Dementia poem

[foxglove]

Some posted a poem - yesterday I think- about how a dementia carer feels. Can't seem to find. Anyone help?

[MAS_Nurse]

Hi Foxglove, I have looked for the poem and have not managed to find it. Hopefully, another forum member will be able to locate this. Best wishes.

[foxglove in reply to MAS_Nurse]

Thanks for trying, seems to have gone ! must be there somewhere perhaps it was on an Alzheimer's site I saw it

[AliBee1 in reply to MAS_Nurse]

Hi. It was posted by Revitalise but it was written by me so I will copy it as a reply to Foxglove.

[AliBee1 in reply to AliBee1]

Hi it was posted by Revitalise but written by me so I am copying it for you as below. Hope it will help you x

Dementia Care

Caring for one with dementia is a lonely affair

because of ‘you as a person’ they’re no longer aware.

They’re living their life in their own little bubble,

unaware you have needs, and might need a cuddle.

It’s not that they’re selfish but they’re very self-centred

as their view of living has become very blinkered.

But, when you’re not in sight they’ll become quite bombastic,

it’s as if you’re attached to a piece of elastic,

and if you cannot comply with what they are needing

you can be accused of being unfeeling.

They lose all awareness of the concept of time

so can live in the past, or repeat the same sentence time after time,

and if they want lunch in the middle of night

you cannot convince them that the time isn’t right.

There are times when you can’t understand what they’re seeing,

that they’re not where they are, or ‘there’s a cat on the ceiling’,

and if you don’t understand, they can say something hurtful,

and you want to walk out as it’s all far too stressful,

but you cannot do that: you have to stay calm

to act for you both as the steadying arm.

You take on the money; the cooking; the care

so there’s no time for the ‘you’ that’s hiding in there.

BUT, having said all these things, it can also be sunny

when they suddenly smile, or do something funny.

[foxglove in reply to AliBee1]

Thank you so much, for me it says it all - have spent a long time searching for it . It spoke to me when I first read it and I was quite unreasonably distressed when I couldn't locate it again.

Have you written any others? but this is the one for me

Chris x

[mandyhinksford in reply to AliBee1]

beautiful and heartfelt x

[AliBee1 in reply to mandyhinksford]

Thank you xx

[AliBee1 in reply to MAS_Nurse]

Hi.

Foxglove found it at last and has contacted me so I have contacted her today.

I have several poems which people seem to help people both on Bereavement and Dementia. Is there any way we could have a poetry section?

Kind regards

Ali B

[AliBee1]

Dear Chris

I am so glad that it spoke to you. I wrote it last year when we were on a respite holiday with Revitalise and I had sat watching and listening to all those around us with differing forms and degrees of dementia. I have written many other poems. They started after my late husband died and came from the heart, much to my surprise. I still sell them in aid of Macmillan and is how I met my husband for whom I am now a carer as my parents in law gave him my poetry to help with his wife's death. xx

[foxglove in reply to AliBee1]

Yes indeed really spoke to me. good vibes for your caring role

Chris x

[jaykay777]

Foxglove -- If it's the poem I recall by Jeff Cobb, I can't find it either. The poem I recall is about how the writer feels about having early dementia. Jeff, if you're reading this, please help us find the response to foxglove's question. Thank you. I recall the poem as having been well written and insightful.

[foxglove in reply to jaykay777]

It was posted by Revitalise but written by AliBee1, who kindly sent a copy to me, I'm sure you could also have a copy if you wish. If you reply to me I will copy and paste for you if you want. Don't know Jeff Cobb poem but I'm sure it is every bit as comforting

[foxglove in reply to foxglove]

See my post Dementia Poem in today's list AliBee1's reply and copy of poem is there some where