So... My drugs have arrived...
I signed for them; closed the door and just stood there staring at them as one lonely tear trickled down my face. It represented fear, excitement, nothing, everything.
This is scary.
There is a lot in this box. If you haven't got to this stage yet... I don't think anything can prepare you. Our nurse told us to have a good look at everything; which we did... Accompanied by jokes to lighten the mood (or look of fear on my face) from my husband about how many items in the box were for inserting, or rubbing, in to my vagina.
This box marked a significant moment for us. It was here. The journey we'd waited to start for what seemed like forever... Was ready to start whenever I started bleeding (short protocol).
This is scarier than I thought.
We counted everything. Twice. We put everything back in the box. Then my husband put it all in the spare room; which seemed like a great place to carry out the injections. Then it got warm. So I put everything in the fridge the next day... Hoping the in-laws don't pop over for a brew and ask what the vaginal cream is for...
I went to work. I came home. I looked at everything again. I can't stop looking at it. I've been taking Provera. Has anyone else done that route? And now I'm at the end of that... I know... I'm just waiting for that period to start so I can start making my way through the fridge of tricks...
This is scar...
So...I've just about stopped looking at everything now. And actually? It's not that scary. Beyond the needles, the drugs, the creams and everything else... There's hope. And a small smile.
Phewf.
