Nearly 3 year old witholding wee even in nappies/pullups!!

[PurpleMoo]

I've also sent a web enquiry form through ERIC but thought I'd share here to see if anyone else is going through something similar, I can already see witholding is more common than I realised and I've listened to the ERIC podcast which was helpful.

My daughter has been witholding wee for a while even when wearing a nappy she would hold on until nap and bedtime. This involves a lot of rocking on the floor. She has suffered with constipation for over 18 months but I feel we've got this managed now, however she has also withheld her poo until she sleeps for well over a year. She did have a few painful poos at the beginning whilst I got to grips with Laxido and how it works - this all happened during the lockdowns so I've only seen a doctor once and that was a few months into using laxido so I didn't properly understand how it is used long term.

I spoke to my Health Visitor about the wee witholding and she advised full on potty training. We'd dipped our toe previously but didn't push it as we didn't want to make things any worse however she was always happy to sit on the potty/toilet but has never managed a wee in one. So now 2 weeks down the line we've still not had wee in the potty, she has become more distressed by the feeling of needing to wee and wanting to stop it and will not sit on the potty no matter what I offer her. I've gone back to offering pull ups if she wants them and have not mentioned the potty in the last couple of days. I'm also praising the wee she does during her nap and overnight in her pullups. I appreciate that this needs more complex help to resolve than just potty training and is going to take time so just wondering if there are any tips, success stories or even just solidarity out there?!

Thanks

[SmileyPrawn]

Hello My son also started withholding when we tried to potty train. We've tried relaxing sensory toys, warm water play, distraction with ipad. In the end we just went back to nappies and tried to get rid of the negative associations. He has stopped holding now so we've gradually reintroduced just sitting on the toilet, no pressure, no asking him to wee. He was actually using the toilet and in pants for 2 weeks but had a bad experience and then regressed. We were also advised to make it as fun as possible and use language like 'wee likes to go in the toilet' to take the pressure off what he has to do.It's so difficult isn't it! So upsetting to see them hold it for so long too.

Hope you get a break through soon x

[PurpleMoo in reply to SmileyPrawn]

Hi!Thanks so much for your reply. It really is so difficult and stressful especially when you're trying to keep calm for their sake but seeing them really struggle and not know how to help is so hard. We've been giving her the choice of pull ups or pants and the past couple of days she has had a wee in the morning whilst awake after struggling to hold it and we've heaped praise on her, stickers and encourage her to be proud of herself so I'm really hoping we're heading in the right direction! We've also been trying to manage constipation for 18 months and have been advised to try disimpaction routine which I'm not looking forward too but hoping that helps all round! I spoke to the GP about it on Friday and they weren't really helpful or seemed to get what we were going through!

Sounds like your son is making great progress, I hope the regression isn't for too long, must be so hard when he was doing so well. People keep reassuring that she will get there so I just keep trying to believe it but it's hard to feel like it shouldn't be this hard for them (or us)! xx

[Zebra1001]

No answers but solidarity! My daughter is 32 months old and pretty much the same issue. Long-term constipation and recent wee withholding. Ours has come in the wake of a little constipation crisis. I wonder if too much poo is building up in her rectum and pressing on her bladder so the nerves don’t signal properly? Or whether by trying to hold in the poo she holds in the pee too? Not sure…

Have things improved for your daughter in the last month?

[PurpleMoo in reply to Zebra1001]

So sorry you're going through this too, its so hard isn't it? I've wondered that too and her bladder/bowel are probably stretched which doesn't help although she does say she needs a wee from time time to time now. have done the sweetcorn test a couple of times to make sure she's not constipated but I think she's just so used to holding on to her poo and now wee. There's been a few times now where its all gotten too much and she has actually done a wee in her pull-ups including 3 times on Tuesday and I start thinking we might be getting somewhere but within a couple of hours she reverts back! So I know she can wee, there doesn't seem to be anything physically wrong there, she just can't seem to stop holding on and it's really impacting day to day life now. I've booked a face to face with the GP as I'm at a loss now so helping they will at least refer us for some help. We realised that her maintenance dose of laxative was too low, we're at 2 sachets a day now and there have been a few daily poo's ( and a near miss shart in the swimming pool due to her withholding!) Thanks for the solidarity and right back at you, who knew it was this hard to just wee and poo when you need too!