Well, as to be expected having thrown myself back into training for three whole days I decided I was up to full scale marauding. (I know I announced last week that I was marching on Leodis but actually I was being carried there in my sedan chair.)
Having found a senior centurion willing to take me out, but fairly sure poppypug and the divine Laura would say no to a request about marauding, I ninja-ed up and sneaking through the alleyways north of the main markets behind the haberdashery I jumped into a waiting chariot.
Initially it was most exciting. Not terribly glamorous, cooped up on the floor of a basic model carriage - but I had asked for adventure. I do think the centurion was kicking me at times - surely the roads are not that bumpy - but he said it would be the best way of getting me out of Rome.
Having left the city we continued north to find the barbaries I so desperately wanted to attack. I did feel a little foolish when the head of the out-of-town unit looked dubiously at me and announced we might need a little extra equipment to help me along. He said that he would assign two of the young trainees with whom I had travelled north to stay by my side so I could 'help them out if they needed it'. (I'm sure I heard sniggering from behind the tents when he said this.)
The young, truly athletic heroes bounded away, disappearing into the trees almost instantly. I heard shrieks of joy, ecstasy, anger, anguish and pain ahead of me. Why I had decided this was a good idea?
I am no longer the tall, lithe, hero of the past. (Who did I hear say 'Were you ever?' There'll be trouble at' mill if I find out.)
Finally I made it through the trees. I spent quite a while 'helping out' the trainees - they seemed very adept for beginners!
I struggled over to the commissary and ordered an erotic Solero. (More sniggering heard.) I understood why when I tied the wrapper up into an OCD knot and realised it said 'exotic' not 'erotic'.
Transported back to town by the 'soon-to-be thrown to the lions' centurion I sank into a bath of warm cocoa and felt pride in my achievement. Just wait til I get down to the haberdashery and tell poppypug and Doug about this!
Waking up this morning I realise why poppypug and the divine Laura would not have let me go. Luckily it is raining copiously and I have visitors coming so there is no need for movement further from one courtyard fountain to the next.
I will certainly think twice before repeating that adventure again; or at least wait until I've lost a few stones.
