Broken πŸ’”: I had a feeling the last few... - Fertility Network UK

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Broken πŸ’”

E_05 profile image
E_05
β€’100 Replies

I had a feeling the last few days that something wasn't right so we went for a private scan and our worst fears were confirmed. Our precious baby has gone πŸ’”

I'm not sure what I do so wrong, on Monday we saw their heart beating strong and now I have to wait till Monday to decide our next steps.

Broken doesn't even come close 😭

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E_05 profile image
E_05
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100 Replies
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Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl

You didn’t do anything wrong! Neither did I. I’m so sorry for your loss xx

Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl in reply to Tugsgirl

Ps if you need any advice on what to expect on whatever you choose to do then please talk to me as I’ve done both options now. Again I’m very very sorry xx pps on Sunday night I’ll be lighting a candle for my babies and I’ll light one for yours too xx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Tugsgirl

Thank you so much, I really appreciate that. I had medical management last year but not sure I can put myself through that again. Hope you've got lots of support around you still xx

Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl in reply to E_05

I have. I hope you have too. Don’t forget we’re all here for each other.. And if you decide that a d and c is the way forward and want to know how I got on with that then please feel free to ask.. I can only hope for you now that the next stage is as quick and painless for you as possible so that you can begin to process and grieve your little one xx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Tugsgirl

I do and thank you again I know how hard it must be for you still grieving. I'm just terrified that'll il start bleeding between now and Monday, I think having no control at all scares me even more xx

Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl in reply to E_05

I know. I was terrified of that too but it didn’t happen either time. It’s an awful time 😞 xx

bluewanderlust profile image
bluewanderlust in reply to Tugsgirl

Oh Tugs you just made me cry I hope you are ok xxxx

Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl in reply to bluewanderlust

I’m as ok as I can be xx

N_M_10 profile image
N_M_10

Oh my goodness! I am so so so sorry. Sending you love and hugs. It wasn't anything you did, please remember that. xxx

Ang24816 profile image
Ang24816

I'm so very sorry ☹ you did nothing wrong at all. Please don't blame yourself. Sending you and your OH lots of love. Xx

Dream32 profile image
Dream32

I'm so so sorry to hear this! I remember you were the first person to reply to me on here and I was so grateful. Please stay strong for yourself and be kind to yourself. This journey, everything we go through is bitter sweet!

Thinking of you x

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Dream32

That's so lovely of you, thank you x

Dream32 profile image
Dream32 in reply to E_05

please don't blame yourself either, these cruel things happen they are out of our control. Be kind to yourself x

I'm so sorry.

You have done nothing wrong, although I completely understand blaming yourself.

Look after yourself as the next days and weeks will be very hard.

We are all here for you x

Leo2017 profile image
Leo2017

I'm so sorry to read this!! Please don't blame yourself, this is the cruelest of journeys!! Look after yourself!! 😒xx

ladyc83 profile image
ladyc83

I'm so so sorry to hear of your loss ... You didn't do any thing wrong. Look after yourself sending hugs xx

7AVA profile image
7AVA

So so sad to read this today E_05 xxx

This is just the worst news to read. I am so sorry for your loss - it's so unfair! Thinking of you xx

louisear profile image
louisear

words don't express how cruel this is. I'm so sorry. Be kind to yourself, as the others have said, this isn't your fault, you did nothing wrong. We're all here for you for support. No one understands this better than we do xx

I am so sorry for your loss life can be so cruel. My heart goes out to you xxx

Cinderella5 profile image
Cinderella5

Oh I'm so so sorry for your loss!! Sending hugs and love xx

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Please do not blame yourself you didn't do anything wrong. Thinking of you both xxx

Littledee88 profile image
Littledee88

I am so so sorry to read this my heart really goes out to u. U have did nothing wrong never blame urself. Sending u hugs xx

AllWeNeedIsluv profile image
AllWeNeedIsluv

Awwww hun I'm so so sorry to read this. Bless you and your hubby nothing anyone can say will make it better. Sending you lots of love πŸ’—πŸ˜”πŸ˜˜. You did nothing wrong at all. X

Anipea profile image
Anipea

So sorry to hear this it's so unfair what has happened to you xxx

A-Jay- profile image
A-Jay-

So sorry.. this is something more heartbreaking than bfn.. big hugs

misswinky34 profile image
misswinky34

I'm so sorry β€πŸ’”πŸ’”πŸ˜’πŸ˜’

