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Dementia theif

Dementia means your mum-in-law, who you care for and lives with you, asking your husband in front of your children "Why aren't you courting?" despite you having been married to her son for 32 years. It also means knowing she is tucked up in a warm, clean bed with a full belly (despite her protestations...) safe, loved and cared for every night.

Some days are purely so hard in every respect. Emotionally and physically draining. Lovely when she has lucid moments, I want to shout to my children to come and enjoy them so they can be 'with' their nana again.

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Dementia doesn’t care about the person your mum in law used to be or still is sometimes but you and your family do.

I just want to say what amazing people you are and I hope you can continue to care for your dear mother in law always.

I hope this cruel disease will one day be defeated. Xxxx

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Hi cell0, what a lovely post. You have such understanding and compassion and you’ve covered so much that’s true about dementia in so few words. Dementia means having to say “goodbye” to a loved one whilst they are still with us and instead care for a stranger who looks just the same but seemingly knows very little about who we all are. But you are obviously making a wonderful job of that!

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what a wonderful thing you are all doing i know how hard it will be as in all illness my husband has brain problems with so many symptoms and i know how hard i find it he has had a great week which is like a miracle when he is so bad it is hard to remember the good times my mum in law had dementia and we only had her overnight a couple of times and how hard that was its not her doing or saying things its her illness hope you get time for yourselves would you not put her in for respite so you can all have family time hope it goes as well as it can for as long as possible xx

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It really isn’t fare and in your position it must be heart breaking for you all, BUT she knows not what she says. I have Dementia and I don’t think I could stand getting to that stage. It steals your life away, it’s a life sentence without doing the crime.

Philip

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Hi Philip

Thank you for your reply. I'm sorry to hear you have dementia and hope you have people around you to support you. It really does add clarity and weight to the idea of living every moment to the full. Take care and try not to dwell on wheat may be round the corner, enjoy today.

Cello

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Thank you.

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Oh my goodness I can relate to this so so much, only it's my mum which I think makes it worse, sometimes I feel so tearful and tierd all at the same time completely isolated, my mum won't let me out of her sight , but equally so unkind but then can be so so lovely, my emotions are all over the place , take care and love to you x

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It's sweet that nana still retains positive memories of the man courting the woman. She knows they belong with each other.

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I've been in the same position with my Mum it can be so upsetting, but I'd just like to say how lucky your Mum in law is to have such a wonderful daughter in law , Im sure your hubby appreciates what you are doing for his Mum too, good luck and take care.

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When my mum starting saying embarrassing things like this, we used to go along with it and laugh together about it. Hard to do as I always wanted to justify myself, but your dear lady has no idea that she is causing you upset, in her mind everything is clear. Your husband is old enough to be courting!!!

My thoughts and prayers are with you, I do know how hard and thankless it can be.

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