Just a moan.: No question just a quick... - British Liver Trust

British Liver Trust

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Just a moan.

FlashyD profile image
34 Replies

No question just a quick moan. I stopped drinking because I am stupid and have cirrhosis, fluid around my brain. Recently i've had comments like .....oh.just because you don't drink! ....

No need as I don't make any comments about them drinking! I'm just pleased that I am making progress, the remarks are thrown out at random times...WHY!?!?

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FlashyD profile image
FlashyD
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34 Replies

I suspect it's because they know that they are drinking too much too. It's comfortable if everyone else is doing it - it becomes 'normal'. When someone goes against the herd and stops it will make everyone else uncomfortable as they are forced to think about their own health a little. They'd probably like you to start drinking again so they don't have to face their own issues.

Good for you - keep it up. Once they realise that you aren't going to start again, the comments will probably stop.

ThreeSmiles profile image
ThreeSmiles in reply to velvetunderground

Spot on velvet 👍.

Dogbot profile image
Dogbot in reply to velvetunderground

Well said velvet 👍 I had great friends that supported me when I gave up drinking and they carried on , now they are amazed that I have stopped.

I hope you’re friends help you FlashyD or they are not friends.

Best of luck

Dogbot 🐶🌈

CocoChannel profile image
CocoChannel in reply to Dogbot

Good to hear. I was surprised by my friends’ reactions especially as they drink loads (when they’re out every few weeks, not every day fortunately).

Firstly, they were a bit shocked that I was alcohol dependent and had no idea, but they all agreed that I did the right thing. Now when I go out with them, they watch my back so even if I was tempted to have just the one (despite what anyone may tell you, that’s a life long risk for any ex-drinker), they’d stop me.

FlashyD, you’re certainly not stupid, and well done for making progress. Do what I do and avoid such idiots. I had to go on a business trip recently with 6 colleagues I don’t really have much time for. We went to a decent restaurant, and they all had six large beers each. They were all overweight and unfit. I’m happy to hang out with friends who drink but not strangers. Next business trip, I had “other plans”.

FlashyD profile image
FlashyD in reply to Dogbot

My true friends are fab and supporting me but it is the morons that make digs

CocoChannel profile image
CocoChannel in reply to FlashyD

👍 You’ve got some good friends there.

Even when I was a heavy drinker, I always respected those who choose not to drink. It’s baffling why anyone wouldn’t. You’re doing OK so don’t worry about a few oddballs 🙂

FlashyD profile image
FlashyD in reply to velvetunderground

You are right there. Sad for them.

Xenom0rph profile image
Xenom0rph

More often than not these people are seeking to justify their own habit. They can qualify their drinking by ,asking sure someone else shares their hangover.

Keep on keeping on. I stopped for similar reasons and disappeared into a black hole of depression but i bounced back. Here for you if you need a chat

Bootandall profile image
Bootandall in reply to Xenom0rph

I am glad to hear you bounced back Xen, I noticed your disappearance. ❤️

Xenom0rph profile image
Xenom0rph in reply to Bootandall

Thank you! Testing times but that's just the way it is.

FlashyD profile image
FlashyD in reply to Xenom0rph

Oh thank you x

Hello,

It is hard when people say the things they do with regard to drinking and like others have commented it is likely because they are feeling uncomfortable about their own drinking habits. You are taking responsibility for your health - well done.

BluffDaleTexas profile image
BluffDaleTexas

I hate when ordering a non-alcoholic beer to have to always explain to the bartender and/or people around me why.

Amazing how sometimes I get the dopiest comments from bartenders when ordering NA beer or another non-alcoholic beverage.

Bootandall profile image
Bootandall in reply to BluffDaleTexas

Try "I'm on duty" but only if you want people to leave you alone, lol.

in reply to Bootandall

Good suggestion Boot ! 🙂

Valar__morghulis profile image
Valar__morghulis

Stopping to drink is the best step. And also no one would critisize in bad ways the abstinence of the same. Many including me are binge drinkers over here and would only want others to desist such habits.

Those who drink consensually are fools. And their personal choice about that is a shitty one. Although probable that you won't get a disease because of your drink but you certainly will end up killing at least a decade of life and whatever cause you may die of would certainly have had its contribution in form of your alcohol intake.

CocoChannel profile image
CocoChannel in reply to Valar__morghulis

Fools is a bit harsh. If a healthy person is genuinely able to drink occasionally or in moderation (the UK government guidelines are no more than 14 units, that’s around one and a half bottles of wine a week), that’s fine.

Ollie9098 profile image
Ollie9098 in reply to CocoChannel

They are no guide lines anymore 14 used to be the recommended amount, that stopped 4-5years ago its now (ZERO) be careful you may confuse some people

in reply to Ollie9098

"Wrong, do it again!"🙄

To keep health risks from alcohol to a low level it is safest not to drink more than 14 units a week on a regular basis.👍

Perhaps your confused with the old guidelines of 21 units 4/5 years ago.🙄

Coco is merely quoting the correct the correct guidance in general terms.👍

Liver issues none recommend if that's were your at? 👎

All in all, you're just another brick in the wall. 😜

Ollie9098 profile image
Ollie9098 in reply to

You keep yourself hidden

CocoChannel profile image
CocoChannel in reply to Ollie9098

nhs.uk/news/food-and-diet/n...

ThreeSmiles profile image
ThreeSmiles in reply to Ollie9098

Ollie

Don’t think you are right!

The latest Guidelines I can find from the NHS are dated 13/2/20 and say:-

“The Chief Medical Officers’ guidelines for both men and women are:

To keep health risks from alcohol to a low level it is safest not to drink more than 14 units a week on a regular basis.