Amanda86 profile image
Amanda86

I'm so sorry to read this πŸ™ This is heartbreaking. Please don't blame yourself, this isn't your fault. Sending lots of love your way xxx

Lou9 profile image
Lou9

I can't believe I'm reading this. πŸ’” I am so devastated for you. You have done absolutely nothing wrong. I'm so sorry. Xx

Elou81 profile image
Elou81

I am so very sorry for your loss x you couldn't have possibly done anything more. I can't help but ask myself why is this happening. It seems an all to frequent occurance of late. There are no words, no answers. You and all the lovely and deserving ladies on here are in my thoughts and heart. Take care xxx

So very sorry to hear this xxx

Shanks_21 profile image
Shanks_21

So sorry for your loss sending lots of hugs and love xxx

ICSIRose profile image
ICSIRose

This has made me so sad! I’m so so sorry to be reading this! Sending you lots of hugs, really sorry! Look after yourself Xxxx

pinto8 profile image
pinto8

I'm so so sorry you haven't done nothing wrong...sending youa big hug xx

Hannah143 profile image
Hannah143

Ah sweetie, my heart breaks for you, you haven’t done anything wrong at all. I hope you’re taking some time out for you and your hubby to be with each other. Sending you my biggest hug xxx

ICSIBaby86 profile image
ICSIBaby86

I am so so sorry to hear this πŸ˜₯ lots of love ❀️

Loopielu profile image
Loopielu

Oh no no no! I am so sorry to see this 😞. Sending you all the love I can. Life is so cruel and unfair. This is nothing you have or haven't done. Much love. xxx

So so sorry to read this x sending you big hugs x I know what your going through and you will be heart broken . There are no words anyone can say to make you feel any better . But as long as you have friends and loved ones with you it will help you both get through this heartache x ps I planted a beautiful BAY TREE in my garden . That's what helps me each day get through my loss . X

Franco81 profile image
Franco81

Oh I am truly sorry to hear this, my heart is breaking for you too. You are always the first to support others on here so I hope you're feeling that love back now when you need it the most.

I've not been on this journey anywhere near as long as you but one thing I've learnt is that there seems to be no reason why these things happen and none of us deserve these awful moments.

Sending lots of strength to you and your OH right now. Look after yourselves and take the time you need to grieve xx

Fredaflintstone profile image
Fredaflintstone

So sorry to her this. My heart breaks! 😒Please don’t blame yourself. Like all of us you’ll have been doing everything right and what is right anyway? It’s so bloody unfair! Sending you the biggest hugs. Here if you want to talk xxxx

Poppy16 profile image
Poppy16

Oh no. Awful news. Absolutely devastated for you and your OH. Thinking about you and praying for you. If I can help in any way at all please PM me. I have been there 3 times sadly and know the heartbreak of suffering a loss. Sending you much love. Big hugs. Take care. Xo

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Poppy16

Thank you, I really appreciate that xx

C_L_A_I_R_E profile image
C_L_A_I_R_E

I'm so sorry to hear this! This is heart breaking! πŸ’” please look after yourselves. And please do not be tough on yourself! Love n hugs x

_MrsC profile image
_MrsC

Oh gosh! I am so sorry. This is just awful. You haven't done anything wrong. You are in my prayers. xxx

NMP1026 profile image
NMP1026

Oh sweetheart I am so sorry to read this. You have not done a single thing wrong. Sending lots of love to you and your amazing OH. Hugs xxx

bluewanderlust profile image
bluewanderlust

I am sure you have nothing to blame yourself for. I am so very sorry for you loss xxx

MrsR1988 profile image
MrsR1988

I’m so sorry! πŸ’” xx

abcgirl profile image
abcgirl

You didn't do anything wrong- not at all. Sending you love and hugs. πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’— I'm so so sorry for your loss πŸ˜₯

sweetpiee profile image
sweetpiee

This is so heartbreaking dear, I don't know what to say. I just wanted to help though! I couldn't keep my mouth shut I guess. Believe em dear you did nothing wrong! There was nothing that you could do. Maybe this was a test from god, or maybe you just had to go through this. Anyway you can't lose. Anything that happens after this you will be prepared. It is really devastating and I know exactly how you feel! You need to be able to move on though! I am sorry for your loss honestly, but don't let this consume you. Try again and this time harder maybe. One day you will make your dream come true. This is one of the worst things that can happen to a human being. It is really sad that you have to go through this. Now though, more than anybody else, you deserve to go through some of the most beautiful things in life. Wish you my love everything positive in life. Keep your head up as you have done nothing wrong. Keep believing and one day you will make it.

