taken seriously

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I had a chest infection in 2005, which did not clear even with double dose antibiotics.I developed a tremor in my right leg which travelled through my body .I ended up in a poor state with ticks.shakes,balance problems,exhaustion,memory loss,joint pain, my speech was affected and was sent to aberdeen for further examinations as they thought i had MS,stroke or acute parkinsons.I have never been so scared,they did test upon test and nothing definite showed up so the diagnosis was acute post viral chronic fatigue.My whole life changed,I was an independant person who now had to rely on people and family to function.I had to give up my job working with horses and ponies,sell my equines and succumb to this path of illlness.Now 8 years on I have had to accept it will not leave and mentally fight each day.Medication is given by my doctor but I feel they have no real interest in helping understand what happened to me.This year I am going to try and work part- time and am retraining my muscles and mind.It is wonderful that a link like this is available and if I can help anyone please feel free to message me.

[tettridge]

Hi

I had similar when I was first diagnosed, I was in hospital because my temperature was going up and down like a yo-yo, I could not stay awake for over three hours and various other problems. I have been fighting it for over twenty years and for the most part if not totally winning then perhaps holding my own with it.

I do agree somewhat with what you say about the doctors, they put a label on it and just dish out the tablets with no understanding as to what you are going through in life, losing the ability to be one's own person to having to rely on other people.

You are being very realistic in looking at life and I wish you all the best in your future endeavours and the best for 2013

Kindest regards

Terry

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Thank you Terry, its good to know people who understand.All the best for 2013 xx

[Tearsofaclown]

Hi,

I couldn't help but feel inspired by your words, encouraging and realistic. Thank you for making my day. Regards & Best Wishes & Good Luck, to you. Tearsofaclown.

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If I can support and help in anyway or just to keep in touch on the tough days please feel free to leave an email address for me to keep in touch . you have to fight ! be strong

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I feel desperately sorry for you having to give up your horses, I had to sell my last one 6 years ago when my marriage broke down and I moved to Cornwall from Yorkshire, I had worked on and run livery yards and a veterinary clinic, competed affiliated dressage and loved showing my cobs. Despite depression and exhaustion and the struggle to get through every day I did manage two years ago to scrape some money together and buy a cheap "problem" horse, there is no doubt in my mind or my new partners mind that that horse is the only reason I get out of bed. I spend a few hours a day with him at the yard, sometimes I manage a ride but competition is out of the question. I come home literally exhausted and in pain and yet other people at the yard (it's a competition/dealers yard) seem to constantly riding/competing or doing stuff and I dont understand how they keep going when the simplest tasks leave me worn out and I go home and collapse it makes me feel ashamed and pathetic, but knowing I have to go and look after him keeps me moving. It would be the easy (and expensive) option to have him on full livery but having him on DIY is what motivates me and helps to keep the worst of the depression at bay. It was a huge effort to get him and try sort his problems and I'm nearly there so I just keep going despite the exhaustion, I know I have to or I would just curl up in to a ball and give up. Its pointless relying on doctors, I have a few friends who understand there is a problem and I know they are there if I need them but I know they have their own lives and problems so I make a huge effort to keep going and not be a burden. So it is possible to keep going and fight through pain and exhaustion because I've learned that life is worth living even when it just seems pointless. I set myself small goals everyday that I know I can achieve, if I fail I just write it off, there's always tomorrow. Today for example, despite being awake since 2am with pain in my legs for some strange reason, I allowed myself a lie in, got up, went to the yard with a sandwich and a flask of coffee, had a short ride on the arena, put the horse in his paddock, mucked out then just sat in the tack room and had a good rest, then took my time doing the rest of the usual horsey stuff, brought him in fed him and came home. Tomorrow I won't ride but I will spend time grooming him and cleaning his tack. So you can do it, just be kind to yourself! I hope this helps, as a horsey person I know where you are coming from.