Hello

[bowler1871]

So 99% of the time I drink I now black out and have no memory of most of the day/evening before. Often waking up the next day and sipping on a spirit to delay the inevitable. I don’t drink every day but when I do, I do. Quite often make a fool of myself with no memory of doing so. Dry January in process. Hoping it will be the start of a sober me.

[Hidden]

hi, interested to know why you can have a days off but then go to the extreme, knowing how the night ends up?

[bowler1871 in reply to Hidden]

unfortunately I kid myself that I can pace myself and control it, think I am in control and then bang, next thing I know it’s the next day, cuts and bruises, lost wallets, keys, chucked out of somewhere, friends not talking, etc etc

[Hidden in reply to bowler1871]

yes that next day is the worst…guilt, fighting ourselves to not do it again. I used be the same until I had my kids. I have settled down a lot but still drink more than I should.

Hope you work things out. Do you have supportive friends? Can you ask for genuine serious help?

My friends don’t take me seriously because I’m the life and soul. Don’t really understand the battle I face behind closed doors. Hense this group.

This group is helping me to think about things though, hope it helps you too. Even just a little change can have a big impact 😃

[SoberDrunk1]

Trouble starts after we put down the drink. Our emotions come off unglued. And the mind tricks us back into drinking. Please read the chapter on alcoholism in the book alcoholics anonymous.

[Treesong2023]

Hello Bowler, I am new to the site, and I think I am on my way to being an alcoholic. That's why I am here with these good folks. I am scared of the harm drinking does. Let me send you a ton of encouragement for your Dry January. I think it's a very very good move. It is also a recognition to yourself that you have a problem ( and it appears to be an increasingly serious one?) ...with your drinking.

I hope the sober you can look at the causes or drivers of your drinking. Why you drink yourself to oblivion?

Do you feel you know why? And are ready to try and address that? I think it's another good move myself, and I hope you don't mind me asking you about it.

Mine are long term family troubles and depression, then COVID came along and ramped it all up! I stopped drinking before Christmas, and it hasn't been easy, but I am ( like you ) trying to apply my will power to get control. As I know drinking party me, isn't the real me, and my drinking is harming my body and mind, greatly.

I wish you well.

K. 🌻

[Hidden in reply to Treesong2023]

well done to you too for taking that step. 😃

[EC45 in reply to Hidden]

hi! I’m just reading your story and comments and I’m interested to hear how you are getting on? Your story sounds very similar to mine 🤦🏻‍♀️ black outs, and waking up thinking “oh no, who did I text/insult last night!”