If you regularly drink as much as 14 units per week, it is best to spread your drinking evenly over 3 or more days. If you have one or two heavy drinking episodes a week, you increase your risks of death from long term illness and from accidents and injuries.

The risk of developing a range of health problems, including cancers of the mouth, throat and breast, increases the more you drink on a regular basis.

If you want to cut down the amount you drink, a good way is to have several drink-free days each week.”

In 1979, the government advised men to drink no more than 56 units of alcohol a week. This was later reduced to 36 units, then 28 units and then 21 units. Last year, I think it was, the Chief Medical Officer reduced it once again, this time to 14 units.

Where did you get your data from?

Miles

Ollie9098 profile image
Ollie9098 in reply to ThreeSmiles

Liver consultant, why are people like you recommending guidelines on this forum don't understand one or two of yous talking about what is OK to drink and what's not we're, all individuals if your on this forum then don't be telling people what's OK to drink and what's not, no doctor or consultant would recommend any of us alcohol therefore it goes without saying so why mention it , best to say nowt if you can't bring anything to the table

ThreeSmiles profile image
ThreeSmiles in reply to Ollie9098

Ollie

Everybody is entitled to their own opinion on here but your approach to addressing others is not the way we do things on this forum. You do not need to tell me what I can or can’t do, please. You were talking about guidelines and I, like Coco, told you what the official position is re drinking for the general population.

Of course, it goes without saying, that those of us who are suffering with liver disease, whether as a result of drinking too much alcohol, or for other reasons, of which there are many, should resist drinking any alcohol at all. Had you been reading any of the articles on this forum - in the 9 months that you have been on here - you would know that I, and almost everyone else here, strongly advocate this approach.

There is no need to reply.

Good luck in your quest for a healthy life.

Miles

Laura009 profile image
Laura009 in reply to Ollie9098

Totally agree with you Ollie

Bs1524 profile image
Bs1524

It isn’t just drinking stopping smoking going on a diet someone always wants to sabotage you. Keep up the good work you are doing great x

joeburger profile image
joeburger

A few friends that I have and my family know why I can't ever touch alcohol ever again not even in food, they have all supported me and never said anything negative.

If everybody on this forum who have damaged their liver through alcohol misuse could show your friends a glimpse of what pain and anguish ourselves and family go through then they would soon change their minds.

Keep going it's your body, your life.

Lesley

Julie8 profile image
Julie8

Liver disease isn’t known. It’s not talked about and it’s hard to tell people when they’re, in their eyes, just having a good time. We’d like to leave it up to the medical profession but half of them don’t seem to know either. I took liver trust leaflets, posters and cards to my gps and they didn’t use them. Maybe tv ads is the way to go but that takes money. Liver roadshows are probably the best way but need more of them.

Artemis61 profile image
Artemis61 in reply to Julie8

I agree Julie8, people think liver disease just happens to people like George Best and Oliver Reed. My brother wasn't an alcoholic but nearly died last year because he simply drank too much, every day, without a break. He got into a habit and that habit is heard to break, plus you never think it'll happen to you. It's changed my view of alcohol, and I learned so much about cirrhosis, kidneys, gastro issues, DNR's, billirubin, NG feeding, the list is endless. All I know now is that we were VERY lucky that he came through it, and if it was happening now, with COVID-19 here, I don't think he would survive. My brother is well and in self isolation as he has a weak immune system.

Nictesla profile image
Nictesla

You are far from stupid, the stupid ones keep drinking I know because I was one of them a long time ago, been sober 9 years now. If need a chat mate I,m on most days.

BenandTedsDad profile image
BenandTedsDad

Firstly, well done you. I,m 366 days dry (not that I'm counting) and I've had nothing but support from family and friends even considering them having to put up with me for so long.

I don't think generally people have any idea how difficult it is not to drink when it's been your go thing all your life.

Keep strong and safe.

CocoChannel profile image
CocoChannel in reply to BenandTedsDad

It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.

The scary thing is it’s apparently even tougher for the likes of us to quit again if we were to relapse. I don’t fancy that.

Well done on 366 👍

Bootandall profile image
Bootandall in reply to BenandTedsDad

Congratulations! Happy Easter too. 🐇👯🐣🎉💐🐥👏

Splodge60 profile image
Splodge60

I have to respond to you FlashyD. There are many people whom you will come across in life who will think it their ‘duty’ to tell you what is wrong with you and your life, how the way and amount you drink is either good or bad, depending on their particular hang up and grievance. Look on Social media or the Media, if you want proof. People just seem generally to think they have a given right to be judgemental about you and anyone else! Whatever decision you make about any decision you make is for you to decide, and no-one else should ever assume that they know better than you about you. Unless you have solid proof, from an externally validated scientific source, I would not even think you or anyone should feel it’s okay to call you stupid!!!!! The thing is, we all make choices that are a big part of our life learning curve. Some choices will be bad for us and some will be good, but, we all have to go through that process. As you have found out for yourself, drinking alcohol has not been good for you. I too have NASH related Cirrhosis, so it wasn’t alcohol that caused my Cirrhosis. It was mistakes and bad decisions I made about food intake. I get the same judgemental stuff over foods I like and eat that you have experienced over alcohol. So, to solve the problem (for both of us), next time you get a nasty comment about anything, just kindly ask the person who is getting at you, “.......please just examine all your decisions in life and ask yourself if you are doing something to put your own health at risk, and why do you then think it is okay to have a go at me.......”. We are all, fundamentally struggling with our own demons. Don’t let them get you down!!!!!

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