Memory Lane

On our local TV news in the south last night there was a story about the shortage of residential care home workers and the bad image which that job traditionally has. In the course of interviewing a very lovely staff member, she mentioned how she and one of the residents had struck up a special bond through her taking him back to the church he'd had a long involvement with before his dementia diagnosis.

And it reminded me of my own mum in the months before her death. She never actually had a formal dementia diagnosis as the condition came on rapidly and very late, but one day when she was really very confused we took her out for a drive, and decided to visit some scenes that had been familiar to her in childhood, in Oxfordshire.

We were absolutely amazed at the change in her. Outside one of the old Cotswold cottages she'd grown up in, she gave us an absolute treat of information from the past and we so enjoyed her stories and remembering, and laughing (and some crying too), as she told us all about life there.

She was very peaceful for a while when we returned home. Of course it didn't last and we couldn't spend every afternoon doing that, but that afternoon became one of my treasured memories of her feeling happy and contented again, in the middle of what was a very turbulent and disturbing time for us all.

Has anyone else experienced this interesting change that comes about in the person you care for, when you take a trip down memory lane?

[sassy59]

Hi Callendersgal, my mother in law was really happy chatting about her family (brothers and sisters) when our son and I last saw her. It was the most chatty she’d been for ages.

There was a calmness about her and it was good to see.

We have the funeral on Thursday where we will celebrate her life as she liked a natter and a laugh.

Memories are good to have. Xxxxx

[Hidden in reply to sassy59]

Memories are so good to havesassy59. And it shows us that they are still there inside our loved ones with dementia, even if we have to tease them out sometimes. I'm not surprised to hear hear you had the same experience as me with your mother in law. My mum had a similar calmness just before she died. It does help to leave us with final warm memories of loved ones. Best wishes for your mother in law's funeral on Thursday, and I hope it truly will be a kind of a celebration for you, as well as your 'goodbye' to her. Thinking of you. x

[sassy59 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your kind reply Callendersgal. Xxx