As a follow-up question to "how are you doing", I am amazed how many people say "you are looking good." Always respond "you know that means you're over 60 with a named diagnosis. I never heard it before."
You are looking good!: As a follow-up... - Cure Parkinson's
You are looking good!
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My replies to "You're looking good": "I wish I felt it" or "I hear Spec Savers have some good offers on at the moment!"
I understand this . It feels as if they are negating the way you feel, If you look good, then you're ok and there's no health issues.
That is such a negative way of looking at things. I exercise regularly... watch my diet... and keep moving. In some ways I am in better shape than I was before diagnosis. So I take to mean just that.... I look good, and they are glad to see I am not giving in. The only correct response is 'Thank you!"
I was relating my feelings, as opposed to the correct response . And I don't think my feelings are incorrect, as I also have had people compare it to a cold.
Yes... no doubt some people are idiots (I am resisting the urge to make a political statement here.) But if you in fact you do look good then you are doing something right in terms of staying active and eating right, taking the right balance of meds so you should feel good about the compliment as well. Perhaps an appropriate response for you might be "Well it is tough but I am doing my best to fight this thing everyday so thank you.... I appreciate the compliment."
Thank you dumelkin. I just googled "snarky" and, yes, I am a bit snarky. I was trying to promote humor recognizing that digital messages carry no intonation.
Right on! After 30+ years of being a surgeon/teacher, you have long since earned the right to break free from the vanilla-flavored "bedside manner" and snap your interlocutors awake with a dash of salt and pepper! And besides, look how far dropping "political correctness" has gotten a certain businessman named Donald.
I love it that so many people say the same thing to me as I work hard to maintain myself in as good a physical state as possible. I feel grateful not to receive pitying looks but don't hide that I have PD.
I agree - I am always surprised when people say "How ARE you?" I am just the same person as before my diagnosis and don't need sympathy.
Tribselyov,
I know some ppl will say that as a response when no others come to mind I guess. I wish i heard it more because when I don't ever hear it I know i must look bad. My OBGYN used to always say" I can't believe you are in your 40's, you look so young". It was nice because i felt he was being sincere, most of the time i feel ppl are being polite or are at a loss for words, as I thank them and i just kind of laugh it off privately.
Last visit to my Dr, he said "you have gained some weight and should go on a diet". No you look too young to be in your 40's comments and then my sister told me that I look like I am in my 70's in my profile picture. Guess it is time to work harder at "looking so young". My Father swears that I dye my hair and that is why there is no grey. I am fortunate to have dark hair, my Grandmother, his Mother, passed in her late 70's with dark hair and hardly any signs of grey and she didn't dye hair. I have PD, some days it is all I can do to wash my hair let alone the maintaining of dying it.
As far as hiding my PD.... I used to try and hide it to avoid rude comments like "are you on drugs?" "why do you shake like that?" esp when i was younger. Now I am to a stage where there is no hiding it... I have PD and that's the card I was dealt.
So although I don't appreciate fake or pity comments of any sort, I do appreciate the sincere "you look good" comments. I think everyone likes to hear positive reinforcements that you still have attractive qualities, although you may feel exhausted on the inside, lol.
Love, Darkflower
xxxxx
Never
by Wes Wilson
.
Come
Let's sit a spell
Intimacy
The truth we'll tell
.
For you
Whom I call my friend
Never
The truth I'll bend
.
Ask me
Whatever
I said
Never!
.
My health?
Please that's too gory
Never
Expect to hear that story
.
"I am fine"
Perhaps a lie
All I'll tell
Until I die
.