Helpless.

[Melissa87]

My brother is an alcoholic, his liver has been severely damaged as a result and we nearly lost him last year. He’s been told he’s not to drink any alcohol but after about 6-8 weeks after he came out of hospital he started drinking again.

He lives in London and I live in South Wales, I’ve only seen him 3 times in this past year and the last time I saw him (August 2021) he looked jaundice and his belly looked swollen. He did disclose to our sister that he had blood tests done and the doctor was concerned about them and wanted him to get admitted to hospital but he said no.

He’s told me that he’s had regular tests and each time he’s just said everything is ok. I don’t think he’s even been going to the appointments- if the doctor was concerned in August and now 3 months later he’s saying that everything is ok, that really wouldn’t be the case.

He doesn’t know that I’ve been in contact with his stepdad and he’s confirmed that he’s looking worse. He’s more jaundice and his belly is so swollen that he can’t button up his jacket. Without medical help it’s only going to be a matter of time before his other organs feel the strain of the fluid retention.

Does anyone know how long he will be able to carry on in this state before hospital is the only option? I’m worried I’ll be having a call with the worst news possible. Hope someone can help me.

Thank you

[Hidden]

Hi Melissa,

Why don't you call our nurse led helpline tomorrow for a supportive chat? we are open Mon to Fri 10am to 3pm on 0800 652 7330

Best wishes.

[Melissa87 in reply to Hidden]

Ah that’s great thank you x

[Positive001 in reply to Melissa87]

Oh Melissa they can be their own worst enemy ! Still drinking and refusing the help the hospital is offering. If he carries on like this it will sadly only end 1 way, on a long road to worsening and very unsettling conditions including liver failure, kidney failure and HE. He needs to see sense, give up the drink and be grateful he is being offered hospital care and treatment in order to slow down or halt the progression of this most horrible of diseases.I wish you all the very best.

Laura.

[Glenfaba123]

Hi melissa, im so sorry about your brother and what he's going through and the whole family too, because it affects everyone. But speaking from experience hes the only one who can help himself, and except the help and treatment from the doctors and the hospital care, untill he does there's not much anyone can do, hes got to want it and except before its too late. Im going through the same thing with my husband right now, he thinks he's invincible and he's fine, but its only a matter of time before things come crashing down, i really feel your pain, and the worry and stress is exhausting. Give the helpline a call tomorrow and have a chat they are very helpful and talking does help offload the strain. I really hope your brother comes to his senses real soon and seaks the help he needs, take care

Julie xx

[MisterX]

Hi Melissa,

I'm so sorry for what you're going through.

By the sounds of it if he's jaundiced and has ascites (fluid retention) then it's very likely he has end stage liver disease - decompensated cirrhosis - the liver can't do what it needs to do.

Assuming that's true - and we're not adding 2+2 and coming up with 5 (which is why it's important its properly diagnosed) you're in an extraordinarily difficult position as his only hope is to stop drinking and to get immediate medical help in the hope that his cirrhosis can return to a compensated state - where the body manages to just about cope.

I'm afraid that's the reality of the situation. It's worth your family trying everything they can but with alcohol it can be difficult to get through to people.

I wish you the best.

[Aotea2012]

Sadly, only he can decide to stop. I’m someone who has had to do it, no one could tell me. Lots of people tried. I had to get to a crisis point where I was admitted to hospital with a deep rooted infection where they also diagnosed cirrhosis. I had no idea I had liver disease up until that point. I did know I drunk too much and had started to not want to strangely, but didn’t know how to stop or indeed reach out for help. My hospital admission terrified me. Then I stopped. I haven’t drunk anything since my admission back in March 2021. Fortunately, I’ve now got normal bloods and am feeling well. I was very sick though and nearly didn’t pull through. That scared the life out of me. That was my trigger. I’ve read lots of posts on here and for those who do stop there seems to be something that’s made them see sense. Ill health seems common, family breakdown another, death of a fellow drinker another. Equally, I’ve read posts like yours where the trigger doesn’t seem to have kicked in and where family and friends are at their wits end. You need to get some support yourself and seek advice. The helpline is very good and I’m sure will give you lots of information.

[Smegmer]

Its sounds like late stage Cirrhosis, but it could be Hepatitis. The fluid can get infected and cause death. He is also at risk from bursting veins. His Kidneys could get overwhelmed because the Liver isn't clearly his blood and other tasks. Some can truck on for years, but he could also have numerous complications because of the Cirrhosis and pass away at anytime really. He is very very sick.

[Melissa87]

Thank you for your replies, I’m yet to contact the liver nurses as I’m scared. Despite many attempts to get him to go to a&e Thursday afternoon he was left with very little choice and was taken by ambulance to his local hospital. The nurses won’t discuss any information over the phone just that he was waiting for the doctor to put a canola in him so he can get treatments. She said he’s stable. He’s on a gastroenterology and blood ward. I’m hoping that his mother can get a bit more information when she rings later tonight. Just over 3 weeks since I posted this originally 😢