Has Peter left the Building?

[Radnor]

I'm referring to the guy who was on Carey's post. I reread his comments and decided to answer his straight speaking with some of my own. My reply was to him not Carey, but I have told her this. His post has gone. Did he remove it or did admin. I realise he would not have liked what I said. I dont regret a word of it! I think advising his family to join the site may have hit home?

[Hidden]

Out the door, turned left and headed for the local.....next stop????? 🚑

[Poobear69 in reply to Hidden]

That out of order fella?

[Hidden in reply to Poobear69]

Confused Poobear, did you see Peters post? If not the answers speak for themselves or am I being dim?

[Radnor in reply to Hidden]

I think Poobear was asking do we mean that out of order fella, , we do.

[Poobear69 in reply to Hidden]

No mate, I’m sure that you’re not dim? Yeah I’ve read the post and think he’s behaving in a pathetic, childlike, spoilt and selfish manner, however, I personally don’t think it’s necessary to use the that comment that you did to communicate to him or otbrrs about him. I’m all for a bit of tough love and if ain’t working move yourself from the situation? I’m an alcoholic in recovery, loving being sober by the way, and was in a foul mood a few months back and I was told to F off and have a drink to calm me down by someone who knew I was in recovery? You know what snoutie if I hadn’t become that strong man that I am today that would of been my pathetic excuse to have a drink. As I’ve learnt very quickly over the past few essays you all seem like great people with storie, experiences and laughs to share. If he is ignoring the support then let him jog on mare!

[Poobear69 in reply to Poobear69]

Meant mate! 😂

[Hidden in reply to Poobear69]

Thanks Poobear, my diagnosis was end stage alcoholic decompensated cirrhosis. I don’t judge, it’s not my place. Peter is in denial, has metaphorically walked out and I think we all know where. We have all done it. If he comes back, happy to help.

I like others, made a deal with my donor, put the gift to good use. I am very excited about a meeting I managed to set up with the AHA next week. No offence taken.

Mark

[Hidden in reply to Poobear69]

The guy Radnor is referring to wasnt posting for himself. It was a comment he made on someone else's post. Laura mentioned that her husband had decompensated cirrhosis and was told to stop drinking or he would die and didnt and was dead in a year. Which did actually happen. This Peter fella chimed in and told Laura that cirrhosis didnt work that way and to stop googling her answers basically. So he pretty much was told off for making such an ignorant and crass comment and now has disappeared off the forum. If I'm thinking of the right Peter?

[Radnor in reply to Poobear69]

Obnoxious ,ignorant and they are his good points. He needs some serious intervention, he stated alcohol kills the pain? I am sure enough people have suffered the real pain of losing a loved one, like Laura. The suffering too when there is no hope of recovery too. Seeing someone go from a 12 stone fit man to a 6 stone skeleton. My last relationship was with someone who drank a minimum of 8 pint a day! He was diagnosed with a rare cancer just a few weeks after we met. I was with him every step of the way. It was a killer and the only potential for saving his life was it being lasered away. The surgeon had one shot at this, surviving the surgery was hurdle one. She called in to see him at 11.30pm. Everyone of her team was with her. She got it all. I realised he was a big drinker, but I put it down to the stress of being dead in a few months. He swore he would never drink or smoke again, this woman had given him his life. Lasted 2 weeks! started on lower alcohol stuff, soon back to being alcohol dependent. He said he never touched spirits or wine, so he was ok? He got his 2 years survival , but began to change. From a bit dafter funnier drinker to a nasty piece of work. I gave him no ultimatums, I just ended our 3 year relationship. It was a tough journey when he had cancer, he was offered meds to stop in hospital but he didnt want to . He had to be detoxed before his op, asked me what Librium was, I told him then so you dont have seizures, they know your an alcoholic. The easy option would have been to stay, but as much as it hurt I didnt want to watch him kill himself. He was 53. Hazelx

[Poobear69]

Wish I’d seen the post and your rely! I’m a self opinetaed easender I know but I do shoot from the hip! It’s had to be done sometimes fella eh?!!

