What to do?

[Georgina69]

I posted here some months ago that I was struggling to reduce how much I was drinking. Since then my husband sadly passed away suddenly in February this year and my drinking gas increased significantly. I wouldn't say its out of control because I know how much and when to stop. BUT it is too much for a healthy lifestyle and I don't know how much longer I can cope. I am 70 years old and wonder how many years I've got or really want to be around.

[Starrlight]

❤️((((((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))))) ❤️

[SoberDrunk1]

Sorry to hear your loss. Unfortunately its part of life. I was reading a book by an American Monk who while on search of God was going via various countries to reach India and in some Monastry in Italy he saw some Monks meditate by a catacombs filled with skeletons wearing monk robes pointing to a sign that reads “as you are now we used to be. As we are now you will be”. About drinking and way to stop. If you are an alcoholic, you dont have to have a reason to drink. We drink because we are alcoholic. One should have realization that the mind of the alcoholic is cunning baffling and powerful. It can fool us into believing that its going to be fine this time. And we pick up. The problem is, we also have some thing called physical craving. The body wants more once we put one or two drinks. For some, its consistent, for some it will happen once in a while. Normal drinks do not have this issue. They can take one or 2 drinks and stop. The unmanageability of emotions is also a factor, we call it the spiritual malady. Some of its manifestations are boredom, irritability, restlessness, discontentedness, anxiety, worry.......If we dont address it, it will lead us back to what the book AA calls it as "peculiar mental twist". We succumb to the desire again and we pick up. Its a vicious cycle.

[FatOldMan]

So sorry to hear about the loss of your husband, no wonder you are feeling so down. The alcohol might give you a temporary reprieve from your troubles but it is not a friend because afterwards the depression and hopelessness just returns even worse.I have lived with this for many years now and know the feeling well. You say that your drinking is not out of control, is that really true or just what you tell yourself. Unless you've cut down drastically since your previous posts ,I suggest that you are like me and know what you should be doing but don't, that is not in control. Might I suggest a trip to your doctor, some of my friends have been prescribed anti depressants on the death of a spouse and it helped them. Also tell them about your struggle with alcohol they have many ways to help. I hope that my reply doesn't sound like preaching, I'm trying to be supportive like others in this group have been for me. I have managed to cut my alcohol consumption by more than half and now enjoy drink free days and really enjoy waking up in the morning without a hangover.

I wish you all the best and a long and much happier future.

[chloe40]

Hello Georgina69

Really sorry to read of your husbands loss.

I am wondering if his illness played a part in your drinking and that as the stress and worry increased, so did your drinking.

I pleased you have come here for support, which it is major factor in recovery, we all need it, so please do pop in as much as you can and let us know how you're getting on.

Many used AA and that may be a route for you , others have tried support and distraction, I hope you find one that suits you.

We're with you!

Chloe

[LilyAnnepuppy Ambassador]

I’m so sorry for your loss. Keep checking in with us as you are on your drink free (or moderation) journey.