I'm feeling totally deflated tonight. I couldn't get an appointment with the GP regarding my bladder prolapse so after exhausting every avenue to get advice I went to the walk in centre. Well I wish I hadn't. I was made to feel so small and if I was complaining about nothing as many women walk around with prolapses suffering incontinence and shoving the prolapse back up with a tissue rather than see their GP. I bet they don't have a body that's falling apart with all their insides with it or suffer chronic pain daily as a result of their conditions. I even contacted the bowel and bladder foundation for advice, as I thought what better place to go to, but because of the complexities caused by a connective tissue disorder declined advice asking me to seek support from a specialist. I am fighting so hard to keep it together, go to work, run a household, support my husband through renal and heart failure, as well as try to support my kids but no one will take collective responsibility for everything that's going wrong with me. In my line of work we have a duty of care to the adults we support but where's that duty of care when it comes to me? It's non existent. I've not slept more than 3 hours a day for days due to the ongoing issues with my bladder and bowel and this has increased the issues further. I have to strain to move a bowel movement, which forces the prolapse further down, and half the time I'm having to strain to pass urine. I feel as if I need a wee all the time and with the bladder always in retention the prolapse is making that worse. I could cry but know if I do that I won't stop. I've been told not to go to A&E as I'll be turned away as its not considered an emergency. I'm so sorry to rant, as I usually smile through things, but I'm finding that much more difficult. Xx
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