[Radnor in reply to Poobear69]

My get it got it good is still on Carey's post. He got both barrels , he was still on last night when I typed it. I hope it struck a chord, He needs to get help, told him the alternatives if he doesnt.My direct speaking is tried and tested, took one of my Street Drinkers to hospital. He got undressed then the penny dropped, he couldnt drink! His poor mother was heartbroken, 3 of her 4 off spring were alcoholics! I gave him a dressing down that warranted a punch, Told him he was a bloody wuss! Amongst other things. It was the start of him getting sober. I didnt hear him telling his Mum he would stay if she brought him some weed in - Convenient deafness.

[Hidden]

He seems.to have deleted his post and left the site as his profile is no longer searchable

[Radnor]

Guess he didnt like some home truths? I hope it triggers something , he said no one mentions they have cirrhosis except on here? I feel for his family, they have no idea by the sound of it? Hope he doesnt leave it too late.

[Hidden]

Hi all,

Admin has not removed any posts and did not see the original comments. It seems like the member that is being discussed has chosen to leave.

We would urge all members to respond to posts with kindness and compassion if others are struggling.

Thank you,

British Liver trust team

[chrisw740 in reply to Hidden]

Well said and thank you... no one has been bullied into sobriety and the thread was not this forum's finest hour, such a shame that the tone changed over the last few months. It is of course frustrating when new members seem to be self destructing but the trust's approach can be the only approach.

[Radnor]

Hi Chris

I'm not sure if you saw what this man posted, it contained bullying and despite numerous attempts to engage him, he was extremely rude and insensitive.Perhaps he should have been reported to Admin? The young woman who posted was in an unsure place and she had a number of comments, all of which were aiming for the same goal. Laura 009 in particular was spoken to in an extremely awful way. This man was promoting alcohol, and attempts were made to try and engage him. Of course no one but the person themselves can make the choice to stop drinking. I have had hands on experience in a professional capacity. What I wrote was not based on wishful thinking or guesswork. I sincerely hope this man took in some of the pointers, it seems he has not shared his condition from what he said. No he isnt ready, but encouraging someone to drink is against all our beliefs. I pointed out some facts, So many on here have witnessed in their own health some of what I said. Ok he has left, but hopefully he is more informed of some facts he may not have considered. One of the most satisfying parts of my work was re uniting families, It wasn't all pretty words and pleasantries. The difference it made to the people I was working with was immense. If this man does realise in spite of his current position, he may be surprised how support could be his start to recovery. Hazel

[chrisw740]

Hey Hazel, I did see the whole thread. I've been a Foster carer for young people at risk of rough sleeping and also lost a loved one to alcohol. My area is actually nephrology but I'm semi retired. Lots of us have powerful narratives and your contributions are consistently invaluable. I do though standby my support of trust 1 whilst appreciating your point.

Very Best

Chris

[Radnor]

Their but for the grace of God go I. My favourite Uncle was an alcoholic. He was my Dad's brother and they looked like twins. My Dad didnt like drink, Several of his large family were alcoholics. It has gone from my Dad's line, both my brother and I , My daughter and his 2 . One of is did concern me a little, every photo on FB had alcohol in abundance. Getting married and starting a family removed that concern. She has not touched a drink since Christmas 2016. Breast feeding and baby no 2 due in March. The average age of my 'gang' was 34. Some were prone to violent outbursts, but I was never once threatened or hurt.They had had children removed and adopted, been imprisoned and some were homeless. They all knew I had been responsible for them getting an ASBO . My no 1 criteria was honesty. I didnt get instant results most of the time, It sometimes took time for for my words to sink in. It was evidenced in the fact that only 2 out of 12 breached and served time. It was a pilot. Funded for 2 years. It was hailed as a great success but funding went and my work changed. No idea what the work would be classified as, I do know that it would have saved so many being imprisoned leaving space for real criminals .Hazel