Is my only friendgiving me a hint? - Ehlers-Danlos Sup...

Ehlers-Danlos Support UK

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Is my only friendgiving me a hint?

Country4eva profile image
5 Replies

I only have one friend left since i got diagnosed. She is my cousin and has numerous issues as well. Last night she called me wanting advice. She had someone friend her on facebook. Facebook is the only socialization she has cause she does not go out. I told her to be careful of having strangers as friends on facebook cause it could cause her trouble. She told me she was trying to find someone else to talk to cause she didnt want to worry me. I was so hurt. We have been close for over 40 years. Her husband does not take her anywhere and her son is 19 and want work or go to school and her daughter wants nothing to do with her and she says everything is her fault. Y is she pushing me away?

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Country4eva profile image
Country4eva
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5 Replies
Boombiddy profile image
Boombiddy

Hiya, I am sorry to hear of your isolation with this horrid condition.

I am wondering if your friend may be just feeling she's "not worth it", and maybe need reassurance.

I am guessing this from experience, because when I am feeling low I withdraw from friends, as I don't want to be hard work. (I actually feel I am doing them a favour!)

I am grateful for the reassurance that I am still "worth it", that my friends still value me, and that I still am good company even though I don't feel it. I can function better as a friend cos I know I have something to give. Maybe your friend may feel the same.

She may just be trying to spare you her low mood cos she doesn't want to lose you.

Best wishes from Boombiddy.

Country4eva profile image
Country4eva in reply to Boombiddy

Im concerned of her turning to FB to strangers. I have had horrible experiences doing that. I dont want her to get raken advantage of. Herhusband leaves her every night. Her sonwant work and her daughter want speak to her. Shesays thisbis all her fault and its not. Turning to a stranger on FB is not the answer. I hope you keep ur head held high. We are allvworth something

Boombiddy profile image
Boombiddy in reply to Country4eva

Thankyou Country4eva. I wonder, if u nag her about this FB thing she probably won't listen. But if you just carry on being a friend, letting her know she's appreciated, she may go off the idea.

Best from B

BadHare profile image
BadHare

Don't we all do that on HU? It might just be that she wants to extend her social circle.

I occasionally sound off on other forums as it seems better than moaning at friends & family who have their own stresses. Sometimes strangers are impartial & better at listening without prior judgement. Who she's talking to is another issue, so make sure she is aware of how to be safe online.

Country4eva profile image
Country4eva

She is sitting down from people and life. Her health is not good. She is left home by herself all night and her spouse sleeps all day to keep from interacting. She has lashed out and attacked him and ended up involuntarily committed for her safety. I have had to step back and let God take this as she will listen to no one. I am scared for her.☹

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