to Cinderella5]

It probably was the last straw. Waw wo awful lying in bed not even wanting to get up and face another and someone who is suppose to be your partner cant even ask if your ok. And that's right who knows what lies around the corner, just trying to be happy and let go of what I cannot control. Hey i tried my damn hardest as you know, and at least i will have no regrets. Thanks so much for your support over the last couple years you've been there for me so much and i appreciate it so so much. This has to your time...lucky number 7!! 🤗💕 I will message you on WhatsApp in a week or 2 and hopefully get some long awaited news 😘💖😍

[Cinderella5 in reply to Niki_B]

Ahhh you're completely welcome! All we can do is our best and hopefully you can gain some peace in knowing that. Sometime we get the best surprises when we least expect it and perhaps your new partner was just one of those! Yes, give me a shout on whatsapp anytime, would be great to hear from you. Thank you also for your support, means the world.xx

[Hidden]

Oh Niki what a bitter sweet post. I really hope you achieve your dream one day. Sad for now with regards to fertility, but happy for you that you have your new relationship and clearly you have immense strength. Big hugs to you xxx

[Niki_B in reply to Hidden]

Hey hun, yeah it is bitter sweet. Thanks for your kind words, I'm just focusing on being happy and trying to better myself...hey if anything that means more doggies for me 😁😉 I hope your wee bundle of joy is keeping you busy and filling your heart with love ❤💖💕

[Hidden]

I am so glad your heart is so full! You so deserve that...

...and who knows, with your new partner you could be saying hello to your rainbow baby. My doctor keeps telling me that different sperm makes all the difference 😍❤️

[Niki_B in reply to Hidden]

Thanks sweetie. Well yes you never know but I'm not going to focus on that, done that for too long time to let go and just try and live life and be happy...whatever will be will be 😁 thank you for your kind words 😘💖💕

[Hidden in reply to Niki_B]

❤️❤️❤️❤️

[LKT1]

Hi Niki sorry to hear if your break up. If you wanted to consider still using your embryo you could check your documents/legal pack you signed before treatment. I think there were various boxes to tick if embryos could still be used in event of break up or death etc. You may decide that you’d like to hold on and see how things go with your new partner. I’m glad he is making you happy and you never know he may have extra strong swimmers! 💪 xx

[Niki_B in reply to LKT1]

Yeah I'm pretty sure the only box we ticked was if he passed away I could still use any sperm/embryos that we had. But there was nothing about break ups. But that's ok, it is what it is just going to focus on my new relationship and just being happy 😁 thank you for your kind words and all the best with you as well 😘❤💕

[MissSaoPaulo]

I'm so glad to hear you're in a good place now, wishing you all the best for the future - who knows what it holds?

[Niki_B in reply to MissSaoPaulo]

Hey hun. Well you are exactly right. In a way it feels good not to have to focus on that 24/7 as that feels like that's all I've done for the last couple years...and gosh its been draining! Ut yes who knows aye, what will be will be 😁 I hope you are enjoying your wee girl I bet she is growing fast 🤗😘💖

[Solly-44]

Reading this made me quite emotional (I blame the hormones!) But seriously, what an unbelievably tough decision to make. So glad you’ve found the right person for you though and are able to move on in the most positive way possible.

Wishing you nothing but happiness xx

[Niki_B in reply to Solly-44]

Yes those nasty hormones always blame them 😉 it wasnt a tough decision ending things with my ex, but is/was very hard saying goodbye to my last embryo and my IVF journey 😞 but thank you for your kind words and I wish you all the best and you get your wee bundle of joy 🤗💖 all the best sweetie xxx

[Hoping2019]

Wow great to hear you’re happy and smiling! I also split up with my husband a few months after miscarriage and still getting used to the adjustment and doing egg freezing. Hopeful I will meet someone new and feel that love again like you have 🤞🏽😃 x

[Niki_B in reply to Hoping2019]

Hey hun thank you. Aww I'm sorry to hear of your split too, I think going through a miscarriage is really taxing on a relationship especially when you get no support. But we have to do what's best for us at the end of the day. Am glad to hear your doing egg freezing, it's a bit late for me to do that I'm 40 in a few months so not really worth it. And you WILL meet someone and fall in love again, I never thought I would but here I am happy as a pig in shit 🤣🤣 all the best hun and i hope you get your miracle one day 😁😘💕

[Tugsgirl]

I don’t know whether to be happy or sad for you so I’m going to say both. I hope that if a family is still what you want, that you’re able to achieve it somehow. If not then I wish you a happy and contented life anyway! We are defined by much more than our abilities to have children xx

[Niki_B in reply to Tugsgirl]

