I’ve been lurking on here not posting for a long time.
I have a really toxic relationship with alcohol and while I found I have always managed to get it under control, this year has seen my drinking spiral.
Over the past nearly 9 months I’ve drank around 2 bottles of wine a day, sometimes less, sometimes more.
I find myself constantly checking my eyeballs in the mirror for signs of jaundice, laying down and feeling my stomach for signs of liver swelling, I check my ankles all the time, I am obsessed with it.
I had a liver function test back in January. Came back “normal”
I’ve stopped drinking to the volume I was, for about a month now, but I’ve absolutely convinced myself I’m going to die.
I’m only 26.
I needed to get this out somewhere, I know nobody on here can tell me if I have severely damaged my liver, but I genuinely think I have, and I’m terrified of going to the doctors for fear of judgement, and for fear of what sort of state my liver is actually in.
So, no point to this post except to just get out how I’m feeling. I’m terrified.