Pet problems

[Rosieray]

Good morning everyone, my friends have had a gorgeous cat for 2 years, unfortunately they have both become very obsessive about it, they spend many hours looking for it and one become very anxious and upset when she goes off. It is fed a very wide range of foods and lots of it(luckily she only eats what she needs) She is not a cuddly cat. When searching they put themselves in possible danger, they are completely mobile. As far as possible you can minimise the risks but at what point do you say the risks outweigh the benefits. They both have dementia, the situation is becoming more challenging. Any suggestions please. Thank you.

[sassy59]

Good morning Rosieray, that’s a real problem isn’t it. Having dementia is bad enough and anxiety goes with that anyway so having a cat just adds to that.

I feel though that your friends have something to focus on and care for at the moment which is great but what of the future? Can you or another trusted friend/relative/neighbour help in the future care of the cat? It’s hard to predict what may happen but I hope a solution can be found even if it means the cat being re-homed eventually. Xxxxx

[Hidden]

I think someone needs to contact their social worker (presumably they have one?) or if not their doctor. They can be given some anti-anxiety medication to help with this obsession. It obviously isn't harming the cat but, as you say, it could put them in danger. Maybe you could all try to turn their obsession to something in the house or garden - maybe something as simple as growing a sunflower and seeing how well they can look after it to make it taller than yours.

[Hidden]

Hi Rosieray,

I guess this is one of those dilemmas that there's no right or perfect answer to. Summarily saying "enough's enough" and removing the cat and depriving this couple of their loved pet might have more of a bad outcome as leaving it where it is, certainly in the shorter term.

I suppose you could look at it from the perspective that, one day the cat would die and they'd be deprived of it anyway, and someone would then have to deal with the consequences, but no-one likes to be that person who says "this is the best and only way forward".

You are clearly a good and helpful friend, and if there's no-one else to take charge of the situation, and you are left to sort out any of the consequences of their getting into danger when looking for the cat, or if there are any other issues, then maybe you should just think about what you can tolerate in the situation. Any extra distress caused by removing the cat probably would fade with enough reiterations that it had 'died', or 'gone missing'.

Good luck with it. It's a very difficult one!

[FredaE]

Tricky problem

At least the cat seems to be ok so you are not having to worry about it being at risk.

I am not sure that you need to do anything except keep an eye on what happens next. They have an interest that they both share which keeps them busy. The anxiety is within them, and without the cat would probably be focussed on something else.

You know them and I don't but ,it may sound hard hearted, but I would be inclined to do nothing except be watchful