Coco24 profile image
Coco24

I'm so so sorry to hear that. Although it's not easy- please try not to blame yourself. This world can be a very cruel place sometimes. It's important that you be as kind to yourself as possible. ❀️ xxx

I really don’t know what to say. Sorry for your loss 😒 xx

Mircle2 profile image
Mircle2

Please don't blame yourself.. sorry for your lost hun! Sending you a massive hug ❀ x

Lynnr54 profile image
Lynnr54

Oh no, I'm so sorry. Please don't blame yourself. There will be nothing you could have done to change this! Make sure you understand your options and take as much time as you need to grieve. We're all here for you x

So sorry to hear this life is so cruel .

Big hugs x

LauraGU profile image
LauraGU

That is heartbreaking. I'm so sorry xxx

Kyell2 profile image
Kyell2

This is just awful news. I am so sorry you have to go through this. Look after each other x

E_05 profile image
E_05

Sorry I haven't replied to you all individually but just wanted to say as always I'm so grateful and over whelmed by the support from you all. It means so much to both me and my hubby xx

Penders profile image
Penders

Oh no I am so sad to read this. I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. You have done nothing wrong please don't let your mind go there. Sending you big hugs xxxxx

Hormomalmess profile image
Hormomalmess

So sad to see this. I am so very sorry 😒

Please don't blame yourself lovely xx

sorry to hear that

kt_11 profile image
kt_11

So sorry to hear this. Feel completely devastated for you xxx

I'm so very sorry for your loss xxx

MrsTM13 profile image
MrsTM13

Oh I'm so so sorry. Life is so cruel sometimes often to the best people. Thinking of you x

kelsbels88 profile image
kelsbels88

Oh hunnie I’m so so sorry this isn’t what I wanted to see.

Please please don’t blame yourself this is not your fault!

Thinking of you and sending hugs πŸ’•xxxx

Peppy26 profile image
Peppy26

So incredibly sorry to read this. Sending lots of hugs to you at such a difficult time. Xx

kumkums profile image
kumkums

So sorry to hear this. It really saddens. My heart goes out to you.

-noodles- profile image
-noodles-

i am so sorry for your loss. this is such a painful journey. please don't blame yourself. take good care of each other & know we are all 100% behind you xx

Bumblebee15 profile image
Bumblebee15

Im so so sorry. Thinking of you xx

ch319 profile image
ch319

Oh I’m so sorry to read this. Love and prayers

I'm so sorry. The feeling of being out of control is awful. I've had two miscarriages, both times were natural and happened without medical intervention, and they were both very different experiences. The second one was physically no worse than a heavy period. If you do start bleeding by yourself, try to think about the fact that that is your body's way of healing itself- it will do what it needs to do once the bleeding starts.

Sending you and your partner a gentle hug through this difficult time.

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Lizzielizzielizzie

Thank you, they said today if I start bleeding before Monday I should go to a&e. Do you mind me asking, did you go or stay at home?

Lizzielizzielizzie profile image
Lizzielizzielizzie in reply to E_05

I stayed home the first time as it started over the weekend and I had heard bad things about waiting times in a and e. I got the out of hours dr to prescribe me codeine and went to my GP first thing Monday morning. I knew I wasn't haemmorraging because I wasn't filling a pad in under two hours, so I figured there was nothing they could do and I waited it out. I'm not sure this was the right thing to do as I felt worried and scared and like no-one was looking after me (even though my family were all being amazing).

This time, I started to bleed on a Thursday so I went straight to my gp and got an appointment for the epau on the Friday morning, they scanned me and did a blood test and the blood test results came back on the Saturday to show that the miscarriage was basically complete and I just had bleeding like a period.

