Son aged 11 with complex special needs help with training ....

Hi there

I am new to this site so hello!

I have been trying to train my son for 6 months (to be fair, a relaxed approach with just trying to raise awareness of the situation).

He recognises what the toilet is for and we have had a couple of successes at home (first thing in the morning really) but school (special needs school) say they have had no success even though they try every 40 mins.

I think he may be just holding it and waiting for the nappy to go back on....

we have tried going straight to pants but this doesn't seem to bother him.

Any help, advice, tools or techniques others have used??? I appreciate its amlong journey but I do think once it clicks in his head we might start to see more success (ever the optimist!).

Thank you for reading

Kay

[ERIC-Charity Partner]

Hi Kay, That's great that you've had some success with the toilet training. What can be useful before you start, is working out how long he can go between wee's. You don't say whether he is in nappies/pull-ups at the moment but have you tried putting a bit of kitchen roll in the nappy or even cheap cotton pants? This way you can work out roughly how often he is weeing and plan a toilet routine around that. Nappies/pull-ups are so good at locking away moisture it can be hard to tell if he is wet. He might be able to go 1.5 -2 hours between wee's in which case helping him to go every 40 minutes isn't a good plan. Putting that kitchen roll/pants under his nappy might also help with learning the sensation of damp and associating it with weeing which will help with toilet training. Does he so for a poo every day? Natalie@ERIC

[Hidden in reply to ERIC-Charity]

Hi

Thank you for replying. He is in nappies but sometimes pull ups (as some trousers for a 11 year old don't tend to allow space for nappies).

I will try the kitchen roll idea. Thank you

He poos 3/4 times a day... haven't focused on that at all. Should I start with that before wee

Training ?

[Joe11Help]

Hi Kay, I am new to this site and just read your comment. I,m right where you are at as well. My son is also 11 and has autism. He is constantly wet, wearing pull ups which I can,t get past. He refuses to be without them on, suffering terrible aniexty. He simply cannot seem to go without them due to the sensory feeling of the padding. He too knows what the toilet is for and I think he feels that if he proves he can remain dry he,ll lose his pull up. I would say it's definitely more of a psychological problem. I,ve tried every possible approach and it's all failed, I feel like I,m banging my head against a brick wall. Just wanted to say that you are not alone.

Gail

[OlivesYou in reply to Joe11Help]

Hi I’m new to this group... my son is autistic as well... how is it going now??

[Astori]

Hi,lots of greetings to you and your little one.

1)Some friends adviced with some children work the reward like lolly or smarties or their favourite fruits,maybe just for triy and going there something smaller,and if it happend succesfully then something bigger,also tone of voice,or also it dippend on the child communication,in which way is able understand and what is not able(some children are for example more visual oriented etc- to put favourite colour or sticker..)

2)I would like to ask you something -You mention that your child is able to understand what is the toilet for - I also have special needs child - I would like to ask you how did you were able to explain to the child- as we had success with pu - as we were able to see his facial expresion and take him and before show him from his nappies,so he got the idea and we had some success with pu.

But with vivi ,we not sure if he understand,that it goes into toilet,so how to explain.He is able to be without napies and do in shower or hallway or around the bath,but dont wont into potty or toilet,eventhough offen we take him there reguarly or even when we on trip he able to sit on the restaurant toilet well,but doesnt wont to do there.

Wish you the best..Hope to hear from you

[OlivesYou in reply to Astori]

Hi I am new to the group now. I have a have an autistic son as well how is it going now??

[Astori in reply to OlivesYou]

Not very well.he does some training at school and we try to take him to toilet, but he does not feel like doing it there.

[OlivesYou in reply to Astori]

My son has started to see an occupational therapist since we feel like this is the only issue left, sensory. We are just starting with the Wilbarger Protocol for sensory integration. Do you have access to an OT?