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3.5yr old refusing to use potty

Hi all. I’m new to this, have been recommended Eric from my daughters preschool key worker. She is 3.5yrs, my third child. Very independent in all ways, totally different to my boys, but she absolutely refuses to try the potty or loo. I’ve tried sticker charts, books, pretty knickers, treats....& nursery are trying to encourage her. She gets so physically upset when anyone talks about it-but she’s never been told off or had a bad experience?! She starts reception next September & pre school have advised if she doesn’t start by Xmas, to see the health visitor. Has anyone been through this or have any advice/tips for me? I really appreciate it in advance x

2 Replies

We had a similar thing but with poo after constipation. We did it step by step i.e. 1st reward for going to the potty in a nappy to do it, next on a potty in the nappy, next loosen the nappy etc. Rewards are a sticker or sweet every day for trying (easy with poo as it's a once a day thing) and then days out for big wins (eg first time on toilet) and/or a series of good days.

Provided she is ready physically and doesnt have pain from a UTI or constipation, this might work? It takes a few weeks - it's very slow. Apparently it can feel weird to some kids.

We got ours from hysterical refusal to poo in the potty to strolling into (only once or twice) the nursery loo and squeezing one out then shouting for her key worker to bring toilet roll LOL!!


Thank you for your reply!

I think I’ll give that a go- try an get her on the potty but still with a nappy on. My only trouble is that as soon as I get the potty out, she goes absolutely nuts an throws it back in the cupboard! I haven’t had it out for months because just the mention of the word makes her go crazy. It’s so frustrating!!!!


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