This week for me has been a sad and poignant one, of endings and letting go of close friends (including our vicar and family) who have moved onto pastures new after 21 years, as well as other friends and colleagues who have moved due to the closure of a much-loved specialist hospital that has closed its doors after nearly 300 years serving the local community that I've been closely associated with. Tears have flowed and reassurances that we will stay in touch doesn't lessen the pain of endings. Some folks can move on quicker than others. But I believe at times like these it's like experiencing a sense of grief and bereavement which mirrors the death of loved ones. Everyone deals with it in their own way, but for a time it's like someone said to me, 'I've buried my head in the sand and didn't want to accept that it was happening'. It takes time to process our feelings at times like these, and there's no time frame to complete that process. It's like being in a sense of limbo as we adjust to a new norm. But endings bring new beginnings and hope for the future even though we may not know what that future may look like yet, it is the circle of life (as The Lion King movie puts it)!
So if you have been facing an ending in your life and trying to come to terms with a new norm, a new beginning, know that you are not alone, and we are here for you, listening and ready to come alongside you to support and encourage you. Be gentle with yourselves in the weeks ahead.
"May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of his hand."
(Irish Blessing)
Best wishes,
MAS Nurse and Moderator
Written by
MAS_Nurse
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Hello MAS_Nurse, sorry to hear about your sad week and the closure of a much loved hospital. It will take time to come to terms with what has happened so be sure to give yourself that time. It is, as you say, like a grieving process so allow yourself to grieve and look forward to meeting up with friends and colleagues soon.
The weather is certainly changing now and Christmas seems to be popping up everywhere. We’re enjoying every day and trying to dodge the showers.
I can relate to that feeling so I understand totally.
Lock the good feelings related to that place away in your heart and be glad you had those experiences.
Then move forward x
Poniont post I think 🤔 like bit about head in sand SOME times it’s good to distance yourself from reality especially if it’s your way to cope.
Well dad’s doing well really given heart pills was reduced mainly becouse he could no longer take them AS to me turns out I have mass in abdomen next to colon SO much for me thinking was hernia.
Having lots of heart arrhythmia AF episode’s AND still trying to keep it together and look after dad.
It’s not easy talking about stuff given ANXIETY stress.
BUT my biggest battle is deciding if we’ll enough to undergo treatment HAVE talked to mum and qualify over longevity might be answer
Clearly not happy as would not like to leave mum looking after dad ... but guess it’s out of my hands
Anyway come across this song THAT I think stubbled across THAT I find fitting for situation find myself in
Good to hear your update on dad. The challenges and decisions never stop, do they? I love The Impossible Dream and have a lovely Howard Keel recording of it. It's actually very inspirational, especially in circumstances when it's hard to know how to carry on. Very best wishes.
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Hi Callendersgal think some days dad’s doing better than me.
I don’t think 🤔 much about tomorrow MORE live now O and try not to get worked up by stuff sent to try us
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I’m sure that living in the present moment is the only way to go JAS. It’s the only thing that’s real anyway. We can plan for tomorrow or next week and it might be sensible to do that, but none of us has a guarantee we’ll be there. Tomorrow can only be a hope and we can only go back to anywhere in a memory. In the here and now we can be on firm ground, moment by moment. Even if your health is no longer so great you have a very strong character and personality and I hope that will help to get you both through for a while longer yet. Best wishes.
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Hi Callendersgal defo so true .. think I might need more than stronger character BUT I live in hope.
This year as been most shocking for breathing then heart issues PERSONALY don’t think would survive any procedure’s give state of monitors at last one.
Think going to give them wide births and focus on posatives n wrong ones
I know even tho my grammar is bad and spelling HAVE had positive feed back about my complaint’s and letter writing skills.
I guess those THAT can don’t or can’t and at least I have that behind me.
Anyway liked your comment and who would think that Buddha could be so right or is it write
Thanks for comments n positive vibes
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Things like grammar and spelling are fine JAS, but it doesn’t stack up against courage or a good heart. Isn’t there a very oldnursery rhyme that begins ‘A man of words and not of deeds is like a garden full of weeds’? So I think you are doing OK! All the best!
Think your comment about quality of life over longevity is appropriate,you have to think hard.
Hi MAS_Nurse,
Buddha once said that there is no pain like the pain of parting. It's true and it doesn't really matter what causes that parting; it hurts.
There's no set end date for loss, but a widow I once met was wise enough to say she recognised that, although hers went on, she knew that her friends expected that she should have reached her 'grieve by' date, and be ready to move on.
And that really made me think hard about the people I come into contact with, especially those I know have a big sorrow in their lives, but also everyone else whose background I have no idea about.
Have you ever seen a veteran from a long past war who will still weep years later, remembering a lost comrade? It's a life lesson to realise that not everyone who suffers, shows any outward sign, but can be carrying around a broken heart, and still bravely carries on anyway.
My commiserations on your sad week. Letting go is hard to do at any time and for any reason, but time often at least lessens our suffering. And I hope that's true for you too.
I'm helping my children (grown up and middle aged) with the death of their dad at the moment and it's extra challenging as we'd parted many years ago. I'm having to try really hard to remember they are in pain.
For myself, I've done a mountain of post holiday laundry and am celebrating this weekend knowing I'm all caught up. This weekend's task is a bit of a sad one too. It's the annual putting away of summer clothes and the reappearance of winter ones. Another ending and beginning I suppose, with regret that one season's past but another is starting, and actually I usually find some old friends coming out of that winter suitcase!
Best wishes everyone, and especially those who are struggling with loss, whatever that is.
It’s good to hear your dad is doing better but not so great to read about your health problems. After all you’ve been through, all just seems wrong somehow. Life can be such a bummer at times.
Love the song and thinking of you all. Take care JAS. xxx
Hi sassy cheers n thanks ... I was thinking about my life and achievements AND guess have achieved more than others do in life time
Derelict areas I helped secure council funding dispite austerity to pretty free space up n make usable
Even got 2 xmas trees 🌲 planted by council outside me house 🏡
Think all posatives major achievements really
Also in talks with NW hospital / community care coordinator to talk about better management of post hospital community care services AS all fragmented and but of farse
That is already benefiting others AND what’s amazing I could not of done any with out people like your self AND site like this instilling confidence
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