This is my first post, I've been diagnosed with decompensated liver disease for over 18 months. I have ascites, chronic pain in my stomach, muscle wastage and have had one bad episode of encothcapy. I have cut down so much on alcohol but still wish to enjoy social drinks. Ive been given statistically less than a year to live.
Has anyone proven this wrong but now ive found love and wish to be around a lot longer as only 46 how best can I gain muscle and weight back. Feel healthier or do I just accept what is going to happen.
Sorry new to this don't know how it works. I'm just scared
Written by
Bern1407
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Hi and welcome . Sadly Bern, unless you give up drinking completely your condition will only worsen.
You have so much to live for, is it worth wasting on social drinking? You've done so well to cut down are you able to make that extra push and give it up for good?
To help with restoring muscle strength you need to exercise moderately to begin with... walking is a great start and you could do this at the times you would normally be drinking to break out of that habit.
Plenty of fresh air, healthy foods such as fish, chicken fruit and veg will all help both mind and body.
My in laws are all big drinkers, and have always known me to be the same. I was worried it would raise a red flag or that I would be asked questions when I went to family gatherings and didn't drink. Surprisingly no one really noticed or cared. Another strategy is to bring something non alcoholic, but at a casual glance looks like you are partaking like everyone else. NA wine in a nice wine glass. NA beer with a label that looks "real", fizzy water with garnish in a gin glass etc.
I so hope you choose life and quit drinking completely. After 20 years of drinking everyday, I was frightened enough to go cold turkey. It really was easier than cutting back (which I had done in the past prior to my diagnosis - but the level of drinking always rose back up). I have been sober for two and a half months. Every now and then a stressful situation will make me think, I really want a drink right now. But the next thought is always but I would rather not die so I can resist that urge.
Thanks for that. I am already taking first steps by not having drink just soft drinks in my house. But good advice for socializing thankyou
in reply to
Well written Laura!
Hi Bern
Oh deary me ☹️. If you have been told you have (statistically) less than a year to live how can you possibly continue drinking especially as you have found love.? Faced with that scenario I’m sure you know in yourself you must stop drinking!
Take heed of what Laura says and give yourself a chance of enjoying that love for longer. Also, and very importantly, if you need a liver transplant to save your life you will not be able to get on the transplant list if you continue to drink. ☹️.
Really really try to help yourself by getting help if you need it.
Good luck and please let us know what your plan is.
Stoppin drinking is hard, but finding love , especially when your in poor health is even harder!!! Your family and friends who care about you won't try to convince you drink is fun. I stopped 15 years ago, simply because went off it. I had a virus and just the smell of red wine made me wretch. If the love is reciprocated you have something to live for. Those who don't accept you have quit need to be given a wide berth. Make an appointment tomorrow and ask for a double appointment.You can find what course of help will suit you best Take your loved one with you for support.The money you save will pay for you both a holiday, Help is available and as well as all the heartbreaking experiences seen on here there is also the amazing stories of people who have become compensated or had a transplant. This could be you. Hazelxx
Hi there.i don’t want to sound condescending but as someone who’s lived with liver disease for many years and been through exactly what your going through.surly,as in my case anyway the first thing you’d contemplate doing is stopping drinking.as you’d of been advised that especially being decompansated that you’ll die if you don’t stop drinking.nether mind cutting down I was thirty six when told I had cirrosis and although I wasn’t decomansated by then the first thing I did was to stop drinking.youll also need to speak to a dietitian about how to keep your muscle mass as it involves eating lots and lots of protein.wish you well
Have you got a team Bern? I presume that they have offered you a controlled detox as don't just stop as dangerous. You can do it, and think of all the nice times with your new love. I'm two years of the stuff and I spend my extra money on my hobbies. All the best...
Ive never had a drink problem in that I need it, my liver damage was due to very very heavy drinking when my father died. So I've stopped and gone weeks without any. This time has been only 5 days but as ive not drank heavily since diagnosed I don't suffer with stopping. The problem is every now and then saying a couple won't kill me. But been advised it will x
Hi Bern and welcome. You must listen to all the advice given here. Decompensated cirrhosis is just a step away from end of life. So please stop drinking, with help from your GP if necessary, and you will be surprised how good it makes you feel. As you've found love, what better reason do you need to give up. Your cirrhosis, if and when it goes compensated, can be managed. That's where I am now, and where you can be as well. The key to your future and happiness is to kick the drink completely.
David
Good Morn Bern
I've just read all those supporting messages from wonderful people who understand deeply how your feeling and what could happen to you if you dont STOP drinking!
I've watched my best friend die which I'm telling you is not nice at all! My 1st husband also died in his 50 from a combination of cirrhosis after suffering numerous heart attacks first! Alcohol is a demon and can change a person's personality at a flick of a switch!
PLEASE if you've found real LOVE hold onto it with every breath in your body as it doesn't always come along! Also keep hold of those precious friends as the GOOD ones will stand by you all the way no matter what!
Take care Burn and pretty please listen and read as many stories as you can on the forum DAILY as they will help keep you on track!
In a nutshell and as bluntly as I can - QUIT DRINKING.
My husband went into liver & kidney failure in 2015 - he was 67. He drank for decades - had he quit or possibly cut back at your age we might not have had the liver failure and cirrhosis to deal with now.
But you already have the issues at 46 that he had to face at 67. His doctors walked into his hospital room after he was coherent enough to understand what they said and told him straight out that he could quit drinking and live or continue to drink socially and they'd see him back before the year was out and he would not be walking out of the hospital.
You know what? He tells people he can't drink anymore flat out. If your friends can't handle that you don't drink and they can have a designated driver with them too bad so sad - why would you want to be around them.
I have seen how hard it is to quit, I've lived with it for ages, I've cursed out my husband's friends when they cut back on their drinking but poured him nice strong drinks, while they switched to soda. Am I bitter - yup, I just make the effort to not focus on it. Do you have a wife/partner, children, parents, siblings? Do you think maybe they wonder why booze is more important to you then they are?
Yes, my husband has regained muscle mass and weight and putters where he used to and he managed this while 20 years older than you.
He followed doctor's orders & quit drinking from a hospital bed and has not started again. His liver doctor is pleased and has said he can live another 20 plus years, since his mom is 94.
I too have years of those memories which I thought I'd put to the back of my mind! I'm so proud of you giving up the drink 🏆 and supporting your hubby all the way! I'm praying to God that II'm not having to face this all over again as I'm NOT mentally strong enough hence my first message asking for support from those who have been there and understand that a happy loving person cannot be STRONG 24/7.
Yesterday was a good day and I went to bed for a change feeling ok! I know my hubby loves and adores me so much which he shows in many ways,
but when he screws with my mind
unintentionally I'm now finding myself wanting to hide my self away from the world which is a scary feeling which I do not want in my life! I'm fighting back by being a blummin pain in the arse on this forum! 😁
Burn, I'm behind you and others fighting this dreadful disease !
Which film did you watch last night? I like some of the funny black and white 1920's films ! Some I collect!
Mary/Burn plus others who I love for being my friend and supporter when fighting your own battles is a HUGE HUG ! 💕
Love Trishi x
Hi Bern1407
Welcome to our forum. If you would like a chat and are in the UK, the helpline is open this week 10am to 14.45.
You may also find our unformation on cirrhosis useful to read on the website;
As the members have posted, do consider reaching out for support to safely stop drinking. You are not alone, we hope you find the forum a supportive place to visit.
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