Today I'm sad.

[Lizzielizzielizzie]

Another month, another period. It was a day late (haven't had nearly as reliable timings since doing ivf). Pregnancy test was negative so I knew in my head it was coming, but in my heart I allowed myself to hope for the first time in ages. Even though any natural pregnancy I did have would be highly likely to end in miscarriage. So actually falling pregnant naturally would be a nightmare too.

We have our next steps... waiting to get all the paperwork and hoops jumped through so we can have pre-implantation genetic diagnosis and hopefully get a viable embryo for ivf. I had been feeling more positive since finding out about DH's chromosome problem... at least we know what we were facing. But a meeting with the geneticist this week led to us being told that statistically it's likely that only 17% of our embryos will be chromosomally viable. They need a selection in order to do the pgd, and I haven't been great at producing eggs. It's all really starting to look like it's not going to happen for us. So today, when my period came, I felt sad. When does the hoping for a miracle ever end?

[7AVA]

Oh Lizzie, I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling sad. Please try not to pay too much attention to statistics, although I know from my own experience that's very hard. We were told by a consultant at a private clinic that our chance of getting pregnant with own eggs are 10-12%, chance with donor 30%. It's very deflating to hear these stats. But statistics are just numbers. We're all individuals and there's plenty of success stories on here which should have been statistically impossible. I'm wishing you the very best of luck and I'm so sorry for your feelings today xxx

[Leesara]

Oh Lizzie sorry to hear about your tough day. No words of wisdom but stay strong oxo

[beauty1984]

I'm sure there's many couples out there who were told their % of getting pregnant were slim but then they did, there is always hope, it may take a little longer to get there then other couples but never give up hope that it will happen. I wish you all the best 😊 good luck xx

[Lou9]

Please don't give up hope. Allow yourself to grieve this month's negative result, regardless of how many times you have been faced with one it never gets any easier. I understand how it feels for your chances of success to look bleak, I also face the same reality albeit in a different way, but there is no reason why you can't be the success story. Sending you positive vibes xxx

[Lizzielizzielizzie]

Thanks ladies for letting me offload. I've had some sleep now and everything feels more surmountable. I'm remembering that we have our next steps and I'm trying to be patient whilst we wait to be able to take action. Next appointment in three weeks but we are going to go to an adoption info evening the night before as well. As you all know, it's just all the waiting around which gets to you, and pmt hormones don't help!!

[vic77 in reply to Lizzielizzielizzie]

Emotional roller coaster this bloody infertility.I think you should be so proud of yourself. You have a plan and to hang with the stats ..this whole game is about stats it seems and folk beat the odds on here all the time..I so hope you do too😀considering adoption too puts a plan b in motion so well done on that too. I recently printed out all the booklets about adoption and we started to consider it as a more realistic possibility too. I work with kids in care and that kind of put me off but to be honest I know we could give any child a loving home 😀take care and hope you continue to feel better xxx

[NsKaz]

So sorry you're feeling down Lizzie - though of course totally understandable. Glad you are feeling a little better today. The ladies are right, try to ignore the stats (so hard I know) and keep the faith if u can. So so hoping that you get your BFP & little bundle of joy soon. All the best xxx

[Fredaflintstone]

Glad you're feeling a bit better. You will get there and you have a plan to do so, which is really positive. One step at a time. Be kind to yourself. Sending big hugs and strength to you xxx

[Hidden]

Oh Lizzie, sorry I missed this last night, sounds like you had a particularly tough day. Pleased that you're feeling a bit stronger again today. I don't think we ever really give up hope do we? Every single month continues to be an emotional rollercoaster, it's just the extent of the lows that vary for me.

Whilst the odds aren't in your favour, the tests you've been through have at least highlighted what the issues are and it sounds like your clinic is really doing all they can to work with you to put the right plan in place so I will be keeping everything crossed for you that this is your time. Looking into adoption also seems like a very sensible step and I'm sure that whatever the outcome with your own treatment, any child would be so lucky to have the opportunity to grow up with you as their Mummy. x