I can't stand it. I have been sick, lost my bowels in bed and my bladder, when I had just gone. The sordid truth we have to hide. Far from the mdding crowd, and hidden.I am missing out at my career as a teacher, and my vocation of being a mum.
It hurts so much physically, and I am a poor example mentally.
I cannot eàt more than one, slow, meal of soup, potato or rice a day.
I am wasting away, apart from this huge weight, growing inside me.
But I am waiting. Waiting like so many of you for the hope of a reprieve, even for a short while, for an operation filled with hope.
So near, but yet so far that I am asked whether I want to stay on the list.
But that list is my hope. It leads me to my dreams. To my salvage. To me.
Hope is there, but so far.
So we do, all of us. We do, without the strength, and push without the energy. While life passes us by. In a haze, all consuming.
There must be light. A glimmer. What a wonderful world we live in. With dreams, and real developments that take us far beyond the lives we live, and the physical detriments we suffer.
And yet we still wait.
