Free For All on Friday

Wow, what a cold Friday morning it is here. I heard mention of the 'winter to come' on a radio program this morning and wondered if the presenter had had the memo saying that winter's here already (as far as I'm concerned, anyway).

But whatever the temperature, it's Friday once again, and I'm issuing my usual invitation to post off-topic if you would like, today. As always please stay within community guidelines when doing so.

Wishing any newcomers to the group a warm welcome too and we're happy to have you here. Please do join in with your questions or experiences.

This has been a bit of a troubled week for me after my sister (whose husband has advanced dementia) told me that she is now struggling to cope, because he's waking in the night in confusion and imagining that he needs to go and fight someone. It's hugely worrying. Her home's not really suitable for the situation and it's really scary to imagine her (at 84) trying to keep him safe from falling downstairs or lashing out at her in his confusion.

Have any of you had this to deal with, and if so how did you cope?

I want to send a huge thanks to Hellebelle who first mentioned dementia nurses to me, as my sister now has one and I'm hoping she can get help and support through her.

As so many of us know, the burden of caring can become very heavy indeed, and probably never more so than at present when resources are stretched beyond limits through prolonged neglect as well as the current pandemic.

On a brighter note I've been busy crafting at home myself, working on a new journal for 2022. I'm not at all accomplished or fussy about mine but I do like to do my own so I can put in sections that I'll really use, rather than a lot of space where I'm supposed to make a record of what I did, because that never lasts past 6th January!

What have all of you been up to this week?

I'll leave you with a quotation that popped up on my phone this morning.

“In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life. It goes on.”

-ROBERT FROST-

[Jennymary]

I've been home 2 weeks now, all clothes are put away, and all post dealt with. As the op was 6 weeks ago I can do gentle bending so yesterday I put some boxes of cereal into a kitchen cupboard, on the top shelf and generally tried to tidy the kitchen. The red Cross lady who was coming out, rang me on Monday and went through a few things but she's not qualified to teach me how to use the stick outside, but when I do know she'll come round and support me on a trip to the local shops. My social worker knows my situation, I need to be confident walking outside before I go back to work so yesterday she contacted a different team, I'm already on one waiting list for this, and the OT rang and is coming out Wednesday to help with my mobility outside

[Lynd in reply to Jennymary]

Pleased it's going well. X

[Hidden in reply to Jennymary]

Hi Jennymary, you continue to do so well. You're amazing at just getting on with things. I know you must be frustrated at still not being allowed to go out, but at least it looks as if there will be a solution at hand once you can get to grips with safely using your stick.

[sassy59 in reply to Jennymary]

You seem to be doing amazingly Jennymary, and I hope you continue to do well. Have a good weekend. Xxx

[Lynd]

Goodness knows how your sister copes Sue. My heart goes out to them both. Does distraction work? Music maybe. Hope that nurse can help.My neighbor knocked our door at 2.30 am not long ago. Sadly he has dementia. His daughter has managed to get him into hospital, he also has cancer. So sad, he had a very full life.

With aggressive behavior I don't see how a lady that age can cope.

[Hidden in reply to Lynd]

Thank you Lynd, I think it is far too much for her. Some of this is her desire to do the best she can for someone she loves dearly but I think that sometimes there comes a point when love is doing what you don't want to do.

[sassy59]

Hi Callendersgal, like Lynd I also don’t know how your sister copes with her dear husband. Aggression can be so very difficult to handle. My late mother-in-law became very aggressive but she was in a care home so they supported her with that. I hope your sister gets all the support she needs. It’s good here too but we’ve been out with our daughter and grandson to Holmbush where there is a big M&S, Tesco and Next. It was nice to get out and give the new motobility car a run. Very nice it is too.

I like the quote as life does indeed go on.

Have a good weekend everyone. Xxx👍🥰

[Hidden in reply to sassy59]

Thanks sassy59, I now feel it's all far too much for her but she won't give in. As I replied to Lynd, I think there comes a point when love is actually doing the thing you don't want to do. I hope something will come to pass which will really help her. xxx

[sassy59 in reply to Hidden]

Bless her. I think you’re right. Such a shame for both of them but I hope all will be well. Xxx

[Hidden in reply to sassy59]

Years ago I used to work in a nursing home on a weekend and there was a lady there called Margaret who had Alzheimer's who would swear and be aggressive and hit out and the senior care assistant had advised me to take it with a grain of salt!

We are fine here and watching James bond films today and have had a short walk out to the local shop for some bread and milk.

Today I was supposed to have an interview but didn't go as I was feeling worn out after I had one on Wednesday and 2 yesterday and myself and my sister in law rearranged our pub lunch for today for another time and she feels how i was right to cancel the interview this morning after having had loads already this week.

[Isinatra]

Life goes on…a person does their best to keep up. I find it easier as I’ve aged to let some of it roll on by. Just can’t keep up anymore. I have to prioritize things now. Itz all good, though.

I’ve given limited care to two people with advanced dementia. One person would be combative with their family, but not with me when she was in my care. She was 95 and strong as an ox. It usually took two people to give her care. The other lady I cared for was in the sole care of her 63 year old single daughter. Same thing….the lady, who I had known for twenty years, was nice to me, but not her daughter. She views her daughter as her captor. The family has hired a 24/7 nurse for five days of the week. I saw a deterioration of the daughter’s patience with her mother and and the daughter getting back injuries from having to lift her mother constantly. The family has to cover the expenses themselves, but they would rather do that than put their mother in a facility. It’s so hard to let a loved one go……

Yesterday was Thanksgiving here in the states. A friend brought me a ton of home made goodies and not just desserts. It’s been difficult to get to the store lately so it all was much appreciated. Watched Respect about Aretha Franklin. Even sang along with the music. Today, I’m chillaxing 😎and not going to count any calories. 😋Have a nice weekend everyone!🌈

[Hidden]

Busy week this week going to interviews and had my sister in law here for lunch today as we decided to postpone our pub visit this lunchtime dor another day.

We have been for a walk to the shop and back today for milk and bread and I have made some carrot and parsnip soup this afternoon as well as watching James bond films.

Yesterday I had 2 interviews in the one day and one on Wednesday as well and didn't get any of them but feel it was a blessing in disguise as 2 were only temporary anyway!

Good news I got a letter yesterday inviting me to a covid booster jab a week tomorrow at 4.20pm at our local vaccine centre not far from where I live.

Wednesday coming it's a phone doctors appointment any time between 1 and 6pm so I have said no to interviews that day but have them next week Monday, Tuesday and Friday and then the jab next Saturday afternoon so busy times ahead!

This morning I was worn out after all those interviews yesterday that I rang a place I was due to have one today to apologise to say I wouldn't be going ad something urgent had come up rather than just not turning up and rang my sister in law to explain and we decided to put the pub lunch off dor another day and had sandwiches together instead!

Baby is well and still getting spoilt!

[thara9643]

I read a interesting post on learning French etc on another website I use. I have now bookmarked it as it was useful indeed. This week I have been to the local shops in order to buy myself all kinds of nice things for my Christmas Day. Next week I might even go to a local bakery shop for some cool cakes. I am even planning to fit in a visit to a charity shop elsewhere for a rummage and see what I can find to give away as Xmas gifts and presents. I picked up red candy canes and a cheap box of cards already however.