Unfortunately, my husband died yesterday from complications due to cirrhosis. He had been a heavy drinker for most of his adult life. He felt well and was working full time right up to the day he got admitted to hospital at the end of August. Even for the first couple of weeks in hospital, he felt reasonably well and was annoyed at being there. However, his bilirubin level kept climbing and by the time it started to decrease, the complications started to show. A serious infection pulled him right down. After fighting that, he seemed to recover somewhat and was sent home with ascites that they refused to drain in hospital. He was incredibly weak and I had misgivings about him being sent home before he was ready. When he was home, he simply got weaker despite all my efforts. When I called an ambulance, they insisted on talking to my husband who claimed he was okay and would refuse to go back to hospital. They didn’t come out even to check him over. The next day, my parents-in-law came to take my husband into their care because they have an easier home setup with a bed right next to the toilet. The day after that, my husband fell and could not get up. He was admitted back into hospital. They soon discovered that the ascites fluid was infected. His kidneys shut down and he was rushed to intensive care where he hung on for another couple of days. In the final conversation I had with him, his speech was slurred and difficult to make out but he promised never to drink again. It was heartbreaking.
I know there are success stories following a cirrhosis diagnosis and I don’t want anyone to give up hope after reading this. If you can overcome the complications AND never touch alcohol again, the outcome can be good. Unfortunately, my husband went downhill very fast and what we thought would be a wake-up call turned out to be the end for him. I hope that my story will convince anyone with an alcohol problem of the seriousness of this illness. Be kind to your body folks and value the life you were given. Reach out for support because you will get it.
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Silverscale
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I am so very sorry for your loss, please accept my sincere condolences. Look after yourself now. I wish you and your family a happy and healthy future.
Jackie x
I’m so sorry, sending peaceful thoughts and please take care of yourself x
What a thoughtful post to send at such a terribly sad time for you, and beautifully written. Thank you. I am so sorry to read about the loss of your husband, I cannot imagine what you are going through but I send you sincere condolences and wish you only the best in the weeks and months ahead.
My heart goes out to you and your family for your loss. What an honest and thoughtful post to make during this sad time. Thank you for sharing your experience. Sending my very best wishes and love to you all xx
So sorry , I hope you are ok , sending best wishes to you and your family at this incredibly sad time , a real wake up call for some before it’s too late .
Even during your darkest moments and losing your husband, I find the upmost strength in explaining your husband's story heartbreaking, i pass my sincere sympathy to you, and the courage to explain his final moments was very, very sad, it hits us hard, and to summon the strength to pass these wise words echoes courage,and a selfless desire to all people who are struggling with alcohol related issues, I feel truly humbled by your words, my deepest condolences to your whole family.
So sorry to hear of your loss, Silverscale. I feel your pain. I was in a similar situation three years ago, although it still feels like yesterday. Take care of yourself and take things easy.
Truly heartbreaking and very sorry for your loss. It's really surprising that they chose not to drain the ascites at the hospital but maybe a decision taken for medical reasons at the time. I lost a brother to cirrhosis and then liver cancer, all caused by alcohol. Very graceful of you to be thoughtful of others, reaching out, even whilst you yourself must be grieving terribly. God Bless..
Thank you and I am glad if this is a reality check for you. I wouldn't wish what my husband went through on my worst enemy. Please give yourself some love and reach out for help if you are struggling. The liver is pretty amazing at healing itself given the chance.
I am a baby on the no drinking ladder, just over two and a half years of no alcohol and I plan to do hopefully 20 plus more. It seems so long ago, now I think about it.
Unfortunately my liver is past healing, but it gets by so to speak.
I am just in awe of the partners and families of people that have, or had, this horrible disease... because I know that my family went through some with me. The guilt I feel is huge.
Thank you for your kind words, look after yourself and stay strong xXx 💞
Well, two and a half years sober is not to be sniffed at! Congratulations and keep on doing what you’re doing now. No point in feeling guilty now though I understand why you might.
If only your succinct and very well written, but exceptionally sad, story, could be read by all those who think they can still carry on drinking when they have cirrhosis. ……I admit though that I was one of those who stupidly did just that but in my case was very very lucky to not get serious complications.
Thank you Miles. I am glad you have managed to pull yourself back from the brink. My husband had only just been diagnosed with fatty liver disease so he kidded himself that he had more time.
Condolences to you and your family. I am a recovered alcoholic. I dont know where the willingness came for me to try the program of AA. I am alive because of the 12 steps and fellowship. You may want to seek support from the Al-Anon Fellowship and learn about the powerlessness of the disease so you can heal. You did your best but the person with the condition must realize that. We could do very little until then. Most alcoholics stubborn as they are dont make it.
I’m very glad to hear that you took the steps to get help for yourself before it was too late. I tried and tried to get my hubby to join AA but he was not willing to give it a go and, as you say, the alcoholic needs to want to get help.
This the tragic state of a person who is afflicted with that condition. The person and actually the family doesn't realize who badly mangled the mind is. Even if the family realizes that the person needs help the alcoholic still things he/she can control the drinking and lead a common life. 2014, I visited India when a celebrity had a show about AA. The next day the fellowship was an alert to receive and support calls. There was a surge but almost all calls were from husbands/wifes/parents/brothers and sisters. But none of the alcoholics called for help.
So very sorry for your loss. I had a similar experience when my partner passed away a year ago. He ended up with sepsis and died within 12 hours of being admitted to hospital. It is all so sad and unnecessary. If only people would stop drinking when advised to do so . Thinking of you and sending condolences and very best wishes. Stay strong and be kind to yourself. You did everything you could for your husband. Cath xx
I'm in tears reading your post. My partner gave up drinking 10 years ago and was only diagnosed with ascites in June this year. I'm so scared. He is lucky enough to be on the transplant list and he is having weekly drains. I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending you hugs at this hard time.
Oh Emma, I didn't mean to make anyone cry. Your partner has given up drinking and made it this far which is a good sign. I hope he gets to have a successful transplant and new lease of life very soon. It must be unbearable waiting.
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