I have really struggled mentally more than anything with continuous running. I got to week 8 and decided to start walk/run to get to 5k. This was about 5 weeks ago. About 4 weeks ago I was forced to run outside due to a holiday. I was really worried but although very different it has been the best thing. It has taken 4 weeks of walk/runs and MANY bad runs feeling like a failure. I figured that even if I walk 5k that is better for me than sitting on the couch. My 5k time is still between 41-45 mins and getting better but I still didn't feel right. I can't explain why really.
SO last night I decided to go out a enjoy my run/walk. It was a beautiful night and we live by the sea. I took my garmin only to measure my heart rate. The first k was my usual out of breath (can't do this, I am rubbish unfit and fat) I then made myself slow down so much I have actually walked faster but no matter I was chugging along nicely with only a couple of walks. By 3k I started to enjoy the view and wasn't hanging on to every second that will get me to the end! Something changed and I just kept going (slowly) before I knew it 5k had come and gone. I actually did 7k and ran the last 4 without a walk break. I actually felt like a runner and I enjoyed it for the first time EVER! I got home shed a tear and realised that all the hard work, sweat and pain has paid off even if it is only for that one run. It was my slowest run (only managing 9.5 min Ks but I don't mind. ) I know it won't be my only enjoyable run because I now know I can do it. Having a positive mental attitude is so important. I am positive I ran for more that 30 mins continuously so I am taking that as week 9 run 1. Graduation here I come even if it was the long way around.
My message to all who are struggling- keep getting out there. Bad runs are still runs and they all add up. There will be a moment when it comes together and it is all worth it.