Yeah it is bittersweet but I couldnt pretend anymore and I couldn't keep living with someone who made me feel well miserable is an accurate word. Of course I still want a family but I guess it is what it is. More animals? Yessssss! 😉 I'm so so happy you finally got your miracle and I bet she is keeping you on your toes and filling your hearts with love and admiration 🤗😍 I wish you all the best and thanks so much for your support over the last couple years ❤ take care hun 😘💖💕

[Kiedy84]

New beginning and happiness can lead to amazing things. You have opened your heart and allowed yourself to be truly happy and that's when the magic begins💞💞 sending lots of love but it sounds that's all around you now anyway😃

[Niki_B in reply to Kiedy84]

Aww thanks hun 🤗 but yes my heart is filled with love right now and I feel so lucky to have met someone that makes me feel this way 💕 thanks for your kind words I wish you all the live and happiness in the future as well 😘❤

[Emmaxxx]

Oh hun. I’m sad for you but also I am happy for you to have met someone who completes you. Be happy and you never know one day it may still happen. Be happy xx

[Niki_B in reply to Emmaxxx]

Thanks so much Emma 😘 I wish you all the best and all the best with the rest of your pregnancy so happy for you 💕 sending light and love 💖🤗💕

[Ajplus1]

I’m sorry to hear this sweetie but I’m also so happy to hear that you’re smiling and enjoying yourself again.

Take care of yourself hun, you deserve the best ❤️❤️

[Niki_B in reply to Ajplus1]

Thanks so much hun 🤗 you deserve the best as well you've been through so much the last few months I hope and pray you get your wee bundle of joy in the near future. Sending lots of love and baby dust 😘❤💕

[Ajplus1 in reply to Niki_B]

Thank you lovely. Wishing you all the best ❤️❤️

[Noobs]

Sorry to hear this Niki_B. You’ve been through the mill. So nice to hear you’ve met someone who makes you truly happy and I wish you all the best for the future. Xx

[Niki_B in reply to Noobs]

Thanks hun, yes it hasnt been easy as you know this journey is not for the faint hearted. I wish you all the best for your future hun, take care and sending love and light to you and yours 💖😘🤗

[Elynn]

Niki wishing you all the best. So glad you are happy.

[aamiller405]

I thought id feel sad for you as I read this post but actually I'm delighted for you. Of course the post is bittersweet but your happiness shines through.. Best of luck for your future xo

[Lynnr54]

I’m glad that you have finally found someone that makes you happy. You deserve it after everything you’ve been through. It may depend on clinic policy but I think you would probably still be able to use your frozen embryo but would need your ex-partner’s consent to do so. If you do want to go ahead and try using it then it’s probably worth a chat with the clinic and if they say yes then broach the subject with your ex.

[Faith103]

Hope you are ok as you can be. This happened to me and I lost 4 5 day blastocyst it killed me the day I had to sign the paperwork to get rid of them but turns out like you god had something else in store for me. My ex was not a nice person and was not very supportive when it come to the one ivf cycle we did do. When I think about it now I believe it was not meant to be. My ex was no good and he would of never given me the family I desired as it turns out he preferred to party and sleep with other woman. 2 year after splitting up with my ex after being single I met my soul mate and my best friend. I met someone who is the mirror of me and wants a family as much as I do and willing to do whatever to make sure we both get some sort of a happy ending as we have both had a difficult life. I had an ectopic 3 months ago and he was my rock. In the future I don’t doubt for one min he will support me with whatever happens, I have stage 4 endo and have just had another surgery and he’s been fantastic. I believe things fall apart so that other things fall in place. Don’t worry about your embryo it wasn’t meant to be. You will get your miracle with the person who your supposed to have your family with. The world works in clever ways. Sending you lots of love. Enjoy your new partner he’s been sent for a reason. Have fun and love each other. That’s what I did and after 10 years I conceived naturally unfortunate that I had ectopic but I didn’t even think I was capable of doing it on my own. When you are relaxed and happy the body knows xxxx

[Shelleybean]

Wishing you every happiness honey 💖 xx

[Rowly88]

Sorry to hear your news, but so happy to hear you have found someone who makes you happy and makes you smile xxx I wish you all the best with your new relationship and new path your on xxx

[Scarlett13]

I do believe things happen for a reason and perhaps live was meant to take this course for you so that you end up happy with the right man. I hope you still have a chance for a family with your new partner at some point if that’s possible and what you both want - but if that doesn’t happen I wish you a life of love, adventure and doggies xxxx

[Hope25]

So glad you have found your smile and happiness - life is full of ups and downs - its our job to make the most of it. All the very best x

[Emmawilson12]

You are a happy soul. You are indeed a warrior. You are not like those who keep on mourning about natures decisions. You are among those who find happiness in their life. I feel pity for the one who parted his ways. I am sure you are having all the goods in your life. You deserve someone who can make you as much happy as you are at the moment. Wish you loads of luck for the life ahead. Live your life to the fullest. Stay Blessed.