Fertility treatment question

[Midget-gem]

Hi everyone totally new to all of this I have been trying for a baby for the past 15 years since the deaths of my premature twin daughters I have suffered several miscarriages and 20 months ago separated from my husband. I am now hoping to start fertility treatment with the London Women’s Clinic as a single person using a donor as yet I don’t know if ivf or out will be possible for me until I have had the initial tests done next week to see if I can carry a baby at all due to previous issues. My question though is myself and my ex husband have been separated for 20 months but are unable to begin our divorce until September as that is the 2 years separation that the law states you must have, we are both very amicable and still friends despite being separated however the clinic has informed me that should I begin treatment with them before I am divorced my ex will be classed as the legal father despite me using a donor does anybody have experience of this and advise me please I don’t want ondrlay atarting treatment until after my divorce but also don’t want my ex partner to have parental responsibility of a child born after our separation Thankyou in advance

[CLDxxx]

Hey, I just noticed my reply didn’t go through - sorry.

I’m so sorry for your losses. I think you’re amazing.

Will your divorce take long to complete? Hopefully not if you have agreed the terms etc.

I’d say it would be worth having your checks as you say and also the consultation scan at the clinic as soon as you can so you can start to get your body ready for the treatment. I had small cysts on both ovaries so was advised to wait until 2 periods in the hope to clear them. I waited for 3 and all was fine so maybe use this slight delay as a way of preparing so you have the best chance possible ❤️ I’ve seen on here a book recommended called ‘ it starts with the egg’ which you might find usefully too.

Wishing you lots of luck xx

[Midget-gem in reply to CLDxxx]

Thankyou for your reply and kind words. Hopefully the divorce won’t take too long they have estimated around 6 months from now it should take. My initial tests and consultation are next week the 27th not sure if I’m exited or nervous to be finally getting something started.

I think tour advice is good advice that’s what I will do have the initial scan tests and consultation and go from there. I was getting so worried about it to be honest but have Now been advised by the solicitor that as long as myself and my ex complete a withdrawal of consent form which basically states he is not accepting and I’m not expecting him to have any parental responsibility this should be enough it will be used as evidence in the future should anything ever be disputed.

I will take a look at that book thanks for the recommendation have you read it?

Hope your treatment is going well too.

Thanks again x

[CLDxxx in reply to Midget-gem]

Hey, it is overwhelming but also so exciting to be taking this step - I’m doing this on my own too and as much as i am nervous I am also relieved I have taken control of my life. Go us hey!

Oh that’s good about the forms. I did wonder as when I filled in my form as a solo parent I didn’t have to put any one else down and they didn’t check.

I haven’t read the book as I saw it a little too late but I was eating a healthy diet and taking pregnacare already so wasn’t too concerned.

I froze 6 embryos recently and hope to transfer back this year - main thing was getting the eggs as I’m 39 now and I wanted to pay it off before the next step. I feel this was the best thing for me, as also gives my body time to adjust after IVF.

If you need any help please get in touch.

Good luck with your test next week xx

[Midget-gem in reply to CLDxxx]

Aw Thankyou fingers crossed the tests bring good news I don’t have a great pregnancy and fertility history but here’s hoping that’s changed

It’s so nice to speak to someone else doing it some d you are right it feels good to take control of your life - i am nervous but very exited for the future. Let’s hope it brings all we both hope for.

I’m going to order the book and take a look it may help to prepare fully during this break.

It is so expensive isn’t it makes sense you would want to pay it off first before the next step.

Good luck with everything I hope it all goes well for you

Xx

[CLDxxx in reply to Midget-gem]

This may well be your time. Stay positive. It’s very exciting. Also read, Going Solo by Genevieve Roberts. It’s such a lovely book and makes you feel so much better about this step. So many similarities and realistic.

Yes so expensive but will be worth it 🤗 I’ve even got back in to driving again as of today as I know that will help me doing this alone.

I’d love to know your results go. Stay in touch. Have a lovely weekend xx

[Midget-gem in reply to CLDxxx]

Aw Thankyou I will let you know how it goes - driving is so good it will really benefit you especially when you have a child I just passed my test end of last year again something I never did in my marriage but felt so good passing and knowing I’d done it for myself and by myself.

Look at us independent women lol

Have a great weekend too

Speak soon

Xx