4yo “doesn’t know” when he needs a wee

[Zivas]

My 4yo has been out of nappies for 18 months. He has never told us he needs a wee and if we don’t make him use the toilet on a regular basis, he will wet himself. When we ask why he didn’t use the toilet, he says he didn’t know the wee was coming.

He is developing normally, physically capable of using the toilet independently and not scared. For poo, he does tell us he needs to go and rarely has accidents.

He’s not remotely bothered about being wet once he has had an accident. If we didn’t make him get changed, he’d just stay in his wet clothes.

Has anyone else had this? Is it a medical condition? Can I help him?

[Tiredmum_]

Hi, I know it feels very frustrated to change clothes and clean the surface each time your child wets himself. But trust me its far better than holding in. I think just make him sit on the toilet at regular intervals, he will surely learn to do it on time. My son just holds it for 20+ hours and makes it a habit which is not safe for him. So he is still in nappies due to this thing. I would just suggest to don’t push him too much or you will be in another problem of holding things in for longer than necessary. Just make him sit on the toilet at regular intervals. Hope this helps

[Zivas in reply to Tiredmum_]

Thanks for your reply. I hope things improve for your kiddo too.

[PinkPebbles5]

This is the same as the situation we had with my son. We had been talking to health visitors about it for a couple of years but they said it wasn’t a clinical issue until he was 4 and just to keep trying reward charts.

So after he turned 4 the GP referred us to the Children’s bladder and bowel team who told us it was chronic constipation (confirmed by x-ray).

We didn’t suspect constipation because he seemed to have no issue with going for poos, just bladder control.

He wouldn’t have much notice of a wee coming, if any. And he needed to go much more often than other children.

They told us at the full colon was pressing on the bladder, not letting it fill to capacity and causing it to empty too soon.

He’s gone through disimpaction and been on laxatives to treat the constipation and as a result the wetting situation is so much better.

Not saying it will be the answer for you, just sharing our experience. Good luck!

[Zivas in reply to PinkPebbles5]

That’s really interesting, thank you. Maybe I just need to push the GP to investigate. It may be nothing but 18 months feels like a long time for it to just be a learning issue and I’d hate for a medical problem to just go undiagnosed.