Help,feeling alone and overwhelmed

[help1986]

I'm 29yrs old with severe endo and get ovary cysts.

Was told wanted ivf,so went to our 1st appointment. They wanted to start straight away, but I couldn't as I've just started new job, typical coz we've been waiting over a year for the nhs to refer us,they then wouldn't give us any more information and was a bit shitty with us and said we can delay it this once until November and thats it.

I'm feeling stressed and overwhelmed, I don't want to be in the dark, I need to know the process and timescale of what going to happen. I'll need to get time off to go to appointments,but I'll have to book them in advance,I cant just go at the drop of a hat. I love my new job and I don't want to have to tell my boss that I need to have ivf-not really his business to know-i also don't want him to think 'oh another female going off to have babies ' especially if nothing came out of it, he'll be told for no reason.

I duno I'm just working myself up.

Can any one tell my a time scale?

Ie

how long you have to being they'll for

When do you start taking injections?(do they have to be done at the same time every day? (I work shift work)

How many scans do I need to have before they take the eggs? And when in the cycle?

How long is the process?-from taking the pill to inserting the embryo?

Please help me.

[Hopeful1982]

Hello Help1986, it sounds like you've got yourself into a bit of a panic. Managing IVF around work is something many of us worry about but you figure a way through it!

Personally, I didn't want to tell my boss for the same reasons you've highlighted! So, I Just told him I was going in to hospital for a procedure, that it was nothing to worry about but I would need time off for a pre-op assessment, the procedure itself and any follow-up appointments. Alternatively your GP will sign you off and just put 'gynaecological investigations' on the slip.

In terms of the process itself it varies slightly from woman to woman but the main points are the same.

I called the hospital on day 1 of my period and they told me when to start the nasal spray to down regulate. They also gave me a date for my baseline scan.

After the baseline scan I started taking injections to stimulate my ovaries. I had to take them at the same time every night. Everyone is nervous about this part but I promise they are absolutely fine. I had to inject in a restaurant toilet the second night as we were out for dinner. It was no problem at all.

I had a scan a week later and a further scan 3 days after that. I got a call on the Monday to say Egg Collection would be on the Thursday. You do need a full day off for that. Embryo transfer was 5 days later (although some clinics do 3 day embryo transfers).

Then all you have to do is wait! The whole process took me 7 weeks (inc the 2ww) but it can be a quicker depending on what protocol you are on.

My hospital were good and I had my scans at 8.30am in the morning to interfere as little as possible with my work. So, hopefully you can work this around your shifts. But, EC and ET do require the day off.

I hope this helps! Good luck with treatment x

[help1986 in reply to Hopeful1982]

Thank you Hopeful82

Despite always knowing in the back of my mind I'd need ivf for kids,I always had hope that it would never come to it-i suppose I berried my head in the sand. Now it's all real and I've got to go through it. Just hope there's light at the end of the tunnel.

If you don't mind me asking,how many ivf have you gone through? Have you been successful?

I'm just worried I've got too many issues inside and as they aren't going to deal with it,their plan is just let's do it and hope for the best,which I'm not happy about, I'm scared of heart ache and disappointment, I don't think I could take it.

X

[Hopeful1982 in reply to help1986]

Hello Help1986,

It's a shock to the system when you realise you need IVF. We have unexplained infertility so up until the last gasp I still hoped it would happen natuarally.

We only had one round of IVF and we're incredibly fortunate that it was successful (although I don't think I will actually believe it until we have our first scan a week on Tuesday). I can honestly say I never thought we would get to this stage. It all felt so hopeless. But, it did happen and there is light at the end of he tunnel.

I didn't find the IVF itself too bad but I was terrified about how I would cope with a negative outcome. It would have taken time to recover and have another go. But, you need to try and be positive during the cycle and assume it will work.

I did a lot to prepare myself emotionally for IVF. I went for counselling and I did some Tai Chi which really helped me to relax. I also did acupuncture during treatment which I think helped too.

Wishing you lots of luck x

[help1986 in reply to Hopeful1982]

Wow that's great to hear. I've found it hard to find a positive story, I think we all need to hear/read them!

I will be thinking of you on Tuesday.

I have tried acupuncture in the past, for sever months, as well as Chinese herbal remedies, but didnt notice any difference. The acupuncturist even said he couldn't help me and didn't want to take anymore money from me.... I don't know if it was me or him that had the problem....

Counseling is offered but not till the 2ww.I will be taking it though,I've found the whole issue with my body problems stressful/upsetting and unfair....

I was briefly positive about ivf after appointment, but I was soon back in reality after I read a couple of posts of not even getting to the stage of egg harvesting due to ongoing gyne probs,let alone hearing about several fail attempts.

Like I said I think it's very important for us women to hear the good,happy stories. It'll give us hope.

Good luck, would love to hear how Tuesday goes.

All the best xx

[Hopeful1982 in reply to help1986]

Glad it helps. I think there are more 'bad news' stories on the forums as people need support during the difficult times. I have also read success stories with ladies who have had successful IVF with complicated fertility issues so it really does happen!

Scan is a week on Tuesday (18th) so still a bit to wait. I just want to know that it's all ok as I've read a few stories of things going wrong at this stage.

I think it's worth paying for a few private counselling sessions. I found a great woman (through a Google search) who really helped me come to terms with what was happening. I think the 2ww is a bit late in the day!

I had acupuncture for a while whilst ttc naturally and gave up. But, I read it having a session before and after ET can really increase your chances. The women I saw specialised in fertility acupuncture and used to be a nurse so she was very knowledgable about IVF which helped me to trust her.

Wishing you lots of luck! x