On balance, I think I would recommend doing as they say and going to a and e if you start to bleed, but just as a precaution and for reassurance. I honestly think that if it can happen naturally then that's the best way, but make sure that you get adequate pain relief as necessary- that's where a and e could help. My second miscarriage I didn't need anything stronger than paracetamol though. I hope that reassures you a little. You will get through this, I promise x

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Lizzielizzielizzie

Thank you for sharing your experiences with me and I'm so sorry for your losses to. Last year I had medical management and I took codeine but baby is a lot more developed this time so it just worries me more. I guess it's true what you said though, if it begins before Monday it's natures very cruel way x

Lizzielizzielizzie profile image
Lizzielizzielizzie in reply to E_05

I know what you mean. There are other painkillers as well if codeine is not enough, so do head to hospital if need be x

DC13 profile image
DC13

You did nothing wrong at all. This is a tough journey with so many obstacles to overcome. The exact same happened to us.

Sending you big hugs. PM me if I can help in anyway.

Be kind to yourself.

Xxx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to DC13

Thank you so much xx

Sunshine09 profile image
Sunshine09

Thinking of you, so so sorry,πŸ’”πŸ’‹πŸ’‹

Lynnedevine85 profile image
Lynnedevine85

Oh no . I'm so so sorry . It's just not fair . Love to you and your partner. I just don't know what to say I'm so so sorry .

Aleelilook profile image
Aleelilook

Oh I'm so sorry, everyone has said it before but please don't blame yourself, it's just life can be heartbreaking, and it's not fair and it can be an utter shit xxx I had a D&C in May, and despite the traumatic nature of being there physically I was fine, and the doctors and nurses were so kind. I truly am sorry xxxxxxx

Becca21 profile image
Becca21

I'm so sorry to hear about your grievous loss! :( Nah, it just happens, even a small thing as sheer bad luck can cause it. I don't think you could have done something really to make it happen. Been through the same, never did anything to make it happen yet it happened. I know it's a new kind of hell but you've got to get back strong. Hugs!

Clare_lou profile image
Clare_lou

I'm so so sorry this is happening to you. It's so incredibly cruel and unfair. It's not your fault in any way. It's all so random and terribly cruel. I'm so sorry. Thinking of you both xxx

Hopeandwishes profile image
Hopeandwishes

I’m so sorry for your loss. Please do not blame yourself πŸ’”

Rubinaa profile image
Rubinaa

I'm so so sorry... it's upsetting beyond words.

Magc27 profile image
Magc27

I’m so sorry I know how you feel, I went for a scan saw my baby’s heart beat next scan the heart beat wasn’t there, I also thought I done something wrong, stayed up wondering what I done wrong but I had to stop thinking like that, it’s not anything you done or did, unfortunately life is cruel. Be kind to ur self xx

Hollibob profile image
Hollibob

Sad news...sorry x

Laura_beth profile image
Laura_beth

Im so sorry to read this.

Sending lots of love and hugs to you and your husband. Dont be too hard on yourself - sometimes nature takes its course and sadly it is something we will never be able understand or justify.

Make sure you look after eachother xx

E_05 profile image
E_05

Thank you all again for your thoughtful messages, means so much to us xx

Sa_Ra profile image
Sa_Ra

I’m so sorry for ur loss please don’t blame urself. Life is so cruel πŸ˜”

Jonesjp profile image
Jonesjp

Hunny I am so sorry to read this, it’s heartbreaking and I can’t begin to imagine how you are both feeling, sending you much love x x x

Choctastic profile image
Choctastic

I'm so sorry xxx

vic77 profile image
vic77

I am heartbroken to read this I truly am..you do nothing wrong ..this process is the cruelest. Take time and take care .we are all here whenever you need us xxx

Kelly-03 profile image
Kelly-03

I'm so so sorry xx you didn't nothing wrong at all. It's such a hard journey and my thoughts are with you xx

DianeArnold profile image
DianeArnoldPartnerNurseFertility Network UK

Hi E_05. Just to let you know that I shall be thinking of you today, as you make your decisions. Diane

Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl in reply to DianeArnold

Please do let us know how you’re getting on xx

Sherry07 profile image
Sherry07

So very sorry to hear this ... heart breaking Please update us on your appointment today. Sending hugs and prayers xx

Leesara profile image
Leesara

Just read some of your older posts and this one.... I'm so so sorry, words can't say. You will be in my thoughts and yet you are so supportive to others despite what you have/are going through x

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Leesara

Aw thank you, I get so much support from everyone on here I’m glad I can offer some back x

Lorry1984 profile image
Lorry1984

So sorry to hear this. Thinking about you. xx

Lorry1984 profile image
Lorry1984

So sorry to hear this. Thinking about u. xx

Gemz29 profile image
Gemz29

So sorry to read this..... my thoughts are with u ❀️x

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