Firstly, I hope that storm Caira didn’t cause anyone damage or cancellation of plans. I was fortunate not to have been affected at all, and was safe at home. I’ve read how dreadful it’s been for some, in particular with regard to flooding, and I’m hoping that none of our community has suffered that.
Next, a welcome to last week’s newcomers to the Care Community. I hope you’ll find us a useful resource and that you’ll join in to help with your own expertise and views, or just find a shoulder to lean on when needed. We have lots of members with a wealth of personal knowledge in all aspects of caring and a mountain of empathy and support.
I loved the lively discussions towards the end of last week, one on the topic of benefits and another on the subject of memory books, so many thanks to everyone who contributed, and I hope it helped those who posted to find solutions to their problems. It'll go on helping too, as your answers are there to be found by others, later.
On a personal note I had a bit of a difficult week. On Thursday my husband learned his mum had died in her home country of Guyana, in South America. She had been quite challenging to deal with in her last years and it was difficult for us from such a long distance. Guyana isn’t as developed as the UK, and we knew she wasn’t getting the support she needed, and then, in addition, often refused our help too.
Anyway, my husband’s had to get a last minute flight to Guyana and I waved him off early this morning, hoping there won’t be any delays following yesterday’s storm, as it’s such a long journey. I’d have loved to be with him for support, but the cost of getting there is astronomical so I’m here in the role of ‘they also serve who only stand and wait’.
Mum-in-law's passing has caused mixed feelings because of her troubled life in later years. Any of you who have lost close loved ones who had a reduced quality of life will probably understand that strange mixture of sorrow and yet relief.
If we have any member of our community in a similar situation right now, my heart goes out to you, and I wish you courage in coming days.
Otherwise I wish everyone a good week going forward, and please do post if you are struggling with anything. We always aim to help as best we can.
Thank you for your concern for us all Callendersgal, luckily we haven’t suffered too much from storm damage. I feel for those who are not so fortunate.
I’m so sorry to hear of your mother in laws passing and can totally empathise with how you and your husband are feeling. I do hope he has a safe journey and things run smoothly in Guyana.
Thanks so much sassy59. I really appreciate your ever-present support. Happy to report that my husband’s at the airport now and no delay to his flight! Thanks again x
Condolences on the loss of your Mother in Law, this week I've got my first, and possibly only, appt about my osteoporosis, I'm not taking any of the meds they're offering and I'm going to try and find out why 6 yrs ago when I had a T score of - 2.4 with - 2.5 being osteoporosis no one thought to tell me. Last week was a bit strange, one day the mobile rang and it was mum's care home, answered it braced for bad news but they wanted to know if we were happy for mum to get a visit from the hairdresser, which we are, I also paid my electric bill in the week and then Friday get another one for 6 days of usage, rang them feeling really angry as I've never had a bill for that amount of time, lady I spoke to raised a complaint said she'd put me hold for a couple of minutes to find out what was happening, I asked her to ring me back which she did and she's raised another bill saying there's nothing owing.
Thanks for your condolences Jennymary. You’re having something of an up and down time at the moment. I hope you get the answers to your question about that T score so long ago, when knowing could have made such a difference to you in how you chose to go forward with your osteoporosis. But asking why you didn’t get your result at the time is definitely the way to go at this appointment.
And well done for challenging your energy bill. There are so many mistakes made in billing these days that it’s infuriating and I’m so glad it was sorted out without too much trouble.
On the other hand, really encouraging about your mum’s care home offering to get her hair done. Hair’s so important isn’t it and it can be a real tonic to have it spruced up. And lovely that it was good news, not bad.
Great to see your update and I hope that this will be a successful and good week for you. All the best to both you and your mum.
Hi Hidden Thank you for your consideration when you have enough going on so I hope that your hubby has a good journey.
My mum was on morphine patches for 6 months before she died and I was visiting her when she fell asleep I sneezed and mum said whose that and I said me and mum said Oh I thought you'd gone...it was a 250 mile round trip which I made weekly.
So I can 100% relate to what you say about your mum in law may she RIP.
Jerry 😊
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Thanks so much for your kind thoughts Jerry and for sharing your memories of your last moments with your mum with us. I think it helps a bit if you can be there at the end and I hope that knowing that, has brought you some peace ever since she left you.
Hi Callendersgal, I send my sincere condolences for the death of your mother in law. I do understand the mixture of sadness and relief as I had the same with my dad. His last years were terrible for him because of the neurological condition he had. It has made me very sad that he missed out on years of healthy life. This is mixed with relief that he isn't suffering anymore.
Your husband will probably be struggling with many different emotions also.
Wishing you well in the coming weeks.
Hi Hellebelle,
Thanks so much for your condolences and good wishes. It does help such a lot to know there are such supportive people here in our group. I know that your own loss must still be very raw at the moment, as your own dear dad died not long ago. It's impossible not to feel the grief, and yet it feels a bit selfish too, when your lost loved one had been suffering so much. As you say, my husband will no doubt feel a whole range of emotions over the coming time, but I do know that, deep inside, this was a merciful release.
Thanks again so much for your post, at a time that is difficult for you too. Very best wishes.
Hope everybody is keeping warm. We have had snow today. Our very old house is very hard to keep warm so as usual not looking forward to the fuel bill.
We are doing ok at the moment.
Yet another problem. My Husband has been discharged from his consultant at one hospital. This is after a battle through the GP to get him a consultant appointment as he hasn't seen a heart specialist since his cardiac arrest 17 months ago.. It transpires he got lost in the system.
Now I have a letter from another hospital for tests he has just had. Hospital 1 said discharged. It all adds to the stress.
Anyway hope everybody ok.
Thanks for your kind words Lynd.
Snow at the end of such a mild winter always comes as a bit of an unwelcome visitor doesn't it? I hope you'll be able to stave off the cold without breaking the bank. I do often envy people living in older houses, but the upside of having a tiny modern flat is that it's always warm without even putting the heating on.
I'm glad you feel you are both doing OK, but it must be infuriating to have found your husband discharged by one of his Consultants when you'd struggled with your GP to get referred in the first place. Nothing seems to be talked through adequately these days and so often we don't find out it's happened until we get a letter, when it's too late for discussion. It does make stress levels rise!
Take care anyway, and stay warm too. Hope your snow doesn't linger too long.
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Monday roundup
