Just need a bit of support really, or a somewhat informed opinion

[fedupbigstylz]

Hi everyone. I'm going to give the abridged version of my situation as really it has been the bane of my life for the best part of 7 years now at this stage, anyway here goes. 34 years old, history of right quadrant pain after episodes of drinking on and off through the years. For first few years went down the NHS route, which as a seemingly fit and healthy (never had deranged LFT bloods) skinny man I was always fobbed off or waited for referrals which travelled through the system at glacial pace. (Ironically i worked a large part of this time in an NHS appointment booking centre!) Several US scans (including paid private), colonoscopy, OGD and nothing ever came to light. Was told i had IBS and c'est fini.

The pain would come and go but without doubt my biggest problem through this time were the bouts of health anxiety spiked massively by lurking in forums (never reaching out) where i self diagnosed with every possibility. Im sure this actually caused many of my digestive troubles. I'd always been honest with every clinician regarding my alcohol intake, which ebbs and flows between average and heavy. I finally paid for a private Fibro Scan July 2019 which showed fibrosis score 3.2 which was reassuring but my CAP was 257 indicating moderate fatty liver. The technician basically told me i was too young to have done real damage (a fallacy i know) but that i should watch my diet and 'stop eating crap.' To be fair my diet was quite poor and hasnt got much better, i do eat more healthy food lately but still heavy on the carbs at times. So basically i was told NAFLD with a yearly check up recommended...i stupidly took this as a clean bill of health. Diet is important however for the most part i only ever got/get symptoms after drinking so for sure there is an alcohol dimension to this and very probable its the main culprit!

Obviously a year on from summer 2019 brings us to the lull in the UK lockdown last year but with the pandemic and no real red flags in terms of symptoms i put it on the long finger. Through lockdown ive put on a stone weight (14lbs) bringing me up to 13st (182lb i think) (nearly 6feet tall) and my alcohol intake has definitely increased markedly this past year (messy divorce to contend with too). Im still fairly athletic to a point but my ability to exercise much has been hampered by a RUN of injuries...pardon the terrible pun. Im actually starting to think that my various bouts of ankle pain are perhaps more symptoms of the liver condition than actual running related pains! Anyway i drank way too much alcohol sitting at home for a week watching horse racing mid march 2021, rather stupidly drinking 8 days from 9 (although i was only drunk probably 2 of these days i know thats a moot point) at least on the booze free day i climbed a mountain; which is kind of a metaphor for this whole journey, and now the pain has reared its ugly head again. As of now im bloated, have the achey right side/rib pain but most worryingly of all is the constant dry mouth, my panic went in to overdrive when i read that was a symptom! Im trying to stay sort of objective on the whole thing rather than get carried away with my imminent death in a spiral of anxiety. Dont let the pithy attempts at jokes through out this fool you, that's exactly how i feel!

So between the terrible mouth dryness (new symptom) and having a fear that the bloating is ascites (ive a strange feeling of like fluid fluttering bilaterally but it could be my imagination) ive booked another FibroScan for mid april (self referral). I should probably go to my own GP in the interim but i actually saw him lately after a weird reaction to the covid vaccine and dont want to annoy him again so soon, and by the time he could schedule appointment between easter break etc, then come back to see the nurse for bloods, it would be past then anyway. In conclusion what is the likelihood that ive done serious damage in the past 21months since my last Fibroscan of 3.2 or jacked the fat content up from 257 to a dangerously high level? given that on balance my habits have gotten worse (as with alot of us during this stressful year)- allbeit not massively so. I know im asking for conjecture but at least it'll be some what informed conjecture, most people book a follow up fibroscan hoping for an improvement in results, whereas im fully expecting worse news! But its better than annoying loved ones who unfortunately dont understand and even worse, have heard it all before, so many thanks to anyone still reading after this supposedly abridged version of my situation.

[Hidden]

You seem to be going through a pattern that I recognise, I did it for nearly two decades.

The only way to get rid of the health anxiety Over your liver is to get rid of the drink and eat a healthy diet. Otherwise you will just keep going through this same pattern of doing as you please and then stopping and worrying and testing , and then repeat... each time leaving the health of your liver to chance like playing a lottery. I used to look in the mirror every time I woke up to see of my eyes had gone yellow, rather than stopping to make sure the didn’t... madness.

I very much doubt you have caused anything serious in that time but I guess your Next test will determine Whether you have or haven’t.... but my advice is drop the tests and just do what you know you need to..

If it eases your anxiety I had pain over my liver every day for well over 10 years, it hurt when I leant over forward and was slightly sore when I pressed...it was 100% my drinking habit (which was every night) as since the day I stopped I haven’t felt that same pain every again.. I am also free of liver disease somehow but I guess I stopped in time for my liver to heal. I got extremely lucky, but if I could go back in time I would never take such risks again.

[fedupbigstylz in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for the reply dogmadpam. I'm glad you saw the light...but more importantly walked towards it, yeah you can tell i've sort of been trapped in the no mans land of recognizing there's a problem, but rather than solve it out right ive been intellectualizing it, getting caught up in trying to uncover the extent of it, comparing myself to others with a far more serious problem, all the while probably making it worse. I have given up for 11 weeks before with other stretches of 6 and the odd dry month, its just since it was intimated to me that diet was more the issue i rather naively assumed that alcohol was extraneous to diet which of course it isnt, coupled with lockdown/divorce/anxiety and seemingly being perennially injured which stops me from running which is my chief hobby. For example i would never drink on a friday night as i had parkrun the next morning, which of course has been covid cancelled! hopefully with golf opening up again i can engage in more healthy hobbies (i know booze is an addiction not just a hobby but im speaking as some one who was once a member of CAMRA for gods sake) and focus on staying alive long enough for my boys. That probably sounds dramatic but i do know what's at stake. In my head im a person who would get just as much pleasure from the odd beer or glass of wine so i feel pretty ashamed that ive been drinking by the case the past year or so. anyway whats done is done just praying the scan is relatively good news, if so in a way that makes me lucky, alot of people haze zero symptoms until its too late, in reframing the pain im glad my body is telling me theres a problem (although id probably still rather not have it as the anxiety it produces is much worse than the sensation, just being honest) thanks again.

[briccolone in reply to Hidden]

succinct and spot on post Dogmad

[fedupbigstylz]

Just closing the loop in case anyone should be reading this, had fibroscan today and generally good news, cap was 243 (down from 257) although kpa was 5 (up from 3.2) havent had the consultant report but the general consensus from the technicians was that we can get away with things in our 20's but they will eventually catch up with us (im 34). Basically im treating this as a premature midlife crisis; moderation, moderation, moderation!!!